Duke (G.I. Joe) Puns

G.I. Joe members Duke, Snake Eyes, and Storm Shadow vs a team of Batman, The Punisher, and Ryu Hayabusa....who wins?

So recently I was rewatching 2013's G.I Joe: Retaliation. It's somewhat entertaining but it's not a good film by any measure, it's highly predictable and downright ridiculous in several aspects with painfully mediocre acting and a pretty shitty script.

From my perspective, the G.I Joe franchise doesn't really work well with modern audiences, it worked well during the cold-war but I think younger generations have a harder time accepting the hyperpatriotic all-American hero shtick know that average Americans have free knowledge on the nations less than noble military history.

Whatever the case, I think G.I Joe can be fixed and adapted for the modern age with the following changes.

Firstly, while I think the Joe's are mostly fine as is, they definitely need to be less OP and they should be a fully-fledged secret agency with a larger and more diverse assortment of members.

Secondly, Cobra, needs a major overhaul. Throughout the entire franchise's history, Cobra has been your typical villainous organization that is evil for evil's sake. Their only goal is to take over the world and they attempt to accomplish this with stupidly advanced weaponry that the U.S.A is somehow unable to acquire beforehand all while having a habit of building needlessly massive secret bases which are always destroyed after less than a year of use.

I would fix Cobra by making their general aesthetic more rugged and grounded in reality, this means they look less like comic book supervillains and more like uniquely advanced terrorists who are distinctive and threatening while also fitting comfortably into the militant aesthetic of the modern world. I would also rewrite Cobra with better motives, specifically, making Cobra a distinctively anti-American organization that simply wants to destroy the USA and destabilize the western world rather than take over the world. This causes the Joe's to gradually question their patriotism to the USA as learn about the USA's many past war crimes against innocent populations.

If this all sounds overused, however, don't worry, there's gonna be a twist.

Like the events of Retaliation. I would eventually have Cobra take over the U.S Government and nearly succeed at wiping out the Joe's by using the U.S Government's forces against them. The Joe's launch a... retaliation only to discover a shocking truth. Cobra didn't seize control of the U.S Government because they are the government. Cobra was intentionally established by the U.S Government to a

I have a few lots up for grabs today. These are mostly mid-grade reader copy comics, however, some are worse and some are better quality. Please read all the info at the bottom of the post for additional details.

Lot #1 X-Factor (70 comics) https://imgur.com/a/ngUXXb0 Asking $65 shipped (price reduced)

02, 03, 04, 05, 07, 08, 09, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46 (x2), 47, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 78, 82, 85, 86, annuals 1, 2, 3, 4 and 7

Lot #2 Iron Man (64 comics) https://imgur.com/a/z3Lfzue Asking $65 shipped (Price Reduced)

edit: Sold

146, 153, 155, 156, 171, 172, 173, 175, 178, 180, 182, 184, 188, 187, 195, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 213, 214, 216, 217, 218, 220, 221, 222, 223, 226, 224, 227, 228, 229, 230, 232, 233, 234, 235, 236, 237, 238, 239, 240, 241, 243, 244, 247, 249, 290, annuals 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Lot #3 Punisher (43 comics) https://imgur.com/a/JCP0ztdAsking $65 shipped (price reduced)

edit : sold

Vol.2 1987 ongoing series #'s 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 08, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 29, 31, 33, 48, 49, annuals 1, and 2,

War Journal #’s 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, and 18

Lot #4 G.I. Joe (55 comics) https://imgur.com/a/khjJ5Gz Asking $65 shipped

Edit: SOLD

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #'s 12, 15, 19, 28, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 (x2), 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41 (x2), 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 64, 65, 66, 67, 70

G.I. Joe: Special Missions #’s 01, 02, 03, and 04

G.I. Joe: Order of Battle #’s 01, and 03

G.I. Joe and the Transformers #’s 02, 03, and 04

G.I. Joe Yearbook #’s 01, 03, and 04

Lot #5 Wolverine (44 comics) https://imgur.com/a/uH5Lugl Asking $65 shipped

#'s 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 39, 42, 52, 53, 40, 75, 77, 81

Kitty pride and wolverine #'s 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06

Classic x-men #'s 17, 30, 45

Marvel Comics Presents: Wolverine #'s 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, and 10

Havoc and wolverine meltdown #'s 02, 03, 04

"The wolverine saga" book 1

*Wolverine: The

I really fw that style of drill and need to find more of that type of shit can anybody help me out

FYI. I just called my local TRU to check if they had gotten any of the G.I. Joe Rock Rampage three-figure sets and the person answering the phone said that their information showed it not being released until August 26th (Wednesday). So here's hoping the $50+ scalpers on eBay don't have the last word.

Okay. The idea that John Cena’s character Agent Burns from the Bumblebee movie will be revealed to be Duke is already out there. If so, how do you think it will revealed?

My first thought was to kill of Sector Seven in Bumblebee 2. Or at least most of them. Have a traitor in their midst connected to a terrorist organization that activates a bomb or something. This could lead to the death of Simmons. Or maybe Simmons is the traitor. Either way, it will be a final deathblow to Bayformers continuity, because certain individuals still mention the existence of Simmons as proof that Bumblebee is a prequel...even though Hasbro revealed that Bumblebee is now the reboot. One of the survivors is Burns. He either is assigned a new name or it’s revealed that “Burns” is a name that was assigned to him by Sector Seven. He reassigned to a new group dedicated to hunting down the terrorists. This group’s official name is Special Counter-Terrorist Unit Delta.

I think making Simmons a traitor would also be a nice reference to Agents of SHIELDA and a call back to the fact that G.I. Joe started out as a SHIELD vs Hydra or Nick Fury vs Hydra (or something to that extent). At one point in AoS, the character of Simmons pretended to join HYDRA to spy on them. Why don’t we have our Simmons actually work for Cobra and then get killed off just to cut even more ties to Bayformers?

But what to do about Memo? He’s not the actual love interest to Charlie (that’s Bee) and 95% of his scenes could given to the brother with minimal rewrites. In the rest, he could simply be removed. One possibility that occurred to me was spinning him off in the G.I. Joe portion of the cinematic universe. He could get his own plot lines that his alone and let the actor shine by giving him meatier material. One possibility is that he becomes Grand Slam, an introvert who loves reading science fiction and comics. It would totally fit his narrative. In the sequel, he officially loses Charlie to Bumblebee, so he becomes a bit more introverted, and he likes to escape his heartbreak doing something he’s already been established doing. (Well, he’s only been seen reading one GoBots comic, but the overlap is easy to see.). Of course, if you want to have him be a Joe that shares a given name, there’s Snow Storm. While, the movie only gives his nickname, his given name is Guillermo.

Any thoughts?

To start off, I will say that I enjoyed the first movie for the most part despite the relatively poor reception. It was everything I wanted out of a G.I. Joe movie - seeing Cobra rise up, Destro go under his control, awesome tech gadgets and effects - all what I wanted from that type of movie.

But enter the sequel...what a piece of garbage.

Killing Tatum so early in the film was a terrible decision and gutted any 'heart' the movie had. The Rock and him had good chemistry, but the Rock is awful by himself. Plus Duke dying for Flint - who did NOTHING in the film - doesn't even make it a worthwhile death.

Second, where the hell was Cobra? He was in it for like 5 minutes in an awful rendition of his costume. Cobra in #1 was badass - in Retaliation he was a joke.

Zartan, well acted, but god, what a cliche plot. A doppelganger? Really? For the entire movie? Lame as hell and a wasted effort.

The special effects were worse than the Matrix (1999). Cheesey-ass slowmo, overdone explosions, and stupid firefly bugs? Really.....Compared to the nanomites/ocean base/accelerator suits/etc from the first one - it feels like this move was on-par with a stuntshow you see at a theme park.

Redeemable qualities? The ninjas and cliff fight scene were all great. They were so good it feels like there were two different directors. How can you create such an awesome mountainsky fortress, but then drop the ball with such an awful threat of the Zeus system. The nuclear launch scene was pretty cool too, although it didn't really impact anything.

And some shit that just made no sense. Zartan killing the master? What? Cobra wasn't even in the picture back then...what kind of foresight can Zartan have to know these guys will turn into Stormshadow/Snakeeyes? London destroyed? Ok, but no one cares? Bruce Willis was such an unnecssary role, get "Generic Actor" for that role - what a waste of money. And why is Firefly introduced with no background...why should we care about him and his stupid bugs.

Lastly, the dialogue was beyond awful. I expect corny one-liners. I laugh at them. But saying "Destro, you're out of the band" is just ridiculous. And the stuff the Rock said was written by a 3rd grader. Awful.

I give this 1/5 stars. It's probably one of the worse superhero-type movies I've seen. I would put it lower than Fantastic Four 2 and Daredevil. A piece of crap through and through. But I still hope they make a third, because I grew up playing with G.I. Joes, I really liked the fi

In alphabetical order:

Jake Gyllenhaal as Breaker

Joe Manganiello as Clutch

Michael Fassbender as Cobra Commander

Jeremy Renner as Duke

Alexander Ludwig as Dusty

Karl Urban as Flash

Sylvester Stallone as Hawk

Bradley Cooper as Monkeywrench

Jason Momoa as Road Pig

Charlie Hunnam as Rock 'n Roll

Emily Beecham as Scarlett

Djimon Hounsou as Serpentor

Aaron Eckhart as Short-Fuse

Donnie Yen as Snake Eyes

Don Cheadle as Stalker

Rick Yune as Storm Shadow

Huang Bo as Zandar

Hiroyuki Sanada as Zanzibar

Li Bingbing as Zarana

Jason Scott Lee as Zartan