What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?

Phil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rumblebully
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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Did you know Bruce Lee has a faster older brother?

Sudden Lee

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
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DAD JOKES ARE NOT DIRTY.

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Von_Bostaph
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
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Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand?

Because a toothbrush works better

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ravenhiss
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2021
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I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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Caught my son chewing on electrical wires....

Had to ground him until he could conduct himself properly.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2021
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Pulled a Dad Joke on a Nurse

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rei_920
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2021
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What’s the difference between an Indian restaurant and a Vietnamese restaurant?

Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WVU_Benjisaur
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2021
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Anyone who can spell the word drawer backwards...

..... Will get a reward.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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I'd ruther not say
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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Why are elevator jokes so good

Because they work on many levels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Fox1984
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2021
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Rational
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mainhoonmadrasi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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Who were the greenest Presidents in US history?

The Bushes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caverypca
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2021
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Looking forward to the Fibonacci convention this year, it's supposed to be really special..

..and as big as the last two put together.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2021
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When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text.

I want to talk about my father and the wonderful influence he has had on my life,' he told the audience. 'He is a shining example of parenthood, and I love him more than words could ever do justice.'

At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, 'Sorry, but it's really hard to read my father’s handwriting.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2021
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Interviewer : why should we hire you as a waiter?

Me : For starters, I bring a lot to the table

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Motor_Fox_9541
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2021
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My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play at that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zayan-ali
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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Thankfully
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elisioth4739
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2021
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Argon enters a bar, the bartender says β€œWe don’t serve noble gases here.”

Argon does not react.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dick_Squeakly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2021
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If Apple made a car what would it be missing?

Windows

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moplex1234
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
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There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jzagri
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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Just saw on the internet
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PN341720
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2021
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Be nice
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlazedApex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2021
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