Have you heard about the evil group of men who control all the world’s cheese?

The hallouminati

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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Why is North Korea so evil?

Because they have no Seoul.

Edit: Thanks for the support and for my first award everyone! I can’t take credit for the joke itself as a friend who passed a number of years made it up in high school, but I’m sure he’d be ecstatic to see the number of updoots and laughter it’s brought.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fourchubio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Did you know Hannibal Lecter has a brother who’s even more evil and sadistic?

His name is Bilka... Bilka Lecter.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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What do you call a waffle's evil twin?

Its alter Eggo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/motobuddha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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What’s an evil hand’s favourite sport?

Bad Mitten

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kill_Them_Back
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Only people sorting by new can see this gem. (Evil laugh)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnsteadyKoala
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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Why are adults evil?

Because 18 is three sixes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Cats are evil

But a dog will consume your sole

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shredbmc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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As the evil nano-bots swarmed the superhero’s wrist-based time piece, he exclaimed...

Not on my watch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RAClef
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Only a little evil
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MadsPostingStuff
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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My wife sees Satan every weekend for evil lessons.

I have no idea how much she charges.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadeauxmarie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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The Evil Queen was great at growing poisoned apples.

She was, however, terrible at cultivating evil pluots.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGreatJava
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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My evil clone is trying to attack me.

But I probably shouldn’t beat myself up over it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I told my kids, "Did you know Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts and his name was…"

…Frank!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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My friend called me in a panic and shouted, β€œAn evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...

...he’s really a big lyre.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flamingkitten101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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What kind of eggs does an evil hen lay?

Deviled eggs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aderhold22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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A sage once set himself on fire to cleanse the monastery of evil smells. [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ButterKnifeComics
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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Fluffy camels are evil in Pakistan’s capital. I know what your asking...

Is llama bad?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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I heard people are blaming imaginary evil spirits for Micheal Jackson's death.

Guess they're blaming it on the boogie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aniketraghav7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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The evil queens mirror as been stolen.

Police are looking in to it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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If number 666 is evil,

then 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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I overheard my USB drive plotting to do evil things to me ever since I unplugged it improperly from a computer.

It has become very corrupt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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I made a discovery in my attic that my evil house is plotting against me...

I discovered the floor plans!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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Wallace and gromit have released a new evil.

The cheese and krackern

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OttoTheGeezer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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Glycine was known for its evil ways.

It was amino acid.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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What do evil nuns all have in common?

Bad habits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MakeMeADonut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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Ash won’t be in EVIL dead 4! Know what I’m feeling?

It needs more Campbell!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Where do evil mathematicians go?

Prism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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What do you call an evil anteater?

Ardth Varker

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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What do you call evil fabric? Satin
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QwerkyKeyboard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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What do you call an evil potato?

A dick tater.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshuaFnBoyer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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Why were people in the middle ages so medival and when did people advance from being mid-evil to advanced-evil?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tflightz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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Did you hear about the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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How long has Anakin been evil?

Since the sith grade

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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Sure Apple and Monsanto are evil...

But the shadiest companies manufacture blinds and curtains.

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πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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An evil proctologist would be a pain in the ass.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueStonerT
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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My dad made the dadliest of jokes.

We were watching die hard 4 and we got to the bit where the evil hacker guy shoots most of the people he was working with. I was a bit confused so I said,” hang on, weren’t they working for him?” My dad then proceeded to say,”not any more. They just got fired.” It was such a bad joke but definitely a great dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nessmainsarescum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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Where does the evil calculator go when he dies?

1134

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bach563
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Jazz music is evil.

It promotes sax and violins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoviQ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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An evil wizard..

There was an evil wizard who hated mathematics. One day he decided that he would end math once and for all, by capturing the 10 digits, and locking the away forever in his secret prison. So he cast his spell, and all the digits, from 0 to 9 were under his influence. He put them in his magic sack and rode off to the prison. When he reached the prison, he opened the sack. To his horror, there were not 10, but 9 digits there. After searching thoroughly he realized that...it was the 1 that got away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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Few people know that Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts.

His name was Frank.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
if 666 is all evil

then 25.8069758 is the root of all evil

πŸ‘︎ 497
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benjidabest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother who was an evil scientist

His name was Frank Enstein

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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