A Raichu
...I said Pgigadactyls.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
Their P was silent.
Patreon
I told her thats dirt cheap
It just happened. I'm evolving
Once upon a time there were numerous tribes in a jungle. Each tribe struggled to survive, and over time and as skills evolved, tribes began to trade goods with each other. One tribe learned the skills of architecture, and traded designs for safe grass houses with neighboring tribes for other necessities, such as food. Over time, the tribe grew quite rich, and without the need for goods the chief of the tribe demanded payment in the form of a tribute, an ornate throne. Over time the number of thrones the chief owned grew more and more numerous, so he had a great multi-story grass house built to store all of his thrones. One day, the weight of the thrones became so much the house collapsed, killing the chief. The moral of the story is… wait for it…
He who lives in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.
To celebrate the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin, the scientific community joined together for a party. As is common at such gatherings, the Biologists began to argue about what species was the most suited to its environment. Finally after much heated debate, a group of scientists pledged to spend the rest of the year exhaustively researching the Biological record to once and for all determine which creature was the ultimate example of adaptivity and proficiency ever to live.
Yesterday, the results were announced at the National Academy of Sciences. The creature identified as the most adaptive and proficient in Earth's history was a previously unknown animal from the Mesozoic era, a water dwelling insect that thrived for a hundred million years.
It was ... a FishAnt
They think they're evolving into frisbees.
He said " Roof tiles"
Because chickens haven’t evolved yet.
In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" 😂🤣
If they had 4 it would be a chicken sedan.
We all know that pokemon evolve after being trained for a while. There is a little known fact that some Pokémon evolve into different Pokémon based on how you raise them.
For example,did you know if you raise a pikachu badly it evolves into a nasty little Pokémon called pissed-at-chu!!
A sub-woofer
Thanks for sorting by new you are doing a great job :)
Whale mammaling...
A child asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
It’s evolving.
Her: why do men have nipples they can't use them Me: well I guess a chest without nipples is just pointless. Her: a long sigh Me: starts running around laughing
... is reliving the same day over and over in "Bourne Again"
... travels to the past to stop a terrorist attack in "Bourne yesterday"
... finally settles down and has a baby in "New Bourne"
... de-evolves into a feral beast who prowls the wilderness in "Bourne to be Wild"
Firstly, I think they really missed a trick naming these films.
Secondly... I know there are more of these...
a friend of mine owns a cafe and is starting to sell homemade Chorizo sandwiches, need a good pun to write on a sign at front of shop, thought I'd turn to the creative minds of r/puns for help! winner gets a month of gold go go go!
A sweat suit
(My mom told this to me not even 5 minutes ago; I think they're evolving)
I guess you could call me a faux pa
My SO got me tonight as follows:
Me: We have too much to carry. If only people had evolved four arms. Wouldn't that be cool?
Her (with shit-eating grin): We do have forearms...
She then proceeds to display her arm to me Vanna-White-style.
Sitting around the table in a local restaurant the other night, I finally evolved to my final form.
My daughter, 5, kept dropping her garlic rolls on the floor and was getting really upset. I asked her if she was on fire, and the look from my wife told me that she knew what was coming. My two teenaged sons looked at me with the faces that I've seen a thousand times, yet never get tired of seeing.
"Sweetheart, are you on fire?"
"No, daddy."
"Well, I thought you were, because you can't stop drop'n rolls."
I got all rewards from this one. Groans, eye rolls, and of course I cracked myself up.
She was playing a facebook game that involves evolving and leveling up dragons and complained that she wasn't getting a good score.
Me: "Maybe you need to train your dragon..." Daughter: "How do I Train my dragons?" Me: "There's a movie all about it on Netflix" Daughter: <....Disgusted>
Daughter to my son: "What do you get when you evolve a Mankey?"
Me: "An old-mankey."
A couple friends and I were eating and had been talking about the history of ethnic cleansing in Bosnia.
Friend: Wow, were actually having a real grown-up conversation.
The conversation progressed on and eventually evolved into an inappropriate discussion on our pooping schedules.
Friend: So much for our adult conversation.
Me: Ya it totally went down the toilet.
Have you heard the newly evolved form of Ebola? It's much more dangerous. . . It's called Eplata
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
