I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Today is the sixteenth of September! MOASS almost definitely confirmed for today, because Evergrande is doing absolutely fine and I would most certainly buy Evergrande shares right after writing this post! Look what this day brought us over the past years, and just imagine what that day will bring us in 2021! <3
Events
681 β Pope Honorius I is posthumously excommunicated by the Sixth Ecumenical Council.
1400 β Owain GlyndΕ΅r is declared Prince of Wales by his followers.
1620 β Pilgrims set sail from England on the Mayflower.
1701 β James Francis Edward Stuart, sometimes called the "Old Pretender", becomes the Jacobite claimant to the thrones of England and Scotland.
1732 β In Campo Maior, Portugal, a storm hits the Armory and a violent explosion ensues, killing two-thirds of its inhabitants.
1776 β American Revolutionary War: The Battle of Harlem Heights is fought.
1779 β American Revolutionary War: The Franco-American Siege of Savannah begins.
1810 β With the Grito de Dolores, Father Miguel Hidalgo begins Mexico's fight for independence from Spain.
1863 β Robert College, in Istanbul, the first American educational institution outside the United States, is founded by Christopher Robert, an American philanthropist.
1880 β The Cornell Daily Sun prints its first issue in Ithaca, New York. The Sun is the United States' oldest, continuously-independent college daily.
1893 β Settlers make a land run for prime land in the Cherokee Strip in Oklahoma.
1908 β The General Motors Corporation is founded.
1914 β World War I: The Siege of PrzemyΕl (present-day Poland) begins.
1920 β The Wall Street bombing: A bomb in a horse wagon explodes in front of the J. P. Morgan building in New York City killing 38 and injuring 400.
1940 β World War II: Italian troops conquer Sidi Barrani.
1943 β World War II: The German Tenth Army reports that it can no longer contain the Allied bridgehead around Salerno.
1945 β World War II: The Japanese occupation of Hong Kong comes to an end.
1955 β The military coup to unseat President Juan PerΓ³n of Argentina is launched at midnight.
1955 β A Zulu-class submarine becomes the first to launch a ballistic missile.
1956 β TCN-9 Sydney is the first Australian television station to commence regular broadcasts.
1959 β The first successful photocopier, the Xerox 914, is introduced in a demonstration on live television from New York City.
1961 β The United States National Hurricane Research Project drops eight cyli
... keep reading on reddit β‘Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Christopher Walken
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it π€·ββοΈπ€
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
