The wife and I were at the marriage counselor. "Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?" The marriage counselor asked glaring at me.
I look at my wife frustratingly and shout "You never even told me you sold flowers!?"
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︎ Feb 09 2021
My wifeβs mad at me because she said I never buy her flowers
I honestly didnβt even know she sold flowers
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︎ Nov 25 2020
What do you call a flower getting a sex change ?
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︎ Feb 08 2021
Iβm not sure why people refer to womenβs privates as a flower
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︎ Jan 23 2021
What type of flowers do sailors give on Valentineβs Day?
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︎ Feb 11 2021
There's a caterpillar near the flower
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︎ Dec 29 2020
What kind of flower do you have if everyone in the country drove a pink car?
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︎ Jan 19 2021
How many lips do flowers have?
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︎ Jan 21 2021
You can't plant any flowers
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︎ Jan 21 2021
How do flowers whistle?
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︎ Jan 09 2021
What type of flower is the best at math?
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︎ Jan 06 2021
What did the outraged flower say ?
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︎ Jan 05 2021
My wife has been complaining that I donβt buy her flowers. Tbh I donβt even know she started selling flowers.
Couldnβt post it earlier. Doing dishes, making everyoneβs bed, taking trash and all the other household chores ate up all my evening.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring?
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︎ Nov 18 2020
There is a German shepherd next door that keeps burying bones in my yard, and taking poops on my flower bed.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
is that a romantic jester?
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︎ Aug 01 2020
Friend - Hey man could you call for some flowers for me from online?
Me - Yeah sure bro I will cauliflowers.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
At a clownβs funeral, everybody brought flowers.
There wasnβt a dry face in the house.
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︎ Oct 21 2020
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasnβt botany.
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︎ Sep 30 2020
Why didnβt the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?
Their flight was deleied.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
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︎ Oct 18 2020
Why would I buy flowers when I don't like them!
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︎ Sep 06 2020
Where do flowers sleep?
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︎ Oct 27 2020
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Dad went to a flower shop
Dad: Have you guys got any cut flowers?
Flower store employee: No, but we have potted flowers.
Dad: Ah, well do you have scissors?
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Dad, do you like flowers?
Some, on a vase by vase basis.
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︎ Sep 27 2020
My wife said I never buy her flowers...
..., to be honest I never knew she is selling them.
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︎ Oct 09 2020
Today my wife accidentally pushed flower pot with her elbow. After 3 hours of arguingshe came to a conclusion that
I put it in the wrong place......
3 years ago
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︎ Oct 28 2020
What flower does everyone have on their head?
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︎ Sep 11 2020
You canβt plant flowers...
...if you havenβt botany
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︎ May 15 2020
What do you call a flower that is full of electricity?
A power plant.
My 6 y/o and I came up with that haha
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︎ Jun 21 2020
*sighs* You know what melancholy flowers make me think of?
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︎ Oct 06 2020
How can you tell the difference between flowers that bloom in the day and flowers that bloom in the night?
The difference is day and night.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
My neighbor got mad at me for planting my flowers too close to the fence...
I told them that they were still a few yards away.
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︎ Sep 09 2020
What did the rock say to the flower ok bloomer.
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︎ Jul 27 2020
Never buy flowers from a monk...
Only you can prevent florist friars
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︎ Aug 15 2020
Cops just arrested a protester throwing flowers...
they deemed it an act of Violets.
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︎ Jun 17 2020
What flower can kiss two people at once?
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︎ Aug 12 2020
Did you know robin hood owned a Flower shop?
It was called the Sherwood Florist
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︎ Jul 23 2020
How does the flower cross the lake
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︎ Jul 12 2020
My wife was upset that I did not buy her flowers !!!!
Goddamnit !!! She never told me she sold flowers !!!
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︎ Feb 16 2021
My wife is mad because I never buy her flowers.
I didnβt even know she sold flowers!
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Me - Dad could you call for some flowers for me from online?
Dad - Yeah sure son I would cauliflowers.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
"How comes you never buy her flowers?"
"I never knew she sold them!"
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︎ Oct 30 2020
My wife is upset because I never buy her flowers.
To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
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︎ Sep 09 2020
You canβt plant flowers...
...if you havenβt botany.
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︎ Aug 20 2020
If April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 13 2020
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