One starts at the head, one starts at the feet
one goes to the other - "how's it going?"
the other goes - "I'm having a ball"
first cannibal goes - "slow down, you're eating too fast"
The dirty bastard.
Luckily, I was up practicing my drums at the time..
I told him four wheels, a seat and an engine
He was rushed to hospital with a hairline fracture
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don’t.
He's all right now.
I guess it's cheaper than a gym membership.
Last night my dad fell down the stairs and broke his hip. Mom took him to the ER and I met them there. The nurse comes in to ask what happen and my dad explained he tripped going up the stairs. Nurse tries to joke that “stairs are jinky fellas always trying to trip people” to which I relied “yup, can’t trust ‘um, they are always up to something”.
-mic drop
Barman says, sorry we don't serve rashers in here.
I asked him what chemical it was.
"Caffeine" was his reply.
It was only polite to apologize for my inquisitiveness: It would have kept me up all night trying to work it out.
