She couldnβt see that well.
I said I wanted to take more programming classes because I really liked the one I took last year.
My offspring tells me they can't take any computer classes.
Confused, I asked why.
"Because I'm non-binary"
True story, happened last night. I have never been so proud.
I guess you can say it's the ultimate Two's Day.
Itβs called β2 Baroque Girlsβ.
It's your own asphalt.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
Because that's your own asphalt.
I know she means well.
...Colby
Because the wizard was a neck-romancer.
Because it will dialogue.
It means my illegal logging business is a success
He re-Poe-ed them.
youβre in Seine!
She just hathaway about her
Now Iβm just dating myself
I guess it's a bunk bed.
He went ice skating before it was cool.
A tractor
They become rain-beaus.
Turns out it had the Keto my heart this whole time
He said, βDoes my girlfriend count?β
I said, βNot sure. If she knows basic math, she should be able to.β
... then my illegal logging operation is a great success.
Theyβd all be a lot more comfortable
which was my 40th birthday. The BIG Four Oh! As in "Oh, you're 40 and not married? What's wrong with you?"
And my friends, as awesome as they are, kept setting me up on blind dates, but I never seemed to click with any of the women. Pretty women, short women, tall women, rough women, successful women, lazy women - I dated them all and more often than not, they just weren't interested in me.
I think I probably went on twenty or so dates that never resulted in a a single follow up date.
But two months before my birthday, I started dating two women and both fledgling relationships seemed like they were going somewhere as they were getting really, really serious. I couldn't choose one, but I didn't care. I just couldn't believe they were into me. Okay, maybe they weren't the best looking, but I was so desperate for a wife, and I'm definitely no prize myself.
With a few weeks to go before my birthday, I knew I had to act if I had any hope of being married. I bought two rings and proposed to them both (on separate nights, of course) and they both said no. In fact, though they never knew of each other, I went from two good things to both of them not returning my calls. I guess proposing in a mall food court (for Jenny) or down on my knees in front of the bathroom at a minor league baseball game (Susan) were not my best laid plans, doomed to fail. Or maybe I just reeked of desperation.
So the morning of my birthday, I was practically in tears, deep in depression as I knew I missed my deadline. But my friends came though, kind of. They took me out bar hopping and then we all went back to my place where they had a stripper waiting in my favorite chair. She got up, sat me down, and gave me a grinding lap dance. She said nothing, but after a minute, stopped, turned around, looked me in the eye and said "one." Then she started up again, stopped after a minute, turned around and said "two..."
This went on all night until she got to "forty."
It's been a few months now, and I'm not too sad. My friends really tried to get me married, and after two near mrs, I guess it was the thot that counts.
I was raking it in.
It was called the Fault in our Lines.
I donβt know what it is. I think my heart just is panakin.
In-fact-tuated
An AXEIDENT
Repete
What can I say, Iβm a hopeless romaintic
An open relationship
Because he canβt see that well!
Because he couldnβt see that well!
Because he didnβt see that well.
Because he couldn't see that well!
Because he couldnβt see that well
He couldnβt see that well
Because he couldn't see that well!
Because he couldnβt see that well
She didn't see that well.
Because he could not see that well.
Because he couldnβt see that well.
Because he couldn't see that well
He couldnβt see that well
Because he couldnβt see that well
