OR: how a man who's been dead for 170 years continues to cause nationalistic slap fights, pointless internet arguments, and homophobia

#"It's pronounced sho-pahn, darling": introducing our main man

Born in 1810 in a tiny hamlet just outside Warsaw, Frederic Chopin was a Polish piano composer of the Romantic era who found renown across Europe for his talent, as well as for breaking all the rules and creating new ones, in the process pioneering a range of genres and formats that frankly I’m nowhere near musically-educated enough to describe. However, it’s his personal life that guaranteed he would be romanticised for all time. Sullen, introverted, sensitive, tortured… add in the fact that he died tragically early at the age of 39 years old, and you have a recipe for immortality.

When it comes to the classical music canon (no, not the one by Pachelbel), our angsty boi is one of the heavyweights. Even if you aren’t into classical, you’ve almost certainly heard at least one of his compositions before. You know THE iconic funeral march? That’s a Chopin original, baby. The marketing campaign for Halo 3 used Chopin to great effect. Pick any of the performances from Your Lie in April, and there’s 50-50 odds it’ll be Chopin. If you’re a pianist, it’s basically the law that you have at least one of his pieces in your repertoire (mine’s Raindrop Prelude, yes I know I'm basic as hell).

Basically, ol' Freddy’s a big deal in classical music. He’s also a big deal in Poland (here's a game you can play at home: type "famous Polish people" into Google and see who pops up first). Fun fact: at one point, Chopin was printed on Polish currency. Here’s another fun fact: the country named its main airport after him. And here’s one more for the road: he’s basically the patron saint for Marzuka and Polonaise, two genres inspired by - what else? - Polish folk dance.

Okay, so how the hell is someone who died 170 years ago still causing drama to this day?

Forced out of the closet after 170 years? Chopin might h