I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The Paper Tiger finally arrives in MAGA space and is COMPLETELY unnoticed by the Terrans.
The rest of the series can be found here
***
“All hands stand by for re-entry to normal space,” T’sunk’al said nonchalantly. Considering the risks of this jump, that was quite the accomplishment (or further proof of his insanity).
“I don’t know about ‘normal’,” Sheila scoffed as she strapped herself in.
“Hey, be nice!” Jessie drawled as she hopped into her station on the bridge.
“Jessie,” Sheila faux-snarled, “I fucking warned you about that!”
“Sorry, ma’am!” Jessie bubbled as she strapped in.
A few moments later, T’sunk’al announced, “Re-entry in 3… 2… 1… Jump!”
The entire ship lurched rearward sharply throwing everyone forward in their seats.
“Well, that was suboptimal,” T’sunk’al said as he rapidly pulled up status displays and initiated diagnostics, “Could have gone worse, though.”
“An actual rough jump?” Sheila smirked, “Are you slipping?”
“Considering what he just did,” Gloria chuckled, “We’re lucky we got here at all. Do you have any idea how hard a jump that was? The navcomp had a fit!”
“Yeah,” Bunny said happily, “I had to shut it up. ‘We’re gonna die! We’re gonna diiiiiiie!’,” she laughed. “What a drama queen.”
“Did it actually...” Sheila asked.
“Of course not!” Bunny snickered, “It’s just a stupid machine. Everybody knows we are incapable of that sort of shit.”
“Surrre you are,” Sheila chuckled.
“Now that is remarkable...” T’sunk’al said as he looked at the main screen.
On it was a gigantic ice asteroid…
That had been lovingly carved into a giant human head. It’s noble visage looked over the void like a guardian angel, its rugged meaty features a beatific image of all that was noble about mankind.
“Now that’s an idol,” Sheloran said in awe.
“Behold!” Jessie beamed, “The Great Trump!, the largest sculpture in the Republic, perhaps anywhere! One of the wonders of the modern galaxy… or it would be if anyone actually had the balls to come out here… Pretty cool, huh?”
“Well, it is made of ice,” T’sunk’al said in a completely flat deadpan voice. Only a slight ripple of his remaining eyestalks indicated humor.
“There’s a whole city in there!” Jessie exclaimed. “The Trump Freedom Port is awesome! They have museums, shops, rides...”
“Rides?” Sheloran asked.
“It’s a fucking theme park,” Sheila snickered, “it’s an inbred creationist version of Luna World.”
... keep reading on reddit ➡Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Calcium, nickel, neon
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
