Auxiliary Character Name: Ser Edmund Lychester

Starting Title: Marshal of Riverrun

Age: 28

Appearance: A dark, gaunt man of sharp features and blue eyes

Starting Location: Riverrun

Attribute: Imperious

Skill Points: 14

Skills: Siegecraft (MAR) Marshalling (MAR) Weapon proficiency: (Swords, Shields)

Biography: Edmund was born the son of Ser Clarence Lychester in the year 171 A.C and would grow up as a cousin to the main line of House Bracken's bannermen. He proved a demure child, prefering not to stand out among his peers, yet despite his humble demeanor and equally humble status within House Lychester, his tutors would attest to Edmund's clear aptitude for warfare. While an average soldier in the yard, his studious, meticulous nature made him well suited for tactics and strategy. His favour with teachers left him few friends at his family's holdfast when coupled with his insular nature. At age 11 he was sent to court at Stone Hedge for some time to acquaint himself with the lieges of his house. While hardly faring any better there at first, Edmund eventually formed a friendship with the young Lady Celia, almost as averse to courtly life as himself. Her frankness would rub off on him, wearing away his formerly quiet self. However the true font of his courage would be a fellow squire, Arthur Nayland.

While he found somewhat of a kindred spirit in Celia, Arthur appeared his opposite in many regards, a warm and gergarious youth who nevertheless became the first to truly overcome all of the numerous barriers Edmund placed between himself and others. The two developed what was equal parts friendship and rivalry. For the first time Edmund set aside all modesty. In Arthur's eyes he wished to be nothing less than a radiant light, the perfect warrior. The ensuing war would give him more opportunities than he’d bargained for, all fraught with peril. He accompanied Lord Bracken’s army to Raventree hall, where he would join the Bracken soldiers over the walls. Despite the brief battle, the comparatively steep casualties gave Edmund an insight into the perils of siege warfare and the early blunders of Lord Bracken’s eventually doomed campaign. Harroway’s Town became his claim to fame, where he rallied m

Discord Name: LordAtTheDesk#6180

Name and House: Edmund Hardyng

Age: 55 (born 325)

Cultural Group: Valeman (Andal)

Appearance: Although greying, the Andal blond hair of his youth is still visible. Beneath a full beard, Edmund’s countenance shows memories of many battles past, his eyes aware and determined.

Gift: Guardian

Skills: Swords, Armoured, Fortifier

Talents: Poetry, Falconry, Protocol

Negative Trait: N/A

Starting Titles: Knight of Hardvale, Master-at-Arms of the Eyrie

Starting Location: With Lord Robert Arryn

Biography

In 325 AC, Edmund Hardyng was born in Hardvale to Ser Wallace Hardyng, the heir to Ser Harrold, and Lady Anya Wydman. He was their first son, and thus one day was set to become the Knight of Hardvale himself. In the years of his infancy, two more children followed for Ser Wallace, a daughter named Rhea and a son named Hubert, while with growing age, Edmund began to receive his education to prepare him as the future master of the castle.

After more general lessons from the Septon and the Maester, in 333 AC, at the age of 8, Edmund left his home in the foothills leading down to the Vale Proper, to the Eyrie, where he had been accepted as a page, to learn to be a knight and nobleman. While he had not neglected his previous training, either, the lessons of swordsmanship and chivalry came to him with particular ease, and as he showed talent as a warrior, at the age of 13, Edmund was taken as a squire for Lord Robert Arryn himself.

Under him he served and learned to wield a sword with great skill, and while it was a peaceful time in that he grew up, overall, at the age of 19, Edmund saw his first battle. Lord Robert Arryn led a force of Knights of the Vale against raiding clansmen to return the Vale to safety, and Edmund rode against them, emboldened by a rousing speech from Lord Arryn. Would he outlive that day, he would ever remember the feats of that battle up until old age - and indeed that was the truth, for Edmund still has not forgotten that battle amidst all the other memories that have faded, and Edmund still often speaks poetically of his experiences. He fought valiantly, slaying some clansmen himself with his sword, and when the fight was won, Lord Robert knighted him on the

Ser Edmund Fossoway of New Barrel

Age: Edmund Fossoway was to Lord Raymun Fossoway and Lady Victaria Florent  in 498 along with his twin sister Elinor Fossoway.

History:

The Fossoway twins were born in New Barrel to the recently wed Ser Raymun Fossoway and Lady Victaria Florent, they were delighted to have produced not one but two heirs in such quick succession.The two were doted on as children by many their parents and a series of Septas. Over their childhood their parents continued trying to have children, but all attempts ended in miscarriages or stillbirths.

The two siblings have always been the closest of companions and the two grew especially close as children because of their father's cold demeanor. Edmund always knew that his father loved him but was always seeking his father's approval.

When Edumn and Elinor were eight they were separated as Edmund was sent to become the squire for Lord Harys Ambrose. While under the care of Lord Ambrose Edmund saw the effect of the blight not ust upon the nobles of the Reach but upon the commoners. He trained and befriended Lord Ambrose's  eldest sons , Nathaniel and Olyvar.

Lord Edmund attended the Lioness’ Ball with Lord Harys Grimm and Lord Nathaniel Grimm where he reunited with his dear sister. Over course of the ball Lord Edmund became fascinated with Courtly politics spending the rest of his tenure in Greyshield studying the Politics of the realm.Lord Edmund has recently returned to New Barrel upong to hearing this his dear father has fallen ill accompanied by his dear friend Ser Nathaniel Ambrose.

Appearance: Edmund is a dashing young lad of 16 . He has porcelain complexion, a heart shaped face and a pug nose. His wavy blonde hair is cut rather short which complements his bright blue eyes. He and his dear sister dress very reagally with their matching emerald apple broaches pinned.

Character Name: Ser Edmund Hollard

Age: 50

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Culture Group: Dusklander (Andal)

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Appearance: Ser Edmund!

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Gifts/Skills: Berserker, Lances, Riding(e)

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Negative Trait: n/a

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Starting Title: Head of House Hollard, Ser

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Starting Location: Duskendale

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Alternate Characters: Lysandro /u/Guild_of_the_Blue, Titus Farman /u/Caron_Song

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Family Tree

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Biography:

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Edmund Hollard was the first born son of Ser Axell Hollard and Sansa Farring, being born in the year 248 AA. Edmund was raised in a household which held a strong tradition of Knighthood, with every renown Hollard having been Knighted at some point in their life. This included his father, Ser Axell Hollard who had been a remarkable warrior. Edmund had huge expectations placed upon him from birth however he worked diligently to match them. At the age of five he began his education and learned how to read and write. At the age of eight he began martial training, learning how to ride a horse. Two years later Ser Axell took Edmund as a squire, by the age of fourteen Edmund learned how to use Lances. On that same year Theo Hollard was born, Edmund would grow attached to his younger brother that would remain as an adult. At the age of sixteen Ser Axell finally felt Edmund had proven himself a capable heir, knighting him before the entirety of House Hollard. The young Knight would participate in many Tourney's throughout the Dusklands, proving to be an excellent jouster. At the age of Eighteen Edmund would meet Jeyne Darke during a small tournament held in Duskendale by Axell Hollard. They would become smitten with each other and during the ceremonies Ser Edmund would propose. The two would marry on that year and have their first child: Casper Hollard. Axell Hollard would die a year later, feeling proud of his sons and glad to have been a grandfather. Edmund would spend the next fifteen years with his family, spending his time raising Casper and enjoying life with his wife Jeyne. A year later Jeyne would give birth to twins: Reese and Myria. They would prove to be much more of a handful then the now grown-up Casper had been. Casper would earn his fathers respect at the age o

Ser Edmund stopped at the doorway to the chambers of the now deceased king. When he heard of King Damon's death, Edmund insisted he be able to investigate the room for any potential leads on the killer. This isn't going to look good. You were hired to protect this keep, not defend the king against assassins. Still. The safety of the people here, while they are here, is the job. And I failed.

Ser Edmund took measured steps, looking around for anything that seemed amiss. The initial guess from the maester was poisoned wine. The king looked almost peaceful, like he lied down to sleep and never woke up. Edmund heard a voice behind him. "Hm, wine's not bad." By the time Ser Edmund had turned, his friend Ser Kent had downed the rest of the goblet of wine. Edmund wore a face of pure terror. "Why are you looking at me like that mate?"

"The wine... Do you feel sick? Or tired?" Now Dayne's face only betrayed his confusion.

"Oh, is this supposed to be poisoned wine?" Ser Kent shrugged.

"The fish then. He took a bite of this trout." Ser Edmund picked up the trout by the fork still impaling it and inspected it more closely. "Have Luther and Mable round up the serving staff and question each one. Ask the cook who brought the fish up to Marbrand." Dayne shook his head. "And be more bloody careful, Kent."

Ser Kent nodded and hurried downstairs.

Dayne turned his attention to the letters on the table - the note apparently courtesy of the assassin as well as those Marbrand had been reading. The Reach reference is obviously a red herring. He continues looking through the documents...

Ser Edmund Dayne came to prominence once again after a few years of aimless drunkenness.

The sellsword company he founded, The Duskblades, have earned a powerful reputation in the wake of a brilliant defense of the Arryn Wedding against annoying relatives, wedding crashers, and hypothetical assassins and the surrender that Ser Edmund solicited from the cowardly Tully who quaked at the arrival of the brilliant captain at the siege.

Ser Edmund is currently at Riverrun waiting for the shake-up there to end so he can sign another contract and grow his ranks.

SER KENT HORSE STATUS: NO HORSE

>“As you say, my lord.” The Halfmaester glanced at another parchment. “We could scarcely have timed our landing better. We have potential friends and allies at every hand.”

Yesterday I posted about the size/strength/discipline of the Golden Company. In this post, my goal is to discuss which houses the Golden Company and Jon Connington are talking about when they refer to their "friends in the reach" aka potential allies.

Who are the Golden Company's "Friends in the Reach"?

Note: I think they have friends in other places too (the Stormlands, King's Landing, Dorne, etc.) but this post is about the friends they might have in the Reach.

>Jon Connington was not without his own friends here. Some of the older lords will still remember me, and their sons will have heard the stories.

Background

The Golden Company/Young Griff's arrival changes a lot, as we seemingly have the Golden Company taking numerous castles/hostages in the Stormlands, half the Stepstones and even Storm's End (though guile).

By taking Storm's End, the realm is forced to recognize Young Griff as a legitimate threat/worthy king:

>Doubt, division, and mistrust will eat the very ground beneath your boy king, whilst Aegon raises his banner above Storm's End and the lords of the realm gather round him."

and so in response, the crown has seemingly sent Mace Tyrell (post trial) to deal with them:

>There is an army descending on Storm’s End from King’s Landing. You will want to be safe inside the walls before the battle.”
>
>Will we? Wondered Arianne. “Battle? Or siege?” She did not intend to let herself be trapped inside Storm’s End.
>
>“Battle,” Halden said firmly. “Prince Aegon means to smash his enemies in the field.” -TWOW, Arianne II

I'm sure you can see where I am going with this. As the Warden of the South, Mace commands a large # of lords and men. Let's put that loyalty to the test.. and see who is more suspect to switch sides...

Houses that could be the GC's "friend"

>"Even after a century, some of us still have friends in the Reach. The power of Highgarden may not be what Mace Tyrell imagines." -ADWD, The Lost Lord

and:

>Let King's Landing think this is no more than an exile lord coming home with some hired swords to rec

#Meta

Yes I am (still) ripping of the Eyrie Open RP thread by /u/GreaterBlueEvil

TPing is allowed in the West so feel free to drop by and if you are passing through also feel free to swing by.

To get into the Castle's Outer ward you must pass up the path to the cliffs and be granted access through the gatehouse. To access the inner bailey, you must pass through a second gatehouse.

You can RP at the gates or choose not to but you must ping myself and the Knights of the Flaming Pyre claimant - if we had one.

Access to the Walled Town is given much more easily and you can enter at your liberty.

Only 6 MaA may enter the Outer Ward. Only 2 MaA may enter the inner bailey. Same limitations go for SC guards. Guards are not permitted to be apart from the guests they travel with unless staying in the barracks where they are housed. This doesn't apply if specifically given exception.

Access to the Lord's Suite, Heir's Suite, Tower of the Lights and Father Tower is restricted to those actually residing in these towers.

Prester Household Knights and Men-At-Arms (Red and White armour and a cloak) alongside the Dragoncloaks and the Knights of the Order of the Flaming Pyre (red plate armour, a red or orange cloak bearing a rank insignia, and often a helmet which is writhed in flame) guard Feastfires and protect its residents and guests. Household Guard are responsible primarily for protection of the Presters and wear Red and White armour and a red cloak clasped by an Ox-head brooch. The Dragoncloaks are responsible for the Castle's defence and particularly the Walled Town and Outer Ward. They wear red armour and red cloaks clasped with a dragon's head along with a helmet in the shape of a dragon. Knights of the Order of the Flaming Pyre are a knightly order sworn to protect the Prester family and can be identified by their red plate armour, orange or red cloak bearing insignia and a helm writhed in flame.

Rookery use is permitted but requires permission.

#Prester PCs

###Lord John Prester, 59

#####Casterly Rock or Feastfires

The Lord of Feastfires splits his time betwee his duties at Casterly Rock and Feastfires. The Lord has grown much older now and is happy to see his heir, Ser Jax, take on most responsibilities around the keep.

###Jax Gabriel Prester, 40

#####Feastfires

The heir to Feastfires has been the effective ruler of Feastfires for several years now, though some duties are shared with Lord John Prester who is kept busy in the Rock

tldr: a quick map of what I think the current situation in the Vale is can be found here

I believe advantage is probably starting fall in Baelish's favor as he has played the lord's weaknesses well and Yohn's allies are starting to wear thin unless a major event happens soon to shake things up as Petyr is better at the long game.

Major Claimants

House Baelish (Harrenhal/Eyrie) - Obviously Petyr Baelish is on his own side here being one of the major movers in the conflict, and Alayne, for now at least, seems to be following in tow. He has the sellsword Lothor Brune and Oswell Kettleblack in his employ who he uses to keep each other's loyalty in check.

House Hardyng - Harrold Hardyng is sworn to House Waynwood and is one of the people most positioned to benefit from Petyr's plans, given he would inherit the Vale of Arryn with Robert's death. He must agree to the marriage with Alayne(Sansa) though to finalize it.

House Arryn (Eyrie) - Robert Arryn will need to be on his own team trying to survive Petyr's attempts to oust him, he is already incredibly wary of Harry. He is slowly being poisoned by sweetmilk which Maester Colemon is trying to get him to ease off of.

=========================================

The Six Lords Declarant

House Royce (Runestone) - Lord Yohn Royce is the major player leading the formation of the Lords Declarant in suspicion of Petyr and rallying the Houses in opposition and to defend Robert Arryn's claim to the Vale. Petyr means to isolate House Royce by winning over his allies thus rendering him no longer a threat. The Lords Declarant are in communication with King's Landing as well who are helping stay their hand against Petyr, which may change if Sansa's identity is revealed or some other event transpires.

House Waynwood (Ironoaks) - Lady Anya Waynwood has Harrold Hardyng as her ward so she stands to gain quite a bit if he takes leadership of the Vale. Petyr originally has doubts about convincing her to side with him though and even implies he may have her killed. But she does end up attending the marriage of Lyonel Corbray setup by Petyr and which has been shunned by the truer Lords Declarant houses, which strongly implies she has been swayed. Petyr has also bought up their debts and offered them a large dowry to setup Harry with Sansa which she agrees to despite tempting the 'wroth' of Bronze Yohn.

House Hunter (Longbow Hall) - Lord Gilwood Hunter is probably on Br

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

With the arrival of his liege lord Robert Baelish of Harrenhal and the Lords Bracken, Blackwood and Vance, Lord Symon Frey had determined to show his guests somewhat of the sieges, which had taken place in the Bleeding and particularly the one that Riverrun had experienced.

As an exercise for the young knights and soldiers of Riverrun and as a spectacle for his guests, Lord Symon had determined that a mock wooden castle be erected. Built of wood, complete with battlements and towers, with a small moat outside, it had been set up in the clearing normally reserved for the lists. The walls were 200 feet long and 12 feet in height, with a tower at the end and one over the gateway in the centre six feet high. There was also a drawbridge defended by an outwork of palisades six feet high. The moat was dry one and only two feet deep, but it would be considered to be full of water and had to be crossed on planks or bridges. Two small towers on wheels would also be employed, which could be run up to the edge of the moat, and would be as high as the top of the towers.

Symon had determined that the mock siege would be fought by two sides of one hundred each – one side representing the Freys and the other the Lannisters paralelling the recent combatants in the Seige of Riverrun ten years ago. Each of the sides, mainly made up of young soldiers, would be clad in the colours of one of the quartered blazons of their house – the Lion of Lannister and the towers of Frey. Each side would commanded by an extra ten knights. Crossbows and arrows were also to be used, but the weapons would be blunted. There were ladders, planks for making bridges, long hooks for hauling men down from the wall, beams for battering down the gate, axes for cutting down the palisades, and all other weapons that were normally employed. Those who were fighting as common soldiers were to wear steel caps and breastpieces, with leather jerkins, and visors to protect their faces, for even a blunted arrow or wooden quarrel could well kill if it struck true. The ten knights on each side were to be in full armour as befitted their status in the melee.

The Lannister force, clad in red and gold was to be commanded by Symon’s second son Ser Alyn Frey while his eldest son Rycherd the Heir of Riverrun had determined that he himself would in command of the Frey party, themselves clad in blue and white livery. Lord Symon knew it would be a rare show, and he hoped that, not only would it entertain

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

It was about a weak back.

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

#Meta

TPing is allowed in the West freely so feel free to drop on by.

To get into the Castle's Outer ward you must pass up the path to the cliffs through Ryam's Town and be granted access through the gatehouse. To access the inner bailey, you must pass through a second gatehouse.

You can RP at the gates or choose not to but you must ping myself and the Knights of the Flaming Pyre claimant - if we had one.

Access to Ryam's Town is given much more easily and you can enter at your liberty.

Only 6 MaA may enter the Outer Ward. Only 2 MaA may enter the inner bailey. Same limitations go for SC guards. Guards are not permitted to be apart from the guests they travel with unless staying in the barracks where they are housed. This doesn't apply if specifically given exception.

Access to the Lord's Suite, Heir's Suite, Tower of the Lights and Father Tower is restricted to those actually residing in these towers.

Prester Household Knights and Men-At-Arms (Red and White armour and a cloak) alongside the Dragoncloaks and the Knights of the Order of the Flaming Pyre (red plate armour, a red or orange cloak bearing a rank insignia, and often a helmet which is writhed in flame) guard Feastfires and protect its residents and guests. Household Guard are responsible primarily for protection of the Presters and wear Red and White armour and a red cloak clasped by an Ox-head brooch. The Dragoncloaks are responsible for the Castle's defence and particularly the Walled Town and Outer Ward. They wear red armour and red cloaks clasped with a dragon's head along with a helmet in the shape of a dragon. Knights of the Order of the Flaming Pyre are a knightly order sworn to protect the Prester family and can be identified by their red plate armour, orange or red cloak bearing insignia and a helm writhed in flame.

Rookery use is permitted but requires permission.

#Prester PCs

###Lord John Prester, 56

#####Casterly Rock or Feastfires (Lord's Suite)

The Lord of Feastfires spends much time at the Rock, particularly with his appointment of Lord Marshal of the Rock. The Lord has grown much older now and is happy to see his heir, Ser Jax, take on more responsibilities around the keep.

###Jax Gabriel Prester, 37

#####Feastfires (Heir's Suite)

The heir to Feastfires has come into new responsibilities around the keep but that has not damped his merriment one bit. He is, however, still recovering from the loss of his sister and the duties if anything aid in bring