I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
https://preview.redd.it/15gv0qbh7wa81.png?width=1832&format=png&auto=webp&s=50ee90f7f474add66f2b731fea41014e060b6eb4
<< I Got A Holiday Special, Part 2 | From The Beginning
( And we’re back! Looks like this series won 2nd place in best Comedy! Thank you to everyone who voted! Drinks are on the house! Xoco’s house, because she’s up next. And still no snow. We’ll get there some day, probably after you’ve started to wonder if I actually can write snow.)
The morning sun wouldn’t peek out over the trees for another hour or so still, which meant that only the dimmed golden sconces and chandeliers of mage light illuminated Xoco’s personal library just enough for her to navigate. Not that she particularly needed it. She had spent enough time here that navigation to all of her favorite spots had become second nature.
From the lowest sub-basement that had the comfiest velvet and silk cushions with the warmest lights, to the cooler lights shining through the thick glass of the salt water aquarium built into one of the walls casting its light onto a sitting area, and up to the observatory room with all its cosmic design stylings compressed into an ironically small room.
Though as the rain drummed against the windows to provide a soothing rhythm, Xoco found herself on the highest perch available in her library to all not named Nelli. While the feathered serpent could and would sometimes drape herself on the highest golden chandelier up in the domed ceiling, Xoco found herself content to settle for a spot only accessible by climbing up a certain bookshelf to the hammock installed just for her that let her overlook most of the library.
It was her “secret” spot that let her survey all, and the light sconce that was altogether out of place and extremely convenient to her reading up here did not make it any less secret. And though “personal library” actually meant “Xoco’s personal library that she let any servant who wanted to read in here when her family wasn’t looking”, one of her few rules was that this hammock was hers alone. A rule that no one had any objections to as it was quite precarious to get to and involved hanging over a very high drop.
The jungle troll found her pulse quickening as she thumbed through the pages of the novel. Not on account of the
... keep reading on reddit ➡For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
“There are no gods, here.”
The words echoed through Bav’s memory as he descended the rough-hewn steps, deeper and deeper into the earth. The woman at the gate had spoken them to him, a last warning as he crossed the threshold, two days prior.
Maybe three days; the only light he had was what he brought with him, and that was now much reduced. He spent more time without a candle or torch than with one, now. Without knowing how much further he would have to go, he wanted to make sure he had some light when he reached the bottom.
That he never considered what he would need for the climb back up was not something he wanted to dwell on.
Bav’s journey to this place had started three years earlier, on a farm near the coast. He had been travelling long before that, making his way by the strength of his arm and the steel of his sword. Mostly caravan work, some mercenary fighting. Occasionally some less reputable tasks. Bav cared little for the morals - a fight was a fight, and he won far more of them than he lost.
He had stopped at the farm to rest, trading manual labour for a berth in the hayloft and a meal or two before moving on. The work was hard, and boring, but nobody was trying to drive a foot of steel into his belly, so he managed to enjoy himself for two days. Hot food, a daughter that was pleasant to the eye, and a warm spot to sleep was enough for the moment.
On the third day, things soured slightly, and Bav made up his mind to move on in the morning. The farmer, an old man named Sil with eight fingers, advised bav that it was a Festday, and that he would be required to make his way with the family to the temple or be turned out as a heretic.
Not one for religion of any sort, but also wary of the ferocity of a town full of zealots - it would not have been his first, and he would be more than happy to scrape and bow before a beshitted altar for a day than have to deal with one again - Bav agreed. It was an hour walk into the nearest town, and Bav spent most of it trying - and failing - to make the farmer’s daughter laugh. The girl’s mother noticed, and gave Bav her evilest look whenever the opportunity arose. Bav would grace her with his most charming smile in return, and moved the time of his departure in the morning up a few minutes when she looked away. At this rate, he’d be leaving before nightfall.
The temple was what he expected, little more than a mud shack at the end of a rutted and narrow track in the town. S
... keep reading on reddit ➡At work, I have a workstation.
edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
Wows
I’ll show myself out
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
