Some guy on a tractor keeps driving past my house shouting, “THE END IS NIGH!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!”
It might be farmer Geddon.
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
I meet guy with a deer on the end of each arm.
We should have known this year was gonna suck. We were never gonna end the year as winners. The writing was on the wall. At the end of the year, we should have known we'd be facing the truth-
Spend your last dollar on a $0.98 lottery ticket and see what you end up with.
That's just my two cents.
Every morning, my neighbour gets on his tractor and starts yelling, “Repent! The End is nigh!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
I've just got some new glasses, and when I first put them on, I could see tiny little people with wings at the end of the garden. I rang my optician to report the problem, but he said it was completely normal with these glasses...
Can the coronavirus survive on Mars if it ends up on a SpaceX rocket ?
"a lone mask" wants to know !
UPS says my book on evergreen herbs from the mint family lamiaceae is going to be delivered tomorrow by end of day.
I heard someone played Animal Crossing: New Horizons for so long on end they conked out with the console still in their hands.
Looks like someone fell asleep at the Switch.
An italian is sitting at a restaurant table, with pizza on the other end.
"Pastapizza", he says to the waiter.
I dropped an anvil on the end of my foot...
Now I have to call a toe truck.
Will the quarantine end on April 30th?
A bloke on a tractor just drove past and shouted “the end of the world is nigh”
I think it was farmer geddon
It’s the end of work on Friday, it’s been a long week, and all my bones are just like the capital city of the Holy Roman Empire.
I was on the receiving end of the dad joke today.
I lost my phone and asked my dad if he could call it and his response was to yell “lolabean’s phone!” and then laugh hysterically and ask for a high five
Near the end of my wife's pregnancy she suddenly began yelling out "can't!", "won't!", "shan't!", "mustn't!", and suddenly it dawned on me..
I think she's having contractions!
Why does the Sun insist on going down at the end of the day?
My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.
Cocaine is no joke I'm at the end of the line on this one
A cemetery on the end of a road is literally a dead end.
People are just dying to get in it seems.
On Endor, how does a gentleman end a fight?
Why does the story end when you find out there is a secret warehouse full of planes on the end of a cliff?
I just had a pun about electricians stripping to make ends meet. I run a pun hashtag on my Facebook. Here are the rest.
imgur.com/gallery/dkYzW
What do u call a guy with no arms and no legs on the end of a fishing line
Every time I fix something on my bike, something else breaks and I hurt myself. But I always end up riding again.
Every full moon, my son goes outside and stares up at it for hours on end.
I know it's just a phase.
I got a call in the middle of the night, and when I answered, the person on the other end of the line’s teeth were chattering...
Turns out it was a cold caller!
What beverage does someone stock up on when they think the world is going to end?
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."
The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
Every time at the end of a song at band practice I play a note on the highest fret on my guitar.
They always ask me why I do that. I tell them, “We gotta end it on a high note”
I tried to make a pencil with erasers on both ends...
...but then, I realized it was pointless.
Music that ends abruptly ends on a cleffhanger
What's round on the end and hi in the middle?
Pizza chefs who have flour on their face at the end of a long shift...
...call that a 5-o’clock shadough.
What does the fedora rely on to make ends meet?
"My phone is on the end table." I say, "That's a night stand."
"It still works during the day. Is it a day sit when it's not night time?"
A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me yelling "the end of the world nigh!"
I think it was Farmer Geddon.
Every morning, my neighbor gets on his tractor and starts yelling, “The End is nigh!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
Last night, my neighbor got on his tractor and started yelling, “The end is near!!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
A bloke on a tractor has just driven passed me shouting, "The end of the world is nigh."
I think it was Farmer Geddon!
Every morning, my neighbour gets on his tractor and starts yelling, “The End is Nigh!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
Every morning, my neighbor gets on his tractor and starts yelling, “The End is Near!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
