this makes me crabby
πŸ‘οΈŽ 128
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/blot_plot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
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What does Grandpa call Grandma when she's crabby?

Old Bae.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/scarecrow53
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2020
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I thought the ocean was crabby.

But it was just being a little salty.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2020
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I took a lobster out for dinner

When he saw the main course, he sure looked steamed!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Luxara-VI
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
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Crabby Boss
πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mr-gem-524
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2017
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Crabby Joke

A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.

When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/edg0023
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2018
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What do you call a Jewish crustacean?

A Crabbi.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/squags
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
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Like, laterally.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Candlefrog_king
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2019
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Dad put us in a crabby mood.

We were watching a doco on swarms. There was a part on land crabs going to the sea for mating season.

Narrator: "But how do they get to the sea?"

Dad: "Sideways."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/metalbassist33
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2014
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What Mr. Crabs wears under his pants?

Crabby panties

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/farquaadschin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2020
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What do you call an annoyed lobster?

A frustacean

πŸ‘οΈŽ 121
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheCraddingGuy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2019
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I once caught a fish with a hundred dollar bill in its mouth.

I know this story may sound a little fishy, some of you may even consider it a whale of a tale, but if you take it in tide I’m sure you’ll sea the porpoise isn’t me just beingkoi or * squidding* around or fishing for attention; it was shrimply an act of cod that I’m hooked on sharing with others. If it reely makes anyone crabby or puts me on thin ice, just let minnow and I’ll gladly clam up. I’d hate to see this sub flounder or take a dive because of my own shellfish ambitions.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MC_Minnow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2020
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Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie ?

He was too far out man.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/colepatrick1111
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2018
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What happens when you eat too much seafood?

You begin to feel a little eel.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2020
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I am going to go to school to become a marine biologist at age 55...

I know it sounds fishy, but I really think it will help to be less crabby, get out out of my shell, and have a porpoise in life.

After all, the world is my oyster!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tripsteur
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2019
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Why don't lobsters like to share?

Because they're shellfish

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2018
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Why shouldn't you wake a crustacean up early in the morning?

They're always a bit crabby

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/McKrabby7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 03 2019
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Trump misspeaking can lead to some interesting puns
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sherbetholmes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2018
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So two crabs are walking

And one crab says, "So Jim, how's the wife?"

The other crab says "You didn't hear? My wife died last week"

The first crab replies "Oh, I'm so sorry, it sucks that you are a widow now."

The crab says "No I'm not, I'm a crab."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xilef1111
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2014
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I saw an upset crustacean on the beach yesterday...

He was looking pretty crabby.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Morighant
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2018
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Proud of my daughter

We were eating dinner at a local crab restaurant in Maryland when the baby at the table next to us started crying. My 8 year old looked at me and asked "daddy, do you think that baby is crabby?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nub98
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2016
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Got the cast of a show I'm working on

During notes for a show I am working on, they mentioned something about pots and a character. In this context, they cook crabs, lobsters, and clams on stage.

Me- Well, that will certainly make Sue crabby.

They booed me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thisisasubtext
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2015
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Got my wife

We have a new baby. It was bed time, and he woke up, and she was a little upset about it, he was tired and crabby.

I rubbed his head and kissed him thrice between the eyes, forcing a blink reflex, from which his eyes didn't open.

"I am the baby kiss-perer!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/omrsafetyo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2014
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What do you call a Jewish crustacean?

A crabbi.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MatthewMarcooooooux
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 21 2019
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