A list of puns related to "David J"
My work uses punny names for all its example scenarios. Things like Dustin Dubree, Dora Jarr, Duane Pipes, etc.
One of them is David Jochim and no one in my class of 7 can figure this out.
So itβs either not a pun, or weβre dense.
Me: my name isnβt David.
Doctor: I know. Iβm David.
He put out his hand and I said "David are you nervous?" He said no so I grabbed his hand looked him in the eyes and said "then why are you shaking?"
If I ever have a son I'm naming him Tom just so I can play space oddity by David bowie in the delivery room during the birth. It's the ultimate dad joke and none of you can stop me
Itβs called the David Lee Roth.
David Bowie: "You look a bit down in the dumps, Bing. What's wrong?"
Bing Crosby: "my inflatable arsehole needs blown up."
Bowie: "Do you want to borrow my rubber bum pump?"
Bing: "Rubber bum pump?"
Bowie: "Rubber bum pump."
Pets I want to have....
An otter name Harry Otter. A snake named Severus Snake. A tortoise named Voldetort. A chicken named Kylo Hen. A dog named Barkamedes. A deer named David Hasselhoof. A turkey named Green Gobbleen. A cat named Captain Ameowrica. A stork named Tony Stork. A pig named Peter Porker. A crocodile named Croctor Strange. A duck named Ducktor Doom. A squid named Abraham Inkin. A goose named Ryan Gooseling. A heron named Charlize Heron. A goat named Selena Goatmez An alpaca named Alpacachino. A carp name Leonardo DiβCarprio. A tuna named Tuna Turner. A horse named Neighlor Swift. A toad named Demi Lavatoad. A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds. A swan named Swan Jovi. A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon. A ferret named Ferret Faucet. A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime. A cow named Moolissa McCarthy. A crow named Seth Crowgan. A fox named Charlie Fox. A cat named Katy Purry. A wolf named Howly Berry. A hamster named Scarlet Johamster. A parrot named Squakin Phoenix. A duck named DuckleBerry Finn. A canary named Jim Canary. A swarm of bees, all named BeeyoncΓ©. A sheep named Meryl Sheep. An elk named Elkton John. A bear named Teddy Mercury. A ram named Gordon RAMsey. A shark named Fin Diesel. A jellyfish named Jelly Clarkson. An Iguana named Eddie Lizard. A hyena named Hyena Bonham Carter. A penguin named Robird Downey Jr.
a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
My friend's dad passed away earlier this year, but pulled off a spectacular dad joke at his funeral. One of the songs he requested was 'here comes the sun' by the beetles...
...to be played as his son approached the front of the church to deliver his speech.
RIP David.
... walk into a haunted house and see a Β£5 note on a table. The English man walks up to the table and hears a voice "I am the ghost of able Mable and that Β£5 note belongs on that table". He gets scared and runs away. The Irish man approaches the table and hears the same voice " I am the ghost of able Mable and that Β£5 note belongs on that table". He gets scared and runs away as well. The Scots man walks up to the table and hears the same voice " I am the ghost of able Mable and that Β£5 note belongs on that table". He says "I am the son of David Crocket and thatΒ£5 note belongs in my pocket".
He would be Michael and J-Loβs David
He told me to use an Aphid David.
David Buoy
Dr. David
The bartender says, βOh my god, David Hasselhoff, this is so amazing!β
David Hasselhoff replies, βJust call me Hoff.β
The bartender replies, βSure, no hassle, just Hoff.β
Chris Pine - Pine scented
Cocoa Chanel - Hot cocoa scented
Beth Crow-ley - Rain, nighttime, and city streets scented
Tom Holly-and - Holly berry scented
JK Row-ling - Lakes and campfire scented
Miley Cypress - Cypress scented
Bob Moss - Forest and moss scented
Juniper Aniston - Juniper scented
Katy Berry - Mixed berry scented
Britney Spearmint - Spearmint scented
Bread Pitt - Bread scented
Tom Cruise - Ocean, salty, alcohol scented
Aurora - Nighttime, wind, whimsical scented
Nicole Kidman - baby powder scented
Justin Beaver - Wood, nature scented
Elvis Parsley - Parsley scented
Steve Cobs - Corn on the cob scented
Banana Montana - Banana scented
Orange Winfrey - Orange scented
Chris Bat - Nighttime, caves, and bats scented
Zoey Salad-ana - Salad, lettuce, leafy greens, tomato, cheese scented
Dwayne the Rock - Mountains, earthy, fresh, crisp, wind scented Jennifer Joe-pez - Nice hot cup oβ joe scented
Chicken Corbin Blue - Chicken and cheese and ham scented
Robert Brownie Jr. - Brownie scented
Sardine-a Gomez - Sardine scented
Daniel Rad-Clif - Clif bar blueberry flavor scented
Leonardo Di-Carp-rio - Fish scented
Halle Berry - Mixed scented
Demi Tomato - Tomato scented
Kevin Bacon - Bacon scented
Mandy Sβmore - Sβmores scented
Mackerel-more - Fish scented
Broccoli Obama - Broccoli scented
WILL.I.SPAM. - Spam scented
Mark Buffalo Wings - Buffalo wing scented
John Lemon - Lemon scented
Shakiramisu - Tiramisu scented
Egg Sheeran - Eggs scented
Benedict Cucumber Patch - Cucumber scented
Adille - Dill scented
Kevin Spicy - Taco scented
Channing Potatum - Potato scented
Melon DeGeneres - Melon scented
Danny Burrito - Burrito scented
Michaelanjello - Red jello scented
Harry Panini - Panini scented
Snoop Hot Dog - Hot dog scented
Paris Hilton - Paris, city of love, generic love perfume scented
Morgan Whipped Cream-in - Whipped cream scented
Mike Fryson - French fry scented
Henry David Thoreaut Lozenge - Cough drop scented
Raisin Williams - Raisin scented
Robert Frosty - Vanilla ice cream scented
Jeff Onion-blum - Onion ring scented
Tom Skittle-ston - Skittles scented
Ralph Waldo M&Mson - Chocolate scented
Malt Whitman - Malt scented
(Friend and I came up with these on the ride down to Boston for a concert, after the βI wonder what Chris Pine smells like?β joke was brought up again from a previous time hanging out. Iβm particularly proud of Bob Moss and Zoey Salad-ana.)
David castlehoff
While in high school, Dana White met and fell in love with David Wong. After a few months the couple decided to get married. Dana insisted on getting married at sunset on the ocean on a yacht. The big day finally arrived and both families joined together to head out for the wedding. The captain of the yacht, checked the weather and saw a storm brewing. He advised the party it was not safe to travel out, but Dana and David both insisted they were going to get married on the ocean at sunset, so everyone loaded up and the boat departed. Sure enough just as the captain was performing the ceremony the storm hit, and the boat capsized killing everyone aboard. The next day the head of the the NTSB, Mr. Perry made this statement. It was a stormy night. So many Wong's and Whites. Neither would change their headstrong ways. The sea was in a rage. The captain turned the page. Their dying wasn't worth what they paid.
David Feta
Credits : My date
It should be named David Lee Broth
I'm still getting used to calling her David.
"Dad am I adopted?"
"No, you're David. Why would anyone name you 'Adopted'? Even if we wanted to, your name was already 'David' when we adopted you"
Hey guys my friend is opening up a new bar and is looking for some food name puns. We were looking for some help from Reddit. Here are some of the names we have so far
Anymore suggestions will be appreciated
I would like to combine a Bowie song lyric/title and a business involving cakes and flowers but I am really bad at puns. If I could get some help that would be awesome. I mostly would like the pun to revolve around cake, but if it could include that and flowers that would be amazing.
Also awesome: David Bowie song titles/lyrics that are already applicable (i.e. "Sweet Thing")
I'm super awful at puns so any and all attempts are much appreciated!
So I had to pack up a bowl at work today and while i was doing so i annoyed my coworkers with every bowl based pun i could think of
"Hey guys, if we put doritos in here would they have a BOWLder flavor"
"If i lost all my hair would I have gone BOWLD"
"we could fill this with rocks and call this a BOWLder"
"I really like the music of David BOWLie"
"we can slide this at some pins and call it BOWLing"
"what if we were sending this back to BOWLing green Kentucky"
"we can fill it with air and call it a BOWLoon"
"I'm just trying to fit in guys, all i wanna do is BOWLong"
"Of course i think you're telling the truth, i guess you can say I BOWLieve you"
This is just in the middle of a chapter and isn't even acknowledged by the surrounding passages. It's pretty baaad if you ask me. But really, thanks to this picture I will never forget what a shear transformation does.
Textbook is Linear Algebra and Its Applications by David C. Lay, since for some reason I feel like I should probably cite it.
David: I lost my id card
Dad: So i guess i would have to call you Dav from now on
Bob.
What do you call his cousin who does the same in the ocean?
David....
David Buoy...
David Justice (MLB Commentators provide an endless flow of Dad Jokes)
David Bowie is reported to be opening a pop-up one time food stand next Saturday in Santa Monica. There will be Gyros, but just for one day.
Me: You sure I have to go tomorrow?
Dad: Yes. The family is expecting you. Just talk to David and he can help you out.
Me: Roger That
Dad: No his name is David
When I die, I would like my body taken to an ice creamatorium. Then, I would like a traditional sundae service. (credit to David Sedaris)
One of my kids walked up and asked if I wanted to hear a joke, here's how that went.
"Mr. tman916x my friend David lost is I.D.! What should we call him?"
I don't know, what?
"Dave!"
Needless to say I was pretty impressed.
During the Q&A at a David Sedaris reading:
Audience person: where are all the places you've lived?
David Sedaris: hopefully where they're supposed to be.
Jonathan Davis brought the corn and Fred Durst made biscuits but they were a little too limp. Marshal Mathers wasn't prepared, so all he could provide was some M&M's. Neil Peart had to leave early because he was in a rush, and the meal was so bad that it disturbed David Draimen.
He told me to put my retirement money in a David Lee Roth IRA
David Lee Broth.
Announcement came over the intercom- "flight such and such last call for boarding, paging customer David Matthews." I turned to the guy next to me and said, "hmmm, he must have had some trouble getting his guitar through security." The look on his face after a few seconds... Quite satisfying.
Mom: I'm going to have a frank discussion with her.
Dad: Who's Frank? I though her husband is David?
... I told him I just wanted him to be 100% David.
This was from high school before I became a dad, but I think it still qualifies.
My history teacher was lecturing on the Paris Conference following World War I. Specifically, he was discussing each of the world leaders in attendance and each of their aims for the treaty that would result from the conference.
He was going down the line of leaders and asking the class what each leader wanted in the treaty. For example, "Britain was represented by Prime Minister David Lloyd George. What did Mr. George want in the treaty?"
He got through Britain, France, and Italy, then he came to the United States, represented by President Woodrow Wilson.
He asked, "What did Mr. Wilson want?" I responded, "Dennis out of his life once and for all?"
He and I were the only people who laughed.
Me: "What's for dinner, I'm starving."
Dad: "Hi, Starving. I'm Dad."
Me: "NO! My name is DAVID. There is no 'starving' in my name."
Dad: "Oh okay. My mistake, No Starving David."
God damn it, dad...
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