What does a janitor yell when he comes out of the closet?
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︎ Jan 26 2023
What do you call two guys hanging above your window?
π︎ 1k
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︎ Jan 17 2023
Ha
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︎ Jan 25 2023
What do I know about atoms?
π︎ 215
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︎ Jan 22 2023
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
π︎ 2k
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︎ Dec 05 2022
Do you stir your coffee with your right hand?
If so, try using a spoon next time.
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︎ Jan 16 2023
What is the fear of houses?
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︎ Jan 20 2023
My boyfriend doesn't know me at all, he keeps giving me birds as gifts, and I don't understand it. Should we break up?
Edit: He actually just gave me five golden rings! Maybe he really does know me (:Edit2: More birds again
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︎ Dec 09 2022
A boy was fed up with all the jokes about his name
His name was Matt Buttlicker.
So the moment he turned 18, against the wishes of his family, he went straight to a court and officially changed his name to Dave Buttlicker.
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︎ Feb 04 2023
What did one boob say to the other boob?
Youβre my breast friend
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︎ Dec 08 2022
Why does Mario hang around with Toad so much?
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︎ Jan 07 2023
I called my pet termite Clint
π︎ 1k
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︎ Nov 14 2022
Bear Hunting Trip
2 guys are driving to Maine to go bear hunting. They are driving on I-95 in New Hampshire. A sign over the highway reads β Maine bear leftβ. So they turned around and went home.
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︎ Dec 05 2022
Two guys walk into a bar
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︎ Jan 25 2023
I was addicted to steering fluid
But I turned myself around and went straight
I am currently addicted to brake fluid, but Iβm pretty sure I can stop whenever I want to
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︎ Jan 13 2023
Merriam-Webster recently announced that their top word for 2022 is "gaslighting".
When approached for comment, Merriam-Webster replied "No it isn't, why would you even think that?"
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︎ Dec 05 2022
what do you get if a dinosaur kicks you in the behind
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︎ Jan 11 2023
How much does Tom Brady charge for corn?
75Β’
Itβs a Buccaneer but you get a Quarterback.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Oct 01 2022
What dinosaur is known for riding a bike without a seat?
Megasaurass
My 7 and 12 year old laughed so hard the 12 year old peed. Mom was not impressed.
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︎ Oct 27 2022
Scientist have discovered a new dinosaur
It had no eye sockets so it was completely blind. They have named it Do-u-think-he-saur-us.
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︎ Jan 22 2023
I met a woman who only had one leg. She called herself
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︎ Jul 12 2022
I'm not watching the World Cup.
If I want to see a bunch of guys struggle to score for 90 minutes, I just go to my local bar.
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︎ Dec 06 2022
Whatβs the most dependable Latin American country?
Panama! We canal-ways count on them π΅π¦
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︎ Dec 29 2022
Did this one in real life
Roommate (who for reference is gay) is putting up the reusable artificial Christmas tree with a group of friends. He steps back to look at his work, then turns around and asks βmaybe itβs me, but this tree doesnβt look straightβ
Me: βprobably because it just came out of the closetβ
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︎ Dec 09 2022
A scientist weighed a rainbow
And found it it was pretty light
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︎ Oct 06 2022
I was watching an Australian cookery show and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue.
I was surprised, as Australians normally boo meringue.
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︎ Sep 23 2022
I'm at the hospital for the birth of my first child, but no one is laughing at my jokes.
I really need to work on my delivery.
(But seriously, I'm about to be a dad. My wife rolled her eyes at this joke then called me "loco".)
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︎ Jun 11 2022
What do you call a really fast dinosaur?
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︎ Nov 07 2022
Why didnβt 4 ask 5 out?
π︎ 7k
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︎ Jun 02 2022
Have yall heard of the gay chocolate? nice fella, goes by her/she
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︎ Oct 18 2022
Where do bad rainbows go?
Prism. It is just a light sentence.
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︎ Sep 08 2022
What do you call an oral surgeon that is very good at repairing cavities?
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︎ Nov 12 2022
What do you say to a gladiator before a fight?
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 29 2022
Howβd everyone react to the moon landing?
Wow, thatβs out of this world
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︎ Nov 28 2022
Gaymer in the house
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 22 2022
Anyone know what the term LGBTQ means?
I ask people, but I can never get a straight answer
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︎ Apr 10 2022
whats a rappers favorite toy?
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 01 2022
Doctor: " What are you using for birth control?"
Me: "My personality mostly."
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︎ Jun 25 2022
A prawn walked into a disco
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︎ Oct 14 2022
Never get a tuxedo made out of playing cards.
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︎ May 15 2022
what is the difference between a fruit and a vegetable
Fruits are able to leave the hospital
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︎ Sep 11 2022
Why did J. K. Rowlingβs dog pee on her?
>!He wanted to mark his terf!<
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︎ Jun 18 2022
Why dinosaurs can't fly?
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︎ Sep 06 2022
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they are bi themselves.
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︎ Sep 11 2022
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Dec 29 2022
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
π︎ 999
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︎ Aug 06 2022
Where do rainbows go, if they commit a crime?
Prism... it's a light sentence
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︎ Oct 07 2022
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