On the 65th day of the 84th war, Colonial Forces captured the fortress of Westmarch in Loch Mor after a pitched two-day battle. This was an organized assault conducted by several Colonial Regiments, including SOM and some others. The Capture of Westmarch marked the beginning of the siege of Prairie Bazar, which Colonial Forces had cut off from all forms of land logistics. It wasn't long before Warden Logistics spotted colonial battle barges on the River Mercy attempting to cut supply over water as well. However, initial reports suggested that minor skirmishing began on the 67th day. The region was under the supervision of a warden Regiment that had taken residence in the area around Fort Duncan. Thus it was deemed a non-critical situation by many considering not many knew that it had been an organized assault that had taken Westmarch mere days before.

The fighting began in force on the 68th day, when it became clear that the defences positioned by the Deployed regiment had not considered the security of Prairie Bazar, thus meaning the city itself only had weak defences surrounding it. The battle had begun between the resident regiment and the organized colonial forces, which had already started to push a well developed defensive line into the city's outskirts thanks to the efforts of CGC to rapidly develop the Colonial position and supplies. Across the River Mercy, on the 69th day, the 82DK regimental Chimera Battalion had deployed to strengthen the defences of Ulster Falls, had received word from the regiment defending Prairie of the rapidly deteriorating situation. Quite rapidly, the Senior Kriegsman put Chimera's operation on hold as they quickly began to redeploy to the city, led by Senior Kreigsman Matter. The battalion promptly found themselves engrossed in close quarters combat inside the town hall, While the Colonials began to deploy an ISG crew to start bombarding the town hall with 30mm ordinance. Once Chimera had restored order inside of the Townhall, the Senior Kriegsman began to quickly organize the forces at his disposal to form a firing perimeter to keep the Colonial troops back. He then began deploying another small squad to start the construction of pillboxes around the town hall to strengthen the position further. During this, a fierce battle was being fought all around the town hall as the Colonials continued to push the position with determined ferocity. After a night of desperate fighting, the situation surrounding the town hall had

Last night at 10:15 pm I ran over 2 fellow colonial troops at Fort Duncan while doing a supply run.

I would like to apologise.

Sincerely - A humble logi

We were so far forward and then I log on and we have lost Fort Duncan, how?

Preface:

I've been working on the Black Flag No Damage challenge run since about the time I finished Revelations and started working on AC 3. This was by far the most difficulty to no damage not due to gameplay or mechanics but because I'm stubborn and wanted to keep the trend going I set back in AC Brotherhood. No Damage with full synchronization of each sequence. Before I jump into that though let me explain in detail what "No Damage" meant for this challenge.

The Rules:

The criteria for this challenge was the players health bar (Edwards) could not fall below 100% from the first possible instance of damage (run start) until the credits roll. Damage taken during ship encounters to the ship itself did not count since this would be impossible to avoid in almost every instance of ship combat. All missions and all Sequences in the main story had to be completed with 100% Synchronization and could not be failed, desynchronized, or restarted to gain a combat or positional advantage. No glitches or bugs to break intended gameplay was allowed.

As with many games in the franchise there are three areas where the game forces you to take damage. These three instances did not count against the No Damage objective of this challenge since they are developer intended and cannot be avoided. I've detailed the three exceptions below.

- Sequence 1

• (Game Start): As soon as you're able to control Edward, while moving to the wheel to take control of the ship, you're allowed one instance of damage since you cannot make it to the wheel consistently without taking damage. Any damage taken after the first instance would count.
• (First Island): When chasing Duncan you're allowed to take the pistol shot damage.

Sequence 10

• Memory 3: As you are finding your way out of the Observatory you're forced to slide down a slope and fall into the sea below. During the slide sequence you're allowed to take damage as it is narrative and unavoidable. Additionally, after emerging from the water you'll begin to take constant damage until you reach near 0 HP and faint. This is all allowed since it is unavoidable and required to progress the story.

The Bad:

As I alluded to earlier the most difficult aspect of this challenge was completing each sequence with full synchronization. Black Flag has some of the most RNG and "out of your way" optional objectives in the entire AC franchise. This challenge would have been much easier and taken a l

(The following is not a polished theory even in the slightest and probably reads more like rambling and I haven't seen the show in a while. All around bear with me)

(Also I made a post about this years ago but this is a theory that I love and wanted to go a bit more in-depth about)

1. Season 3 when Subway first appears (The "person" not the corporation) in that episode before the intro the dean looks at the Greendale bylaws and says "Did you know Greendale students are technically in the army reserves?"

2. In season 5 when Duncan runs out of paper clips in the little clip before the credits he calls on his phone until he hears "arcadia" or something and whatever he says results in a literal fucking jet flying above Greendale

3. I think the Dean gets put the idea of paint ball assassin in his head by the government and every student are being subliminally trained in this military base/boot camp since there are paintball games where they in this order they, Learn to be soldiers (first paintball where everybody learnt how to use weapons and none of them lasted long enough for a second episode, like they did in the second paintball) Learn to be scavengers (Wild West they had to search for ammo) Learn to work in a team (The whole fact of "The 100gs goes to save the school". There is probably a way to switch "school" with "US" and "100gs" with "nukes") Learn to be espionage agents (The whole James Bond Parody which the final paintballs is.)
   Side note: The 1930s/Mafia/Noir paintball flashback (If canon) has nothing to do with the military since the prize is lame unlike the other prizes which get the students to dedicated which is why I think it is just the Dean being stupid.

4. The world is on the edge of some nuclear crisis. This is why there are jets in/near Greendale and why in the Duncan scene they are so quick and urgent. This is also why they are taking people from the school. They need highly trained soldiers and they need them quick, so that they cant take down this large a threat. This would also explain the apocalypse feeling from the first one and the second one which lasts long enough to where people are scavenging for bullets. This would also explain why almost everything revolves around the study group. They are the best in the school. It is always one of them who wins and in the Star Wars, Jeff literally plans to use the rest of the school as canon fodder in this attack against the mini-gun and Troy comes up with this gr

(Up-To-Date as of January 31, 2022)

February 4, 2022

(WIDE)

Jackass Forever (Comedy/With: Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Machine Gun Kelly/R/1 hr 36 min/Paramount Pictures/d: Jeff Tremaine/Wide)

Moonfall (Disaster/With: Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson, Michael Pena, John Bradley/PG-13/2 hr 0 min/Lionsgate/d: Roland Emmerich/Wide)

(LIMITED)

The Wolf and the Lion (Family/With: Molly Kunz, Evan Bullung, Graham Greene/PG/1 hr 39 min/Blue Fox Entertainment/d: Gilles de Maistre/Limited)

Breaking Bread (Documentary/With: Nof Atamna-Ismaeel, Shlomi Meir, Ali Khattib, Osama Dalal/1 hr 25 min/Cohen Media Group/d: Beth Elise Hawk/Limited)

The Worst Person In The World (DramRomCom/With: Renate Reinsve, Anders Danielsen Lie, Maria Grazia Di Meo, Mia McGovern Zaini/R/2 hr 7 min/NEON/d: Joachim Trier/Limited)

Last Survivors (Sci-Fi/With: Benjamin Arthur, Mark Famiglietti, Simon Lees, Stephen Moyer/Vertical Entertainment/d: Drew Mylrea/Limited)

The Long Night (a.k.a. The Coven) (Horror/With: Scout Taylor-Compton, Nolan Gerard Funk, Jeff Fahey, Deborah Kara Unger/R/Well Go USA Entertainment/d: Rich Ragsdale/Limited)

February 11, 2022

(WIDE)

Marry Me (RomCom/With: Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, Utkarsh Ambudkar, Sarah Silverman/PG-13/1 hr 52 min/Universal Pictures/d: Kat Coiro/Wide)

Death on the Nile (Mystery/With: Kenneth Branagh, Gal Gadot, Tom Bateman, Rose Leslie/PG-13/2 hr 7 min/20th Century Studios/d: Kenneth Branagh/Wide)

Blacklight (Action/With: Liam Neeson, Aidan Quinn, Taylor John Smith, Emmy Raver-Lampman/PG-13/1 hr 48 min/Open Road Films-Briarcliff Entertainment-Sina Studios/d: Mark Williams/Wide)

(LIMITED)

Catch The Fair One (CrimeThriller/With: Daniel Henshall, Jonathan Kowalsky, Peter Johnson, Gerald Webb/1 hr 25 min/IFC Films/d: Josef Kubota Wladyka/Limited)

Cosmic Dawn (Sci-Fi/With: Camille Rowe, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Antonia Zegers, Joshua Burge/1 hr 33 min/Good Deed Entertainment/d: Jefferson Moneo/Limited)

Give Or Take (Dramedy/With: Norbert Leo Butz, Jamie Effros, Joanne Tucker, Louis Cancelmi/1 hr 43 min/Breaking Glass Pictures/d: Paul Riccio/Limited)

Ronnie’s (Documentary/With: Gilles Peterson, Kyle Eastwood, Simon Cooke, Barbara Jay/1 hr 43 min/Greenwich Entertainment/d: Oliver Murray/Limited)

**S

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Introduction

This will be a much-requested post in which I summarize, in chronological order, my Grand Unified Theories. I will provide citations to my long-form posts where you can find more details and evidence, if it strikes you. Even summarized it’s still pretty long, so I’m sorry for that in advance (TL;DR ended up being kind of ironic by the time I was finished).

If I do a good job at this, hopefully I won’t have to clarify anything. If you’re unfamiliar with my theories and reading this, I ask that you check the cited chapters for more details before offering criticism of the timeline! I’m specifically omitting evidence in order to keep this one brief and easy to follow!

Please note: for brevity’s sake, I will often use a specific date for an event that has a range (i.e. something happened between 2000 B.C. and 1000 B.C. might be labeled 1500 B.C.). Don’t take the exact numbers as gospel! The order in which the events occur and their approximate place on the timeline is what’s important.

It is also important to note that this will not be an exhaustive timeline. I will mostly only include contextualizing events and things that are a part of my theories.

This will include historical events in both the East and the West, but the labels and terminology for the timeline will be in Westerosi terms.

The Dawn Age (40,000 B.C. - 10,000 B.C)

40,000 B.C. - The world is young. Giants, Lions, Unicorns, the Children of the Forest are all commonplace at this time. The world’s First Tree, Ygg, is already ancient beyond memory. The cycle of the seasons is regular and lasts one year, as this was the time before the seasons were broken. Two moons float in the sky, and mankind is yet a young and savage race. [6][7]

22,000 B.C. - Garth Greenhand, an incredibly powerful sorcerer, is born in the Far East. Over the course of centuries, he unites the tribes of the Jade Sea along with his younger brother, another powerful sorcerer. [7][8]

In the Far East, Garth is remembered as the God on Earth, because he was worshiped as a Green God, demanding human sacrifice in exchange for making the land bloom. He taught mankind to farm, and the first cities in the world began to spring up along the coast of the Jade Sea. [7]

18,000 B.C. - Garth and his brother, having united the Eastern peopl

Hey again /r/mls I'm back with part three of the state soccer teams. For those of you seeing this for the first time, I began a project last summer where in a made-up universe, each U.S. state (commonwealth for the people in KY, MA, PA, and VA) had their own state soccer team. I have done Part I revised a few weeks ago, and now I am on to part two!

To get read-up on everything, check out Part 1.

#Previous Threads Part 1 (AL-CA) | Part 2 (CO-GA) | Part 3 (HI-IA) | Part 4 (KS-MO) | Part 5 (MT-OH)

#Hawai'i

• Home Stadium: Clarence T. C. Ching Stadium, Honolulu (Capacity: 15,000)
• Notable players: Bobby Wood, Antonee Robinson, Alfredo Morales and Dylan Teves
• Likely CONCACAF equivalent: Belize
• Rivals: Guam, American Samoa, California, and Washington state

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

This is really fun y’all. 5-00000000000 without Ja somehow