Ethel Hays Puns

George Washington

step children by wife Martha Washington, raised by the Washingtons

John Parke Custis (nn Jackie) November 27, 1754 – November 5, 1781

Martha Parke Custis (nn Patsy) 1756 – June 19, 1773

step grandchildren by John Parke Custis, raised by the Washingtons

Elizabeth Parke Custis (nn Eliza) August 21, 1776 – December 31, 1831

Martha Parke Custis (nn Patsy) December 31, 1777 – July 13, 1854

Eleanor Parke Custis (nn Nelly) March 31, 1779 – July 15, 1852

George Washington Parke Custis (nn Wash) April 30, 1781 – October 10, 1857

John Adams

with wife Abigail Adams

Abigail Adams (nn Nabby or Amelia) July 14, 1765 – August 15, 1813

John Quincy Adams July 11, 1767 – February 23, 1848

Grace Susanna Adams (nn Suky) December 28, 1768 – February 4, 1770

Charles Adams May 29, 1770 – November 30, 1800

Thomas Boylston Adams September 15, 1772 – March 13, 1832

Elizabeth Adams stillborn July 11, 1777

Thomas Jefferson

with wife Martha Jefferson

Martha Jefferson (nn Patsy) September 27, 1772 – October 10, 1836

Jane Randolph Jefferson April 3, 1774 – September 1775

unnamed son May 28 – June 14, 1777

Mary Jefferson (nn Polly or Maria) August 1, 1778 – April 17, 1804

Lucy Elizabeth Jefferson (I) November 30, 1780 – April 15, 1781

Lucy Elizabeth Jefferson (II) May 8, 1782 – ca. October 13, 1784

with slave Sally Hemings

Thomas Jefferson Hemings (nn Tom) 1790 – 1879

Harriet Hemings (I) October 5, 1795 – December 7, 1797

Edy Hemings born and died 1796

William Beverly Hemings April 1, 1798 – 1873

Thenia Hemings December 7, 1799 – ca. 1802

Harriet Hemings (II) May 22, 1801 – 1863

James Madison Hemings January 18, 1805 – November 26, 1877

Eston Hemings May 21, 1808 – January 3, 1856

James Madison

stepson by wife Dolley Madison, raised by the Madisons

John Payne Todd February 29, 1792 – January 16, 1852

James Monroe

with wife Elizabeth Monroe

Elizabeth Kortright Monroe December 1786 – January 27, 1840

James Spence Monroe May 1799 – September 28, 1800

Maria Hester Monroe May 20, 1803 – 1850

John Quincy Adams

with wife Louisa Adams

George Washington Adams April 12, 1801 – April 30, 1829

John Adams II July 4, 1803 – October 23, 1834

unnamed son stillborn June 29, 1806

Charles Francis Adams August 18, 1807 – November 21, 1886

Andrew Jackson

*adopted son, biological son of wife Rachel Jackson’s

1896

Men's team:

• Gardner Boyd Williams

1900

Men's team:

• Frederick "Fred" Hendschel

1904

Men's team:

• Amedee Valle Reyburn Jr.
• Charles Meldrum "Charlie" Daniels
• David Hesser
• David Hey Bratton
• David Thomas Gaul Sr.
• David Thurwell Hammond
• Edgar Holmes Adams
• Edward John Meyers
• Edwin Paul Swatek
• Francis "Frank" Gailey
• George Van Cleaf
• Gwynne Evans
• Henry Jamison "Jam" Handy
• Hugo Louis Goetz
• John Scott Leary
• Joseph Aloysius "Joe" Ruddy Sr.
• Leo Joseph "Budd" Goodwin
• Louis de Breda "Lou" Handley
• Marquard Schwartz
• Raymond Comstock "Ray" Thorne
• William Jeremiah "Bill" Tuttle
• William Robert "Bill" Othwein

1906 (Intercalated Games - not official, but still a part of Olympic history)

Men's team:

• Charles Meldrum "Charlie" Daniels
• Frank Alexander Bornamann
• Joseph Whittelsey Spencer
• Marquard Schwarz

1908

Men's team:

• Augustus Michael "Gus" Goessling
• Charles Meldrum "Charlie" Daniels
• Conrad Daniel Trubenbach
• Harry Joseph Hebner
• James Burgess Greene
• Leo Joseph "Budd" Goodwin
• Leslie George Rich
• Robert Bagley Foster

1912

Men's team:

• Duke Paoa Kahino Makoe Hulikohoa Kahanamoku
• Harry Joseph Hebner
• James Herbert "Jim" Reilly
• Kenneth Arthur "Ken" Huszagh
• Michael James "Mike" McDermott
• Nicholas Thomas "Nick" Nerich
• Perry McGillivray

1920

Men's team:

• Charles Fenton Mercer Spotswood Quinby
• Duke Paoa Kahino Makoe Hulikohoa Kahanamoku
• Eugene Thomas Bolden
• Frederick "Fred" Kahele
• George Herbert Taylor
• Harold Herman "Stubby" Kruger
• Jackson Zophar "Jack" Howell
• Ludwig Ernest "Ludy" Langer
• Michael James "Mike" McDermott
• Norman DeMille Ross
• Perry McGillivray
• Pua Kele Kealoha
• Ray Kegeris
• Warren Daniels Kealoha
• William White "Bill" Harris Jr.

Women's team:

• Charlotte Duggan Boyle
• Eleanor Marie Uhl
• Ethelda Marguerite Bleibtrey
• Frances Cowells Schroth
• Irene May Guest
• Margaret Darling Woodbridge

1924

Men's team:

• Adam Wyman Smith
• Duke Paoa Kahino Makoe Hulikohoa Kahanamoku
• Harrison Smith "Harry" Glancy
• Henry Luning
• James Wallace "Wally" O'Connor
• Lester Edward Smith
• Paul Henry Wyatt
• Peter Johann "Johnny" Weissmuller
• Ralph Theodore Breyer
• Richard John "Dick" Howell
• Robert Danforth "Bob" Skelton
• Samuel Alapai "Sam" Kahanamoku
• Warren Daniels Kealoha
• William Thomas "Bill" Kirschbaum

Women's team:

• Agnes Geraghty
• Aileen Muriel Riggin
• Eleanor Coleman
• Ethel Minnie Lackie
• Euphrasia Louise "Fraze"•Donnelly
• Florence Cha

Phil

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

Well, toucan play at that game.

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

second hand stores!

it's Hans free now..

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

That was the punchline

Japan.

Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"

I did not know.

So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"

So proud.

Female

• Abigail Lewis
• Ada Clay/Ada Elizabeth
• Addie Jackson
• Alice Beatrice/Alice Havens/Alice Hicks/Alice Hunter/Alice Mae/Alice McIver/Alice Lilllou/Alice Louise/Alice Whitted
• Alida Lee
• Alma Doris/Alma Evelyn
• Anna Belle/Anna Mae/Anna Madeleine
• Annie Clara/Annie Dell/Annie Earle/Annie Elaine/Annie Esther/Annie Jane/Annie Laura/Annie Laurie/Annie Lee/Annie Leigh/Annie Morris/Annie Pearl/Annie Rosamond/Annie Sue
• Apryl Joyce
• Aubrey Annette
• Bernice Elizabeth/Bernice Louise
• Bertha Pearl
• Bessie Florida
• Betsy Ann
• Bettie Cooper/Bettie Marie/Bettie Ruth
• Betty Ann
• Birdie Lee
• Blanche Harper
• Bobbie Blackwell
• Bonnie Mae
• Bunnie Elizabeth
• Carolyn White
• Carrie Congleton
• Carrie Moore
• Catherine Elizabeth/Catherine Robason
• Clara Belle/Clara Mac/Clara Vann
• Claudia Dare
• Cora Evelyn/Cora Lee
• Cullie Elizabeth
• Daisy Belle
• Della Claire/Della Doris/Della Grace
• Doris Mae
• Dorothy Carr/Dorothy Madge/Dorothy Parks/Dorothy Voight
• Edith Eloise
• Edith Randolph/Edith Smith/Edith Tull
• Edna Carr/Edna Claire/Edna Earle/Edna Gertrude/Edna Lee/Edna Marie/Edna May/Edna Ried/Edna Thomas
• Effie Lee/Effie Moore
• Elba Louise
• Eleanor Ruth
• Eleanore Winifred
• Eliza LaRue
• Elizabeth Boykin/Elizabeth Dixon/Elizabeth Herring/Elizabeth Lavinia/Elizabeth Marcelle/Elizabeth Olandah/Elizabeth Relfe/Elizabeth Virginia/Elizabeth Whichard
• Ella Bonner/Ella Dill/Ella Lee/Ella Mamie/Ella Turner
• Ellen Douglas
• Ellie Estaline
• Eloise Curtis
• Elsie Ellen
• Elva DeLorese/Elva Lois
• Elysabeth Harris
• Emily Burt/Emily Green
• Emma Avent/Emma Elizabeth/Emma Jean/Emma Lee/Emma Viola
• Emmie Cobb
• Essie Mae
• Estelle Stanton
• Ester Mae
• Esther Mae
• Ethel Freeman/Ethel James/Ethel Louise/Ethel Mae/Ethel Millington/Ethel Rozamia
• Eula Mae
• Eunice Felton/Eunice Mae
• Evelyn Dixon/Evelyn Eleanor/Evelyn Frederick/Evelyn Hope/Evelyn Lillian
• Fannie Latham
• Ferry Lane
• Flora Lee/Flora McIver
• Florence Allen/Florence Electa/Florence Estelle
• Frances Belle/Frances Blair/Frances Carolyn/Frances James/Frances Louise/Frances Pullman/Frances Robena
• Geneva Louise
• Georgie Weeks
• Grace Elizabeth/Grace Lou/Grace Marie
• Hannah Wrae
• Hattie Laura/Hattie Lee/Hattie Mae/Hattie Pearl
• Hazel Louise/Hazel Marie/Hazel Vivian
• Helen Clyde/Helen Forbes/Helen Josephine/Helen Joyce/Helen Lindsay/Helen Lorraine/Helen Louise/Helen Mae/Helen Marjorie/Helen Wilma
• Hilda Beryl/Hilda Gray/Hilda Margaret
• Hortense Clare
• Huldah Elizabeth
• Ida Faye/Id

Feyonce

He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.

He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.

She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up

So far no one has given me a straight answer.

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too