A pastor, a priest and a rabbit walk into a bar...

... as they enter they pass an Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman, two deaf men arguing about the musical act, a man drinking with a cat and a flamingo, step over a passed out giraffe, glance at the man with a frog on his head, marvel at the meat hanging from the ceiling, ignore the horse and approach the barman.

The barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?" to which the rabbit replies, "Got any carrots?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lazlowoodbine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2022
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I keep telling everyone it's still pi day and they keep asking me why.

I tell them, because everyone knows it goes from 3/14-15.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/razzec_phone
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2022
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What's the worst kind of wedding?

The one where everything goes off without a hitch.

My wife and I came up with this while reminiscing about our wedding on our anniversary. 14 years and going strong!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/first_must_burn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2021
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I've been doing this one for years and they still don't learn...

Today, I woke up my daughter (14) for school at 6 am. She first goes into the bathroom.

When she arrives at the breakfast table her hair is still really messy.

My wife fetches a brush and says: "Oh my god, you look terrible!"

Me: "Yes, and have you seen her hair!?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjutachi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2014
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