What do you call a Bear with ED?

A Gummy Bear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/apx_rbo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2021
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I just taught my son a valuable lesson by telling him a story about two male cows that weren't wearing watches.

It was a timeless parable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paulvs88
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2023
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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what he’d like. The horse doesn’t reply because it’s a horse and obviously can’t speak or understand English.

Several people get up and leave, sensing the danger of having a live animal in a bar.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2023
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She asked me to treat her special

I gave her a helmet and a box of crayons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthOpto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2022
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What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ck_special
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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My dad made a good joke

(Context, I, Dylan, and my cousin, Will, normally play tennis together but I was playing with another kid named Ethan and my dad likes to cheer us on and calls us WD)

My dad was about to chant go ED but he didn’t want us to go soft on them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DylanSnipedU
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2022
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So, I’m a dad. Also, I’ve been baking bread for many years.

Years ago, I created a whole-wheat and oats bread recipe for my daughter and I called it β€œMister Ed Bread” which she didn’t care about because she’s 30 years too young to have any idea who Mr. Ed was, despite me occasionally wandering through the house neighing β€œWilbur….”

Anyway, yesterday I came up with a new recipe, I replaced the oats with potato flour.

I call it "Mister Potato Bread".

When I told my wife she literally bent over laughing and clapping her hands.

😲😁 😜

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkchop_d_clown
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2022
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What do you call a woman who has 4 sons that are all CEOs?

An executive producer!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frankenstien23
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2014
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Did you hear about that Japanese foodie who got became transgender and now goes by Edward, but then got pregnant and had a baby and joined the baby bloggers?

His blog is called Ed - A Mommy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smrkk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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A plan for my (really loose) recreation Romeo and Juliet set in colonial Australia.
  1. Grace, an Aboriginal woman falls in love with a convict called Ed.

  2. Grace's brother, Wilangorga ( commonly known as William) is known for his anger and hate for the English.

  3. That does not stop Grace seeing Ed any time possible.

  4. One night William is out hunting near the town and sees Ed and Grace together

  5. Caught off guard , He tries to scare Ed away so William Shakes Spear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2016
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Chatting about names after dinner.

My Father in law says "I knew a bloke who had a son called Edward, and then had a daughter they named Edwina".

"Why would they do that?" Asked my wife.

"Because two Ed's are better than one".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlokeDownUnder
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2015
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My dad laid this one on me after I told him about how my Halloween costume (Link from Legend of Zelda) was received.

Me: "So at my co-worker's party, I met a woman who suddenly called out "Link!" at me when she saw me and pulled me over to her side of the room to take a picture of my costume. She said that her friend, who wasn't at the party, had dressed up as Link, too. She was somewhat drunk and rather excited about it. I saw a picture of her friend on her phone. She had put a bit more commitment into the costume since she had a sword and shield."

Dad: "So... did you connect with her friend after the party..."

Me: "Uh.. no?"

Dad: "...on LinkedIn?

Me: *facepalm*

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cassius_longinus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2015
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