I ate a clock for breakfast... ( Trust me it's not what you think )

...later that day when I used the bathroom my poop was a waste of time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ultimate_89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2022
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Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school..

..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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So it's past 4 am for me and my mind decided to make this. are you proud internet?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ydc137
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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So let me tell you a little about my situation. It's currently about -12Β°F outside and my HVAC just broke. So, I decided to build a fire, but it turns out I can't use my fireplace because it needs a new flue, and I'm sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for this

but I just need t(w)o vent(s) right now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuddyEndsleigh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
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As I was dropping my son off on his first day of school, he worriedly looked at me and asked, β€œHow long do I have to go to school for?” Smiling, I responded, β€œUntil you’re 18 buddy!" He nodded, thought about it for a bit and said...

β€œDad, you will remember to come and get me when I’m 18, won’t you?”

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2022
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I went to a bakery in Glasgow to get a cake for my pals birthday. When I walked in the baker told me every cake was a pound and so I picked a cake and took it to the till where the baker told me it would be two pounds. I asked the baker, β€˜didn’t you say every cake was a quid?’ To which he replied…

β€œAye, but that’s Madeira cake…”

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2022
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My Grandpa used to say, β€œIf it wasn’t for me, you’d all be speaking German right now.”

Lovely man… terribly bad foreign language teacherβ€”no idea why the school hired him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NorCalNavyMike
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2021
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Hi Reddit, My wife and I are going to be stuck on a train for a few hours next week. I need some train related Dad Jokes!

I'm training for this ahead of time.

Edit #1: Thank you reddit. I think you ensured I will be getting divorced. Don't let up, it's full steam ahead.

Edit #2: My wife hates train puns. I sent her screen shots. She's on to my loco-motives.

Edit #3: I'm speechless. Largely because it's like 6am and I want to stay quiet to not wake up my wife, she's out coal'd, snoring like a freight train. I feel like you all really railed it with these jokes. I hope that she doesn't chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga choose choose to divorce me. I couldn't wait until the train ride. I told my wife some of the jokes. I working on a YouTube compilation of them from last night. I feel like she conducted herself quite well.

Edit #4: [These jokes were off the rails. Here is the YouTube link of my wife's reaction so far.] (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

Edit #5: I'm about to start training.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potox8
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2022
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*True Story* Was walking into a local bar for an afternoon of day drinking when I accidentally hit my head on a low hanging tree branch. I told my girlfriend, "That tree just just assaulted me!" She thought she was being witty replied "The tree thinks you assaulted it...."

I turned to her, asked "Do you know what we have here?" removed my sunglasses, "It's a case of he said, tree said."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sl33nky
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2021
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Today I was reaching for a board game from our shelf. The one on top of the pile quickly slid down and hit me in the face. It was that game where you go around in a car and add family members, choose a career, have kids, etc.

A painful reminder that LIFE comes at you fast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rabidmilkman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2021
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My 10 Year Old "Dad Joked" Me This Weekend

He walked into my room and says, "Hey dad, can you take a picture of me?"

I thought it was a weird request, but said, "Sure."

As I'm reaching for my phone, he pulls out a framed picture of himself from behind his back he had taken off one of our shelves, hands it to me, and says, "Ok, thanks!" and walks out without even cracking a smile.

I stared at that picture for a few seconds in proud silence.

*edit/update* Wow... I woke up this morning and noticed a ton of notifications. This made my 10 year old very happy so thank you. And thank you for the awards as well. Totally unexpected and unnecessary but very appreciated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THaNaToS_J2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2022
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A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$1500!" she cried, "$1500 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $50, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $1500."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YZXFILE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2022
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My wife just told me, β€œI can’t find my datebook. I’ve looked for it everywhere. Have you seen it?”

Me: It seems like....you have a hidden agenda.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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"Dad, can you do my math homework for me?" I chuckled, "No son, it wouldn't be right." He sighed...

"Well, at least you could try."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Not a joke. But I wish it was.

I am not a dad. I am a daughter. For longer than I can remember, I have called my dad at "too early" times in the morning, woke him up, and told him a joke. This was a daily occurrence. Hence how I found this sub.

My dad died on Monday. You guys helped me wake him up with laughter so many times and I got to hear him laugh every day. Thank you r/dadjokes.

Edit: spelling

Wow I really did not expect so many people to see this post or to take the time to comment and reach out to me. Thank you all so much for your thoughts and kind words. It really means a lot. This is a great community and I'm so glad to have found it. As a mom to two beautiful little jokesters, I will absolutely continue pestering them with daily jokes and keep the tradition and the laughter alive.

For those asking, his favorite jokes were the really long ones that took forever to tell and had bad/ the best punchlines. The one that immediately sticks out was posted here either Sunday or Monday and was the last one I got to tell him. I will see if I can find it and figure out how to link. It was about a farmer who really loved tractors.

Thank you to the kind redditors who found it for me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/slwg7y/bit_of_a_story_to_this_one_but_well_worth_the_read/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

πŸ‘︎ 45k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndiPandi92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2022
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Did I tell you guys about the side-hustle plan I came up with? I’m going to do personal training for the band that recorded β€˜Lola’ and β€˜You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...

I just have to work out a few Kinks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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My daughter just asked me to call her iPad….

My 7 year old daughter was getting ready for bed and was looking for her iPad. β€œDad, can you call my iPad?” She asked me. I was ready for this moment. Without hesitation I replied β€œwhat do you want me to call it?” She looked at me blankly. β€œNo…call my iPad” she protested. I cupped my hand to my mouth and bellowed β€œEmily’s iPad” over and over. She finally caught on and we shared a laugh. I called her iPad on my phone, it rang in the other room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mofomania
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2022
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What is one thing you can’t stand having? For me, it’s a wheelchair
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πŸ‘€︎ u/violent-reeee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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My wife sometimes has trouble thinking of the right word for things. This morning, she asked me "what's it called when you have no bars?" Without missing a beat, I told her...

"Prohibition." She wasn't as amused as I was, I'm afraid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EngineersAnon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Real life conversation with my wife.

Wife: Let's have Vietnamese food tonight.

Me: Oh, Pho sure!

Wife: {Eye roll}

Me: Thanks for making a quick decision. It's really Hanoi-ing when you can't decide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ePoch270OG
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2022
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I cheered up my dad by telling him dad jokes:)

Yes, you've caught me I'm not actually a dad but rather a 16 year old female. This is a mess of a story so please bear with me:)

The other day I went downstairs to take my nighttime meds. When I got to the dining room, I saw my dad sitting at the island and he just looked so... sad. I've NEVER seen him like that before but he just seemed so lost and it broke me to see him like that.

My dad always puts on the tough guy act for whatever reason. I doubt he wanted anyone to see him like that so I pretended not to notice. So, I walked over and started chatting with him. We talked about school and video games for a bit until the conversation went a bit dead. However, I had the lovely idea of telling him some dad jokes because those always cheer me up:)

Here are a few of the jokes I told (yes, I did steal them from here haha):

What did the lawyer wear to court?

A lawsuit

-----------

What do you call a romantic vampire?

A necromancer

-----------

Why didn't 4 ask out 5?

Because he was 2Β²

----------

I told more but I don't remember them off the top of my head.

Those jokes did spark conversation and it made me realize how much I missed having chats with my dad.

After about an hour and a half, I unfortunately had to go to bed as I had school in the morning.

However, since then my dad and I have been regularly having chats:)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/veebesina
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2022
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My 6yo holds a slice of red pepper up to my face and breaks it towards me. Me: β€œUgh, what did you do that for. You got me all wet.”

β€œThat was pepper spray.”

Got me!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gorescittmore
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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My wife got excited because of a delivery she received

She got a new heavy-gauge wok that she had her eye on for a while. I asked her if she remembered to get the special footwear for it.

She looked puzzled for a moment. Then she sighed and said, "Okay, lay it on me. Tell me your dad joke."

I said, "I don't know what you mean by that, but it is my understanding that they have boots that are made for wokking."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daneelthesane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2022
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σΡ ΞΌΞ­Ξ½Ξ±

I once knew a man from Greece. Every day he had breakfast in my father's cafΓ©. And every day he signed the bill: "σΡ ΞΌΞ­Ξ½Ξ±". Whenever we asked what it meant he just shook his head, laughed, and walked out.

After a few years we became good friends, and he invited me to his birthday meal at a fancy restaurant downtown. He wrote down the address and signed it again, "σΡ ΞΌΞ­Ξ½Ξ±", once again laughing on his way out. When I got there I met his family, including his daughter Helen. When it came time to pay the bill he signed it, as usual, "σΡ ΞΌΞ­Ξ½Ξ±"; as he did Helen looked down at his hands, and she let out a groan. I asked her what the problem was but she just shook her head and walked out. The next day the man told me his daughter had taken quite the fancy to me, and he wrote down her phone number. Once again he signed it, "σΡ ΞΌΞ­Ξ½Ξ±", laughing as he handed it to me.

Helen and I began dating and eventually married. And since he paid for the wedding her father saw to it that his motto was everywhere. It was written on the invitations, balloons, napkins, bunting, you name it. Even the cake had the words inscribed on its side, "σΡ ΞΌΞ­Ξ½Ξ±". I had never seen him so happy as he was on that day.

As a wedding present he left us the family home, and handed us the keys to it with a smile on his face as usual. Sure enough those two words were all over, "σΡ ΞΌΞ­Ξ½Ξ±": fridge magnets, post-it notes, plates, bowls, knives, forks, the front gate, the doormat, the postbox, the bird-bath, even the license plate on his old car. When Helen and I had our first son, he gifted us baby clothes with "σΡ ΞΌΞ­Ξ½Ξ±" written on them, still shaking his head and laughing.

On his deathbed, my father-in-law took my hand and thanked me for all I had done for him and his family. Framed on the wall next to him I saw it written again, "σΡ ΞΌΞ­Ξ½Ξ±".

And one last time I asked him what it meant.

And one last time, the man smiled, shrugged, and with his final breath he laughed and said,

"It's Greek to me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fancybigballs
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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Nurse: Wow, that cut looks pretty bad...want me to stitch it up for you?

Me: No, thanks.

Nurse: Fine. Suture self...

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IamSchrute25
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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My neighbour was a selling a speaker system for just $1. When I asked him why it was so cheap he told me that you cant adjust the sound, the volume is stuck at the loudest setting.

I said "Wow, I cant turn that down"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarf_spheal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they got together to discuss their experiences. Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from my Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I grabbed my holy water bottle, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb! The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, '"WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle holy water! I went out and I FOUND a bear. And then I began to read to the bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down the hill until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!"

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in bed in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OlderFLDude7
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2022
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Dave

Dave was bragging to his boss one day,

"You know, I know everyone famous there is to know"

"Go on - Just name someone, anyone, and I bet that know them"

Tired of his boasting, his boss decides to call Dave's bluff,

"OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"Not a problem boss"

"Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it"

So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door.

Tom Cruise is at home and answers the door himself and shouts,

"Dave! What's happening?"

"Great to see you!"

"Come on in for a beer!

Although shocked and more than a little impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical and he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just pure luck.

"No, no, just name anyone else then"

Dave says.

"President Biden!"

His boss quickly retorts.

"Yup"

Dave says, "We're buddies from years ago"

"Let's fly out to Washington and I'll show you"

So they fly out to Washington and go on the Whitehouse tour"

"While walking through the White House, Biden himself appears, spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying,

"Dave, what a surprise,it's great to see you again after all this time"

"I was just on my way to a meeting but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up"

After they leave the White House grounds the boss tells Dave that he's still not entirely convinced.

Dave again implores him to name another famous person.

After thinking about it for a long timethe boss replies with,

"The Pope!"

"Sure thing!"

Says Dave,

"I've known the Pope for years - since before he became Pope in fact"

So off they fly to Rome.

Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Saint Peter's Square at the Vatican.

Dave says,

"This will never work"

"I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people"

"Tell you what, I know all the Pope's guards here as well so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him,

"What happened?"

His boss looks up and says,

"It was the final straw"

"You and the Pope came out on the balcony and a Japanese tourist next to me said, to me... "

"Who the hell is that on the balcony with Dave?"

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orcamarine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sk2ec
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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The Wi-Fi password is…

A guest arrives at a boutique hotel in the woods. The front desk says β€œWelcome! Your room is ready and the wifi password is bearsbearsbears. Let me know if there’s anything else you need.”

The next day, the guest returns from a hike and the front desk says, β€œWelcome back! Your room has been cleaned and the wifi password is bearsbearsbears. Let me know if there’s anything else you need.”

That night, as the guest is heading out for dinner, the front desk says, β€œGood evening! I hope you enjoy your meal and the wifi password is –” β€œRight, thanks”, the guest interrupts. β€œI think I have it. You tell me wifi password every time!” The front desk says, β€œI know, but it’s bears repeating.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hugsfornugs
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2022
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So I finally had my moment

Hey everyone, not a dad yet, but Im getting ready for when the moment comes.

Earlier today we had a team meeting and one of my colleagues was telling us about her experience going to Pompeii the previous week, so I saw an opportunity and took it.

Me: While you were up there, did you close your eyes?

Her (visible confusion): N..no, why?

Me: Because, apparently, when you close your eyes it almost feels nothing changed at all.

Whole room: silent

10 seconds later: groans and laughter.

Felt amazing.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirKolio
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2022
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Here, let me spell it out for you

I T

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AugustusMemester
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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My son's first pun/dad joke...

I was playing the game Borderlands. There was a mission where Scooter asks you to get various parts for a vehicle.

My son was 5 at the time, and watching me play. Yeah, probably more like his first pun than a dad joke, but still..

Son: Daddy?

Me: Yes?

Son: Did Scooter say he wants you to get him an exhaust pipe?

Me: Yes.

Son: (does exaggerated sigh and slumps in his seat) How exhausting!

Then he grinned and looked intently at me to make sure I got it. I was so proud!

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2022
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My son was born yesterday and is in the NICU. [META]

What are your best dad jokes? Whoever tells me the funniest one will have the honor of knowing their dad joke was my first as a dad.

Edit: there are two winners.

The first is one I told to my wife. It is about him being born with 4 kidneys but two of them will become adult knees. Thank you u/cabbithunt

The second I told me son. "There are two fish in a tank. One fish looks at the other and says 'I'll drive you man the guns.'" Thank you u/kiabe1

Edit 2: After two weeks in the NICU, we have convinced the doctors to let us upgraded to the wireless home version. Thank you all for your well wishes and jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nomolos2621
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2021
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Me: "We had ribeye for supper, you can microwave some leftovers if you are hungry." Son: "No, y'all ate it all."

Me: "What!? There must be some missed steak!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soulscribble
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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I went into my favorite bar and asked for a Bud.The bartender, we'll call her Penny, say's you have to tell me who makes it first.Kinda stumped I said Anheiser Busch.She said "just fine,and hows your dick."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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I filled up my car's tyres today.

As I got back into the car to drive off, the service station attendant ran out to me and said "Hey, that'll cost you $2".

I said "It's always been free".

He shrugged. Then he said: "Sorry, that's inflation for you".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VCEMathsNerd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2022
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I got robbed

Thanks everyone for your concern. 😒 First off, I'm OK though I was a bit shook up. If you don't already know, I was robbed at the gas station this afternoon.

After my hands stopped trembling, I managed to call the Police.

They were quick to respond and calmed me down because my blood pressure went through the roof! My money's gone, however.

The police asked me if I knew who did it and I told them, "Yes, it was pump number 1."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2022
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Not a joke per se, but definitely fits - I texted my daughter "in a bottle" and then waited for her to ask "what's this I don't get it. How come out of the blue you just randomly send me the message 'in a...' ... I hate you"

Had potential to misfire but worked perfectly.

Also, the other day my wife left a Monster energy drink under her bed, and we waited for her to come and ask "ok who put this monster under my bed?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilbrent
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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My 11 yo son got out the car at school the other morning, right at the moment the gritter was driving by us spraying rock salt everywhere..

He got straight back in the car, looked at me with a completely serious face and said β€œI’ve just been assaulted”.

ETA: thank you so much for the awards, I showed him some (SOME!) of the comments πŸ˜‚ and it made his day, he was delighted that people actually enjoyed his joke to even just upvote and comment on it but actually couldn’t believe that people actually awarded it too (β€œpeople gave Reddit awards to it?? For my joke?? Like, did they actually mum or are you just saying that?!” so yea, thank you kind Redditors for making my 11yo extremely happy! You guys are the best 😊

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdubbg
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2022
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Punners, I need your help!

I am writing a diploma thesis about the use of puns in advertising slogans. For this purpose I need to find 150 of them. So far I've been able to find around 80, but the more I have, the harder it is for me to find more, as my sources are going dry.

That's why I'm asking you for help! Can you give me any punny ad slogans you know of, or any punny company name?

Thanks in advance!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jebedeah
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2022
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Just got laid off at work (NOT A JOKE)

Please give me the best dad jokes you got

Edit (10/8): WOW. I did not expect to get this many upvotes or awards, let alone this many dad jokes this early. Thank you all for helping me laugh/groan this entire coming weekend. Keep em coming!

Edit 2: 10K???!! I’m at a loss for words guys. Thank you so much for the love and making me laugh and groan my ass off for the next 3 months straight. Let’s make it 4! β™₯️

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bassistheplace246
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2021
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I have a plan for a new side-hustle. I’m gonna do personal training for members of the band that recorded β€˜Lola’ and β€˜You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...

I just have to work out a few Kinks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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"Dad, can you do my math homework for me?" "No son, it wouldn't be right."

"Well, at least you could try."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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