A list of puns related to "Crime Scenes"
Is that technically a die-agram?
Because there was a kid napping.
They keep getting away with murder.
They weren't just chasing a serial killer, they were chasing a mass murderer
They just ransomware.
A police officer walks into a crime scene. There’s an opened jar of artichoke on the kitchen counter. “we have a lead”, he says.
I thought if this “joke” while at work yesterday. english isn’t my first language so im sure someone can word it better.
They concluded the man was just killing time.
It was jarring.
Fresh Prints
As they're searching the room they realize the pillows are missing. They decide to focus the entire investigation around the pillows. And so began: The Pillowcase
He was charged with helping the criminal get a weigh.
It's their WEB site!
They walk in and see a man standing over a body with a broken neck. So they take the man into questioning and ask him why he did it, the man said “It was a snap decision”
They ran-some-where
Most people are dying to see him 🤷🏻♂️
It became an accessory to the crime.
It was a real casual T
We were trying to get the full story but we think there's holes in it.
Detective: You need to take this seriously Me (laughing): I am picks up leg bone Me: I found this humerus!
While we were having brunch, I took a delicious bite of a Smoked White Sturgeon Tartine and said "Mmmm, I love capers." My husband replied, "Is that why you watch all those crime shows?"
He still retells that one, because he's so proud of his best dad joke yet.
He was charged with assault and battery.
Two were from Germany, the third was Czechoslovakian. They were about two days into their hunting trip, having a good ol’ time when two bears come out of nowhere and devoured the three hunters.
Crime scene investigation was called in after a couple of hikers stumbled across the bloody campsite, and the detective came to the conclusion that the two Germans were eaten up by the female bear.
When asked how he knew, he pointed behind a tent where the second bear was sprawled out dead, with a foot sticking out, and he said, ‘well, if you do a dna test, you’ll find that the Czech is in the male.’
Thank you. I’m here all night.
The police investigating the crime scene says that the details are sketchy.
That's gotta be the fastest time that we have arrived on the crime scene
I wrote a little skit for my grandkids let's see how much I remember. CHUM 8 news Ted Hammerhead reporting with sky Chompter traffic report. Top story, a lone shark, who is a loan shark is alone in the dark making loans to sharks! There is a new place to gamble, the place is full of sharks who turn out to be card sharks playing card games with sharks on the cards. Imagune the dogs playing poker for this story, but it's sharks. The other reporter asks Ted Hammerhead how he did on his recent drivers test, Ted responds "nailed it". Crime scene where a clown has been killed and the Detective states, " No way a shark did this as they taste funny". On a comment about the victim. I never did the weather or figured out names for the other reporters we used to laugh and laugh at my stupid puns.
Edit: I can't spell fixed typos
11.45 : arrived at crime scene
11.45 : Examined body. Signs of struggle
11.45 : Found murder weapon in drain
11.45 : Realised watch was broken
.
.
.
.
.
My son: but this is not a dad joke.
Me : what is a day joke then?
My son : when the joke becomes a(p)parent.
When the police showed up, everything was in disarray. Employees were panicked. Family members were present, and crying. The lead detective approached the scene of the crime to see what happened. Milk was spilled all over the floor, and spoons were scattered everywhere. The detective spoke after a moment of thinking and said, “This appears to be the work of a cereal killer.”
How did they know Will Smith was at the Crime scene?
He left Fresh Prints
She had come home with a bag of groceries and in it was a bunch of broccoli tied together with some yellow rubber tape. It kind of looked like a crime scene when she laid it on the counter. So I asked her, "Did you hear from the eyewitness that saw this broccoli murder?" She said No. So I say, "One guy saw two other broccoli gangsters roll up and shoot the guy. Then they both jumped in their car and the gangster told his driver to floret
So bad, but it got her good.
I think they just ransomware.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.