Elephant goad Puns

I have been thinking of Autumn for the last week. It is an earthen tone that has come to color my experiences with several Zen passages I've been reading. It got associated with the word 'spear' briefly along the way—from this quote in a passage I'm studying in order to make an OP on later:

> Guanghui Lian said, “Goading an elephant, he turns the spear around.” (T👁✅T: Vol 1, 279; T. Cleary

—as well as from an earlier post where I traded my [Shake]spear[e] for a staff.

That one began a series of posts I've been making on Yunmen. So far it has covered Wild Fox Spirits, Staffs, Wrestling, Native Places, Lions, Monkeys, and Moons. (Among other divers Zen subjects.) Several of these themes intersected for me today.

But suddenly Autumnal now, and the other Zen thread I have been studying—the Cypress tree in the courtyard—is asking me to cycle from Autumn spear to staff to tree to wind very quickly, as I proceed through the weather and posts.

Here is the passage from Yunmen that these thoughts are pointing to:

>95

>Someone asked Master Yunmen, “What is it like when the tree has withered and the leaves fallen?"^148

>The Master said, “That’s wholly manifest: golden autumn wind.”

148

Zen Master Yunmen Urs App

I liked Urs App's note here (they can be hit or miss, especially when it comes to his understanding of Yunmen at times) for the development of the tree image. Look what I found when I looked up Red Pine's translation in his edition of Han Shan's poems:

>A tree grew here before the grove
its age is twice as great
the shifting earth has gnarled its roots
wind and frost have parched its leaves
people scorn its withered outside
no one sees its fine-grained heart
but when its bark is stripped away
what remains is real

This had a more interesting tone than the version in Urs App's note, I thought. Exchange grove for courtyard, and we are back where we started.

Speaking of courtyard—there really has been a lot of wrestling out there, hasn't there? Bodhisattva-on-bodhisattva violence? Lions roaring like cats begging for the sword? Also some rustling just outside the gate, if ear serves me right. (It's not the thievery that's a problem—just the sound of horses.) On top of all that sutra chanting, echoing off the green rooftiles of the b

Link here, text below 👇

Hey Adventurers,

Since launch, the team has been working hard to gather, investigate, and address issues surfaced by our players. We know how much our players care, and we resolve to be more transparent and communicate more frequently about how we’re addressing issues.

To begin, we want to provide an update on issues we believe are most critical to our community.

Character Transfers

It is important to us that everyone have the opportunity to choose which server they are playing on. By the time you are reading this, character transfers will have been re-enabled and most players should be able to move their characters. If you have questions about transfers, please visit our FAQ post here. We are committed to making sure our community is satisfied with where they are playing long term. We will continue to monitor your feedback after this wave of Character Transfers is complete and offer additional Transfers if needed. We are also working on region-to-region Character Transfers, but it is difficult to solve and will take time.

Full Server Status

In an effort to ensure that folks actively playing characters on a server are not competing in queue with new players, we have implemented a Full Server Status to prevent new characters from being created. We monitor the active users on each world and ensure that the Full Server Status continues to be accurate. We understand this may mean that new players are not able to play with their established friends and that some worlds are not receiving the volume of new players that others servers may, and this can have a variety of impacts. We continue to monitor this situation and will make real-time adjustments accordingly, as well as provide a 24 hour notice before a server is marked as full.

Economy and Deflation

We have seen a lot of feedback on the game’s economy and wanted to share a recent update we posted in the forums.

First, we want to start with our goals. We want a player driven economy with minimal NPC interaction where gold is valuable to all players, even end-game players.

Touching on the current state of the economy: From a data standpoint, the economy is performing within acceptable levels. All servers are creating more money than is being removed, and by a good margin. However, the economy is tighter at the end-game currently

Tyson had never heard a louder crowd in his career. It struck his locker room like an earthquake, the muffled screaming of over a million life forms from all across the galaxy, vibrating through the stadium and matching his rapidly beating heart, to the point where Tyson feared the building might collapse from the tremors at any point.

And none of them were cheering for him.

Tyson didn’t let it bother him, though. He signed up for this match knowing full-well the crowd wouldn’t care about him. After all, nobody in the galaxy believed a human could win this bout.

When Earth first received news of alien life, everyone predicted a myriad of things that could arise from cultural exchange. Advances in medicine, engineering, and art were considered inevitable, dazzling any forward-thinking individuals with all the possibilities.

Wrestling, however, was the last thing on anyone’s mind. Very few people on Earth thought the sport would survive the next decade, let alone it becoming the thing that made humanity stand out. This came as a shock to many, but it really shouldn’t have surprised anyone.

People, regardless of their species, always love a good fight.

No one knew this better than Vincent McMiller, the oldest living human. He had been in the wrestling business for over two-hundred years now, kept alive by mechanical augments, intense daily exercises, and ruthless aggression in every facet of life. As soon as the Galactic Federation made contact with humanity, McMiller only had one goal in mind: to expand his wrestling empire beyond the confines of the solar system.

Unfortunately, his first attempt at promoting this event was met by widespread ridicule, especially on Earth. Humans just weren’t considered suited for wrestling by the galactic community; not when compared to some of the other species that were practically built for fighting. One culture in particular, the Bhul'ee, had a complete monopoly on combat sports due to this very reason. The average height of their athletes towered over most folk, some being close to eight feet tall, and they all had four muscular arms, each with hands strong enough to crush a person’s skull.

McMiller, of course, took it upon himself to goad the Bhul’ees into a fight, which was easy considering how prideful they tended to be. He didn’t care that it made the rest of humanity look like obnoxious idiots. In fact, he counted on it. The only thing that mattered to him was that, regardless of the result, aliens th

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Zirrilit was not untrained, indeed she had in fact spent her entire life preparing for conflict.

Strength training exercises, constantly working to ensure she ate enough to maintain her size, and sparring in a much more violent way than any normal person would survive. Not stopping until either she or her opponent was physically unable to continue.

And as it turned out, that was all meaningless. There was no point in any of that because she got taken to another dimension where anyone could go to a store and buy something that let them exceed what should have been their body’s limit.

She had been bigger, she had been larger than the ordinary dragonoids here, but martial ability didn’t account for much when you could pay a psionic to implant something like that into your head anyway.

So she needed a boost, something to increase her cultivation ability to what it would have been if she had trained in cultivation since she was five. The way that Mark had learned science or Niko said she trained her racial ability.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Zirrilit? This is an incredibly deadly procedure.”

Zirrilit nodded, Niko was correct, Mark needed the best deathworlder. A proper force to crush everything around him, how could the best deathworlder fail at something like this?

The other dragonoid, her captain, had a full pair of wings and over a full foot of height difference. He simply nodded, sometimes fighters had to take risks to ensure their team could stay safe.

“I have explained the procedure to you before, correct?”

Zirrilit did not hesitate, “Yes sir.”

He tilted his head, “And you still wish to do so?”

“Yes sir.”

The other dragonoid stared at her, “I will need to ensure that you are not mentally affected by anything or being coerced. Please step into my office.”

The dwarf stood there holding a dwarven made phone, it was far superior to anything any other species could make.

It was a small block, black in color and roughly the size of a deck of cards, made of metal.

Unlike a human phone which seemed to be an unholy fusion of a calculator, dictionary, game device, communicator, and in some cases a bottle opener, this had one duty.

To allow the dwarf to call in when he was having problems.

“Yes I will hold.”

It began playing elevator music, not for his enjoyment but so that he would know if the call was interrupted.

After twenty minutes of him holding the phone to his ear he finally got a response, “This is the homeland help desk, what

I won't be doing that today!

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

This is part 2 of a discussion on the hidden nature of the game of cyvasse. The idea may not be new to some asoiaf readers but I thought it'd be fun to analyze regardless. Cyvasse on the surface might be a game, but it is never just a game, it is a way of practicing political savvy and intuition, gaining information... the outcomes and pieces may even, at times, appear to hint at things yet to come. Part 1 deals with the princesses Myrcella and Arianne and the risk they take in learning the game. Part 2 discusses cyvasse as it relates to Tyrion. Rather than play the game in a straightforward way like the princesses - trying to win as much as they can. Tyrion learns to play the game within the game.... subtly reading his opponent rather than playing the pieces directly.

edit: I... actually didn't realize just how much there was going on with Tyrion and cyvasse so this post runs a bit long... sorry. His plays with Yezzan zo Qaggaz and Brown Ben Plumm may actually need to find their way into a part 3 if those game breakdowns seem interesting enough later, I don't like the posts going too long since it becomes harder to engage the more I do. But its hard to avoid here unfortunately...

==================================

Tyrion Lannister on the Shy Maid

One of Tyrion's first encounters with cyvasse in the books is on the Shy Maid with Haldon Halfmaester, the healer and tutor for Young Griff.

>"Not all of us can be half a maester." Tyrion's hand was cramping. He put his quill aside and flexed his stubby fingers. "Fancy another game of cyvasse?" The Halfmaester always defeated him, but it was a way to pass the time. "This evening. Will you join us for Young Griff's lesson?" "Why not? Someone needs to correct your errors."

The Halfmaester always defeats him? Huh...It seems Tyrion is kind of bad at the game isn't he?He certainly is eager to play though. If cyvasse is a game of political savvy you would think Tyrion would catch on quickly. Strangely though, Tyrion(disguised here as Yollo) always seems to preface the games with gentle inquiries into Haldon and Young Griff's past.... and then later when there are things on the line worth winning for. Well... his luck does seem to have an uncanny habit of changing on the spot.

>Later, when Young Griff went up on deck to help Yandry with the sails and poles, Haldon set up his cyvasse table for their g

Hey r/TheAmazingRace!

I am back (in a timely fashion this time) with my much anticipated thoughts on Australia’s second foray into the world of TAR - TARAUS2! I am beyond excited to get talking about this season, as I know some others (*cough* u/Echerongravitas_3737 *cough*) are as well, so lets do a quick intro and get straight into the meat.

This season was fantastic. I really, really loved it. The cast has a consistent level of quality that we have not seen on any other season of TAR to date, and the route and legs are filled with memorable and entertaining moments and challenges that make watching the season an absolute joy. It really is an all-around fantastic season, and I’m really not going to have too much negative to say about it.

If I would have to give ONE gripe, it’s that I didn’t become personally attached to any contestants like I have with other seasons in the past (Colin/Christie, Teri/Ian, Brook/Claire, Ernie/Cindy, for instance), but that doesn’t take away from the fact that this cast as a whole is the best we have seen so far, and fires on all cylinders.

Disclaimer: I’ve only seen Seasons 1-20, AUS1/2 and Season 30 - so please refrain from spoiling any future seasons! I’m planning on only browsing my posts in the sub, and nothing else, to avoid spoilers. Also, this is my opinion. You are of course, allowed to disagree, but lets keep it civil :)

Thoughts on the cast

So like I said, easily the most consistent and amazing cast we have seen thus far on the show. No other cast has THIS many wins - even seasons I love has arguably half the cast who are duds or irrelevant to the season.

But yeah, this ranking is gonna be tough.

Every contestant brings SOMETHING to the table here. No-one is wasted. And the boot order is one of the more unpredictable ones we have seen on the show thus far - not to mention the winner, that being…

Shane and Andrew

Wow! Who would have seen this win coming? Absolutely NOT me. In fact, I thought Shane/Andrew were destined for a mid game boot because they just could not catch a break when it came to travelling, with them seemingly getting lost in a taxi once per leg. But nonetheless, they persevered and WON THE DAMN SEASON.

Going into the finale, I was convinced Michelle/Jo were our winners. There was NO way Paul wins with his edit - I accurately predicted a second place finish for them, but Shane/Andrew were never even on my radar to win.

And yet, they are somehow perfect to win this seas

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "