I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

What exactly is a culinary ethnography?

Food is many things, to many people. What exactly that thing is, says a lot about that group of people as a whole. What we eat is a huge part of who we are, who we’ve been, and what we experience as we encounter the new. In my 90 years, I have done my best to experience first hand the many, many ways that each denizen of the Forgotten Realms decides to break bread.

This is by no means a rule book, as if I am some sort of dictator of what is, and isn’t proper for a member of a race to do in the kitchen. Rather, it is a collection of observances in regards to commonalities and trends among members of the same race. While my own experience is obviously limited, and there are plenty of individuals I have yet to dine with and learn about, I would like to offer up what I have learned so far.

-Adelbert Boffin, Halfling Culinarian

First things first, as a disclaimer of all Culinary Ethnography entries, let’s set some caveats. Who are Elves? Am I including Half-Elves? Drow? All those of Elven lineage? All those of Elven parentage back to the Fae themselves? While I would like to eventually include more varied looks at the similarities and differences between all of these groups, for the purposes of this analysis, I will be looking at those Elves that live in, or near the Faewild in particular. As always, this is a look at some of the major trends I have seen occur. It is not a rulebook that one must follow to be a “proper Elf” in the kitchen. Food is as much culture as it is history, geography, necessity, community, and personal freedom. With that out of the way, let’s give this culture a respectful look.

Living off the Land

To truly understand the cuisine of the Elves, it is important to first understand where their sustenance is derived from. While this maxim is true of all races, it holds even greater weight with Elves. Food culture is derived from the culmination of necessity and environment and the environment that most Elves live in is one of true bounty, allowing for a more “particular” palate. After all, it is much easier to only eat things that taste good, when starvation is not on the line. Not many races can claim the same abundance, leading to a rather unique culinary culture.

The first subject of note is that Elves do not take part in animal husbandry. From Dwarves, to Humans, to Orcs, you can see some sort of animal that is a mainstay in their diet in some form or another. As always, this is co

A little intro into our LO… She was born two weeks early and is EFF as BF didn’t work out for us. We started with Aptamil, and then switched to Aptamil Comfort quite early after many colicky evenings. We also added fennel tea to her bottles to help with her gas and discomfort. She would scream and scream, to the point that her voice would crack! She was so unhappy and I’m so much pain. The new formula eventually helped- it has reduced lactose and is recommended for colic and constipation. We saw a light at the end of the tunnel, and by 3 months she seemed like a happy baby again.

Then things started changing. She started to fuss at the bottle and eat less. Hysterical crying fits returned, esp in the evenings. I put it down to a growth spurt, and perhaps she was too interested in things around her to eat properly. She also suddenly developed skin eczema on her arms.

She’s now 3 and a half months, and we flew home to South Africa from Switzerland two days ago. It was a nightmare. She screamed and screamed on the plane, and only slept 3 hours. The eczema was now on her cheeks, it developed literally overnight. We were exhausted by the time we landed. By the time I got to my parents place, she was in a screaming fit again, and continued the entire day!!! She wouldn’t eat, she would sleep. We rushed her off to the doctor, who suggested perhaps she has a cows milk allergy- noting the gas pain, colic and eczema. So we bought Similac Alimentum and started feeding her that. She still cried hysterically till 7 in the evening before finally passing out.

Next morning the eczema on her cheeks was noticeably reduced, and she was babbling and chatty in a way I have never experienced. She seems finally happy and I feel like we are really seeing her personality now. It’s been two days and no hysterical crying- just one bout of overtired crying.

So my question is, has anyone else experienced there LO having a cows milk protein allergy really flare up later, instead of early? Could it be that because she was on a reduced lactose formula it was somewhat helping but now that she is older she is eating more thus it became too much? Or perhaps it built up in her system? I can’t quite understand it.

Also, her poop is dark brown and slimy- is this normal? Is it just an adjustment issue?

Any advise or shared experiences welcome!

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

This is your 16-minute Tuesday digest in 4073 words.

##Education reforms discussed in parliament | How bad is it today, and what's the solution?

Deputy Education Minister Joanna Andreasyan: 16%-28% of students lack basic knowledge about decimal fractions and arithmetic operations. 10% scored so low, it was difficult to assess them.

In 2003-2015, 24%-42% of students couldn't pass the lowest threshold in natural sciences. Students don't understand simple concepts such as the flu being a virus, genes transferring from both parents.

##... almost half of 9th graders failed Armenian Language & Literature exams

In 2019, around 20% of university applicants didn't pass the minimum threshold in the Armenian Language exam. It was an improvement from 2015's 30%, but still too high.

While the official stats were showing one thing, the international studies were telling a different story. For example, in 2015-16-17 years, according to official data, only a dozen of 33,000 fourth-grade students failed their final exams. This is why we need to reform the assessment system. We need to revoke the dysfunctional failing grade system and focus on working with the student throughout the year, by using various grading methods. The assessment score shouldn't be just a digit that becomes a matter of "life and death" for the student and parent.

In 2017-2018, only 55% of 9th graders were able to pass the minimum threshold for Armenian Language & Literature final exam. The family's social-financial situation has an impact on the child's education. There is a discrepancy between rural and Yerevan students.

##... 1/3rd of elementary school graduates cannot read and comprehend basic text

... per 2015 international study on natural sciences & math. This is called functional illiteracy. You know the letters and digits, but you can't use them in practice.

##... a good student who graduates 12th grade can realize their potential only at 57% capacity today

We could teach the same materials in 9 years. 3 are gone wasted today.

##... where are all the future teachers at?

Pedagogy is not what our students choose these days. Only 7 students are studying to become physics teachers at the Pedagogy University, 3 for chemistry. Of the annual 21,000 graduates, only 500 want to become pedagogues, while over half of our current teachers are above the age of 50 and will need a replacement within a decade.

Every year, 700 teacher positio

They were cooked in Greece.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

I tried to post this to r/mildlyinteresting and r/notinteresting but neither of them allow text posts so here goes.

Before you say it: no shit, Sherlock. Fast food is gross and makes you feel bad. But I didn't realize just HOW bad. This is about exploring that.

About a year ago I started to suspect that even occasionally eating fast food can wreak absolute havoc on a body.

I started to notice that even tiny, one-off items like a single cheesy roll-up from Taco Bell, or a hash brown from McDonald's, with no other fast food that week, would make me feel awful the rest of the day and the following day.

These meals were generally eaten out of convenience and due to time constraints because I work so much, sometimes I just needed a quick bite because I didn't want to go home and do dishes or meal prep after working two jobs.

Occasionally I would not skip a week and ate approximately 30 fast food meals during this experiment. I use that term lightly because I didn't do anything terribly scientific and didn't keep a spreadsheet. Just notes in my WriterP app.

Guidelines:

• I keep calories per meal under 650, meaning I would either eat only one menu item or a small portion of parts of a combo meal. I have some local friends who live out of doors who I would set aside the other portions for and deliver while hot before eating. Further on calories, I assume the official restaurant calorie quote is at least 20% too low but took them at face value since it accounts for only about 6% of my weekly calories.

• I counted any beverages, even standalone (i.e.; a medium diet coke and no food) as that week's meal. I did not include a beverage in every meal to account for how dirty those machines are. Sometimes just the ice/drink is responsible for making you sick.

• I did not eat fast food the week of my period because I already feel like complete garbage.

• I omitted dairy more often than not because I already avoid dairy at home because it can really mess me up for more than a few days and ain't nobody got time for that. I developed some level of lactose intolerance in my early 30s.

• I omitted meat more often than not because I generally just try to eat more plant-based for ethical and environmental reasons.

• I genuinely like vegetables and chose more vegetable heavy items than something with, say, a bun or a tortilla.

• I would often use the restaurants' apps to get BOGO deals and use any points system to be able to feed my previously-referenced frien

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.