French swing-dancing flash mob exclaims in dismay at being arrested for disorderly conduct.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 20 2021
Disorderly Conduct
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 17 2017
Me: I just read a great book on multiple personality disorder...
Also me: I don't think it was that great, and neither do I!
π︎ 8
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︎ May 09 2021
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
π︎ 29k
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
When I lived in Washington, DC, I formed a rock band with a friend who lived with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder.
OC/DC, we called ourselves.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
The second COVID vaccine causes a speech disorder in Spanish speakers
They keep asking for dose dos
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
What do you call a computer with generalized anxiety disorder?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
Iβm in a band and weβre making an album about bipolar disorder, with no singing
Itβs going to be an instru-mental album
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 02 2021
My cousin is obsessed with Belle Delphine (long)
Iβm worried about my cousin. Heβs 28 with a good job. Has a lot in common with me (nerdy habits: board games, gaming conventions, anime etc). Unfortunately I have recently learned that he is one of those poor souls obsessed with Belle Delphine. Apparently it started out innocently enough. My cousin is into cosplay. Heβs into girls. Ooh, thereβs cosplay girls on the internet? What began as a YouTube channel subscription and a few dozen likes on Instagram has progressed into something much more serious. This man is spending money. My cousinβs social media accounts have recently featured pictures of him with his Belle Delphine merch. T-shirts, body pillows, thereβs even some kind of bed spread/comforter with her googly-eyed tongue-outy face on it. Did you know that Belle Delphine briefly partnered with Tomβs shoes for a limited edition series of footwear? I knew that, because my cousin wonβt shut up about how he bought them all. Heβs got at least three jars of dirty bath water and a gaming keyboard with her face on it. Itβs really sad. I think the isolation of the pandemic really exacerbated his behavior. He says that he and Belle are destined to be together. For my part, Iβm telling him that this isnβt healthy behavior, and Iβm encouraging him to seek counseling. Iβm convinced he has a mental health issue like Obsessive Love Disorder or Erotomania. Afterall, he does have all of the Simp Toms.
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︎ Jun 01 2021
I used to suffer from multiple personality disorder,
π︎ 16
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︎ Sep 11 2020
I was attacked by a gang of people with Obsessiveβcompulsive disorder.
π︎ 35
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︎ Jun 10 2020
Doctor : "It seems like you have multiple personality disorder"
π︎ 13
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︎ May 27 2020
What do you call a bear with a mental disorder?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
I think I might be a polygamist.
My wife has multiple personality disorder.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 29 2021
What do you call a bovine with an eating disorder?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 19 2020
"I have a split personality disorder"
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 27 2020
I got diagnosed with a bleeding disorder today.
I'm just trying to B positive.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 16 2020
What do you call a banana with multiple personality disorder?
π︎ 20
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︎ Dec 13 2019
I worked with a guy with pultiple personality disorder once
"I hate having MPD" said Tom, being frank.
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 28 2020
I have bi-polar disorder...
... But all things considered I'm actually doing quite well half the time.
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 26 2019
Dyslexia is an Alphabetical Disorder.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 22 2019
What do you call when two persons with multiple identity disorder fall in love with each other
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
What do you call a Mexican guy with an anxiety disorder?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 27 2019
[request] Puns about drinks that can be related to mental health disorders/moods
Example: Depresso, Anxietea
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 02 2018
Marijuana causes users to become so mellow that they may lose all interest in things that are important. It's a tension deficit disorder.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 06 2019
Iβve got a rare sight disorder from watching Mary Poppins too many times... it called umdiddleyumdiddleyumdiddley eye.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 08 2019
My girlfriend left me after my iguana was diagnosed with a seizure disorder.
She said she couldnβt date a man with a reptile dysfunction
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 15 2019
My doctor just diagnosed me with bipolar disorder.
I donβt know whether to laugh or cry.
π︎ 60
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︎ Sep 07 2018
My wife was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder...
I never knew she was afraid of Santa and polar bears
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 01 2019
I was recently diagnosed with SED. Suppressed Enthusiasm Disorder.
Iβm not sure how to feel about it.
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 01 2019
I found this new rock band that has obsessive compulsive disorder
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 10 2019
Sometimes when houses have personality disorders...
π︎ 25
π
︎ Apr 07 2018
I have social anxiety disorder thatβs why Iβm always SAD
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 13 2017
My dad has a rare genetic disorder that he passed down to me.
He poops his pants every hour on the hour. Needles to say I have really shitty genes
π︎ 30
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︎ Mar 31 2017
What fluid gives you bi-polar disorder?
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︎ Nov 05 2017
Why can't a cyclops have multiple personality disorder?
Because it has only one I.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jun 19 2017
Microsoft's search engine is the best one for adult entertainment (porn). But after I used it, I cleared my browser history. I might have a disorder, because...
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 08 2015
So I just realized Pangea is the cure to bi-polar disorder.
π︎ 14
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︎ Mar 24 2017
What do you call it when a priest has multiple personality disorder?
They've got an altar ego.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 28 2014
After getting married, the woman filed for divorce the very next morning...........
Judge: "I don't understand, what happened?"
Woman: "I work in a pharmacy. I met him when he first came there last week and asked to purchase an X-X-X-X-L condom. That's when I thought, for a happy pleasureful life, I should get him to marry me before any other girls find out and lap him up."
Judge: "ok.... then? "
Woman: "I held my excitement all day thru the wedding, waiting for the night..... so at night when I my curiosity couldn't wait any longer........I found out something."
Judge: "what?"
Woman: "the Bastard has speech disorder.... he STAMMERS!!"
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︎ Jul 20 2020
I was at the mall the other day, and I overheard two women talking about someone they know who has narcissistic personality disorder.
I'm pretty sure they were talking about me.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 14 2014
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