A guy walked into a bar in New Orleans and ordered a Corona Extra and two Hurricanes.
The bartender said "that'll be $20.20"
The delivery guy accidentally got us 3 extra bags of flour
Why do bakers always carry extra cash?
Because they never know when a bit of extra dough might be kneaded!
What do you call an extra thick plant?
When typing a word-play joke, I never put extra spaces on the left.
A tipped my psychic an extra $20.00 the other day...
She was a very happy medium.
I always take an extra pair of socks when I go golfing
In case I get a hole in one
No one laughs at my “bring an extra pair of pants when you go golfing” joke.
I guess “hole-in-one” jokes are sub-par.
To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.
We’ve just had a decorator in to do some work on the house. I got chatting to him and it turns out he is a British Airways pilot who’s been furloughed and earning a bit of extra cash.
He made a lovely job of the landing.
"I always try to go the extra mile for my customers."
Said the city's most hated cab driver.
You gotta be careful getting into tennis, they have you buy a bunch of extra stuff you don’t need...
Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?
This morning I made my hamster an extra strong espresso coffee and crushed some caffeine pills up in his food.
I'd hate for him to fall asleep at the wheel.
Just bought some extra strong mints.
Having a hard time getting them out of the packet.
Which US state is famous for its extra small soft drinks?
We got sent extra bumper plates for weight lifting.
We bought extra toilet paper for the party.
It's for the party poopers.
I have some extra chairs in my garage
for emergency seat-uations.
Puns for my extra credit in English
Hello, if you could please make a funny pun so I could get extra credit for the title of my essay, that would be great.
Topic: Pursuit of Knowledge- Frankenstein.
I bribed my friends into helping me move by buying an extra large stuffed crust pepperoni...
I had $1,000 extra in my pay last month, this month I was $1,000 short. When I reported it to payroll they asked me why I didn't say anything when I got paid too much.
I told them, I'll tolerate one mistake but not two.
What does the angel put in his salsa for extra spice?
I knew a guy who wore a hat with an extra long bill. He said it was to protect his nose from the sun. I asked him why is that?
He said....
No one likes a brown nose.
An aspiring beekeeper went to a farmer’s market to pick up a small hive. They placed an order for a dozen bees. When picking up the bees, the seller handed them a case of thirteen bees. Noticing the extra bee, the keeper pointed it out to the seller.
The seller said, “Oh, that last one is a freebee!”
Why did the vulture get charged extra on the airplane?
He had an excessive amount of carrion luggage.
It's always a great idea for golfers to bring an extra pair of pants when going golfing...
Just incase they get a hole in one.
Why did the farmer mistakenly work extra hard to keep barley and wheat away from his prized ox?
The vet had recently diagnosed him with silly yak disease.
Ted the eagle was joking with his friend, Manny, who has an extra foot.
"You are a bird of Manny talons", said Ted. Manny responded, "I really think that you are two talon Ted".
My wife insists that she deserves an extra present this Mothers' day since she is the mum of our pet dog.
I’ve always been super confused as to why my dad always brings an extra pair of socks to the golf course.
According to him, it’s in case he gets a hole in one.
How does virgin olive oil become extra virgin olive oil?
After getting dating advice from a Redditor.
cant believe they fired me from the clock factory... with all those extra hours I put in...
What's an extra-terrestrial's favorite food?
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
If you don't think The Big Bang Theory is funny, make sure to buy the dvd and watch the extras.
Everyone knows the real jokes are always in the commentary.
I was washing my dishes and my wife asked if I could wash some extras that she put there.
I'm avoiding it by fleeing to a non-extradish'n country.
This made me chuckle. I always say as long as my legs are spry and my brain is working, I can pick up extra shifts.
I always keep an extra bag of tortilla chips in the kitchen.
You know. In queso emergency.
A man I know brings cheese from home to put on his fast food burgers instead of paying extra.
He's a pretty Krafty guy.
it was about a game set in space so it made it extra funney
Care for some gum? I have extra.
An easy way to earn some extra money this summer
Dad: [points at trees] “See those trees?
Kid: “yeah?”
Dad: “How much will you give me if I take off my shoes and jump over them?”
Kid: [looking up at trees] “There’s no way! A billion dollars!!!”
Dad: [takes off shoes, puts them on the ground in front of him, jumps over shoes] “Pay up!”
EVA stands for Extra Vehicular Activity
My daughter asked if she could grate extra cheese on top of my pizza.
In really cold weather climates, it's always a good idea to have an extra set of gloves on hand
I went for chinese food the other day, they got my order wrong and forgot my dumplings, but I got extra wontons for free.
You dim sum, you lose some.
My kids are running the mile today in school. I told them to pack extra pairs of socks and shoes.
Because that's a lot of feet
A bee farmer found his bees working extra hard producing honey for him.
He thought it was really sweet.
My friend asked why I brought an extra sock when we went golfing
It's just in case I get a hole in one.
Two friends are out shopping. One says, “Man there are ALOT of extra small clothes here...” and the other says “I know right, there’s an XS!” (excess)
I just came up w it today and I’m proud of it ok bye
Truck drivers go the extra mile
when they miss the last exit.
Did you hear Santa is becoming an Uber driver to make extra money?
What do you call an extra terrestrial fingertip?
I was listening to some inspirational CDs in the car. They kept telling me to go the extra mile.
So I did, and I got lost.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Why was the orange upset on the doube date when the apple showed up with only one extra fruit?
He said he was bringing a pear.
Got the girlfriend again (with extra-groan for Easter relevance)
A couple of nights ago my girlfriend and I spotted a white jackrabbit in the field near our house. We noticed one again tonight on our drive home:
Girlfriend: Hey look, it's the Easter bunny.
Me: Huh, pretty sure that's the same jackrabbit from the other night.
Girlfriend: Can't be a jackrabbit, its ears are way too small.
Me: We're clearly just splitting hares here, babe.
It took a second, but she responded with the desired groan and the "you're an idiot" face push-away. Victory.
Daughter: Dad they brought extra fortune cookies
An extra pint or two can't hurt. ;)
At work, I keep extra cough drops in my desk for anyone that needs it.
I guess I’m the halls monitor.
Just a reminder for everyone to plan ahead and allow for extra time tomorrow
The internet is going to have more traffic than usual
In local news, a golfer brought an extra pair of socks to the field today
Just in case he got a hole-in-one
If you go clubbing tonight you get an extra hour
The whole class got extra homework because the loud people in the class were talking.
The quiet people suffered in silence.
The first time I saw a person with an extra thumb, I was horrified.
When I order extra bread with my Indian Food...
Wanted to make an extra cheesy Valentine for my SO who hates commercial holidays but loves puns.
"I camembert if I’ve told you today, but just in queso I haven’t, you're looking sharp! I havarti accepted you stilton love “cheesy” holidays, but ricotta think things can only get feta with a little roman(ce)o. It colby just me, but I swiss you very much when we’re apart. It’s cheddar when we’re together because then I don’t feel provolone. I think we go gouda together, and I want to grow mold with you. Wheel you brie my valentine?"
How does the dad recommend extra drum practice?
There will be repercussions.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!!
Why should you be extra careful handling duck eggs?
They're prone to quacking.
After jumpstarting my friend's car, I told him there'd be no extra charge.
After jumpstarting my friend's car, I removed the cables and said there'd be no extra charge.
Whenever I go golfing, I bring an extra pair of pants
Just in case I get a hole in one
Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?
Just in case you get a hole in one.
Why did the golfer have an extra pair of socks.
Incase he got a hole in one!
Why did the golfer bring an extra sock ?
Incase he got a hole in one .
Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?
Just in case you get a hole in one.
Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?
Just in case you get a hole in one.
Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?
Just in case you get a hole in one.
To make extra money, my university professor makes all his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.
Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?
Just in case you get a hole in one.
TIL that Tiger Woods always brings an extra sock with him to his golf tournaments.
Just in case he gets a hole in one.
Why did the golfer take an extra pair of socks?
Just in case he got a hole in one
Whenever I go golfing I always bring extra socks
In case I get a hole in one
I always bring an extra pair of socks when I'm golfing
In case I get a hole in one
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks to the field?
In case he got a hole-in-one
Why did the golfer bring and extra pair of socks to practice?
In case he got a hole in one..
Why do golfers carry extra outfits?
For when they get a hole in one!
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