My gf and I are both 23 and we've been living with each other since for like a year (since we graduated college). We decided to live with each other to to see if we are compatible in that way. However, we are not married!!! Like we agreed to keep our finances separate etc.
So the conflict: my gf and I signed a 3 year lease together and my parents were very generous and offered to cover my half of our downpayment and pay the subsequent halves of my rent on the condition that I put into a retirement fund and the subsequent rent payments into it too. I eargely accepted their generous offer. This has went on for a year and then it came up naturally in a conversation (my gf was talking about how she wish she could save more and asked how I was saving so much) when I told her she flipped out.
She told me that it was really unfair that she wasn't able to save much while I was able to. I told her that we agreed to keep our finances separate until we got married. She continued to get mad and then suggested what I was afraid she would when we first signed the lease that we both pay a quarter of the rent and let my parents continue to pay half. I told her plainly no because my parents did this to allow me to save and they gave me specific conditions. She got really mad at me and we just slept on it.
AITA?
Edit: while our salaries are similar, I do make slightly more
Edit 2: my girlfriend apologized to me about bitching out over this. She said that she overreacted and was happy that I'm aggressively saving but wished I told her about it.
Thanks for the judgements!
I've already posted this question a few months ago, but I am posting this once more because I got no answers. :(
German immigration peaked during the period of 1850-1860, with over 900,000 German immigrants immigrating to the United States. As well, it is reported that people from all over the world tried to enlist in the Union Army during the Civil War (though they were turned down because actively recruiting them would break neutrality laws) along with massive numbers of immigrants within the United States. (Out of 2 million Union soldiers, an estimated 543,000 were immigrants and another 317,000 were sons of immigrants)
This would mean that these refugees (many of which were in influential, high-level positions) would have a large influence on Civil War Era politics. So, what impacts did they have on Civil War Era American politics?
As well, some separate questions I have are:
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What percent of the German refugees would be sympathetic towards 48ers but not a 48er?
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Where did many of 48ers migrate to and why? (I've heard New York City, Chicago, Wisconsin, Missouri, and Texas which all seem like wildly different places)
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What general resources would you recommend so that I can learn more about the role German 48ers played during this time period?
Hi,
just a short piece of news:
The transcription of the Hamburg passenger lists 1850-1934, which can be found on Ancestry, is now complete. It took the (severely disabled) employees of the state archive in Hamburg who had been tasked with the transcription twenty years to transcribe it all. About 5 million names were transcribed from 555 hand-written ledgers. This has been reflected by the most recent update of the passenger list collection on Ancestry.
Ten per cent of European emigrants left Europe via Hamburg. About a third of Hamburg emigrants came from Germany, and about 80 per cent left the continent to seek fortune in the United States.
Note that there is also another great resource available - about 5 million names of emigrants who left via Bremerhaven can be searched here. Bremerhaven passenger lists have survived for the years 1820-1897, 1904, 1907. However, you have to pay if you want a pdf with the full result.
There are also Bremen passenger lists for 1920-1939 - earlier lists have been lost, except for a tiny range of lists, all of which can be searched here.
It’s not my first choice, but I’m ok with it.
This applies even if it were vice versa and you don’t want a serious relationship, while the other party does.
I’ve stayed single my whole life, and this year I was in several short term relationships that didn’t work out due to loss of interest, distance, etc. Needless to say, I was heartbroken a lot and really had to pick myself back up, but I also realised how so many heartbreaks could’ve been avoided if I only knew this, and acted accordingly when first starting to date them.
I wanted Long term relationships, and really liked a guy, but was told to see how things would go. Because I liked the guy, I settled for this even though I knew deep down that I wanted certainty. The guy was not a jerk, he was honest about not wanting to tie himself down so quickly and irreversibly. He wanted to see how things progressed, and didn’t want to dive head first into things. That’s not a bad mindset to have. But for me, I knew that at that time, I wanted someone who liked me enough that they weren’t afraid to invest themselves in this. Despite this, I liked the guy, so I went along with this and dated him for several months and was left insecure and unsatisfied. We had several conversations throughout the course of dating each other where we talked about the commitment, and he still showed no signs of budging, but because I liked him, I stayed on, and continued feeling unsure all the time. But was that his fault? NOT AT ALL. He treated me well and we had amazing times together, and I am in no way trying to villainise my exes. I was a CLOWNNNNN and I stomped over my own feelings because I liked him, and I smiled and pretended like I was okay with how things were when it was killing me inside. If you’re really okay with it, then sure, good for you, stay on and see how things go. But if you’re like me, constantly hoping for more, and feeling disappointed, then it’s your own fault for putting yourself in that position, and you should leave.
The truth is this: there are plenty of people out there who want exactly what you want. And you shouldn’t compromise what you want out of a relationship to match someone else, just because you like the other person.
You guys MIGHT work out, but that’s not definite. What IS definite is that you two want different things. It doesn’t matter even if you guys have great chemistry, similar interests, etc. You guys want different things? You’re simply not compatible at this moment. So don’t be afraid to walk away. Don’t be afraid to st
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Many leaving the church over the past decade have claimed that the church did not openly discuss seer stones when they were growing up. Some have extended this claim to include all of church history - claiming that the church has never been open regarding the actual translation process of the Book of Mormon.
I conducted what I believe is an extensive and close to exhaustive search of official LDS publications looking for mentions of the seer stone. I excluded references to Hyrum Page's seer stone. I complied what I found into this document. My writing is terrible, but hopefully the list of sources will be useful to someone. I conclude that there was a period between about 1905 and 1935 where the church was relatively open about the fact that a seer stone was used, even though they weren't completely honest regarding all of the details.
I also created an overview presentation which discusses how the narrative regarding the seer stone and its use in the translation process has changed through the years. It is available here. Comments and feedback welcome.
We viewed a 4 bedroom property advertised by Romans Lettings for £1850 pcm in Guildford. The family fell in love with the house and we made an offer of £1750 pcm. Then the nightmare started.
We were in the process of selling our old farmhouse so Romans wanted a reservation fee of £1000 for the new letting, payable immediately, which would be deducted from the first month's rental. But if we decided not to proceed, or had poor credit, or couldn't prove we had joint earnings of 30x rent (30x not a typo!), or our references were not acceptable then the reservation fee would not be refunded. WTF!
Then more non-refundable charges: £698 admin fee, £152 checkin fee, £195 guarantor fee, and £144 if we moved in within a week, plus £60 if we moved in on a weekend.
A further £224 for Romans insurance which would be refunded if we got our own insurance before moving in.
Deposit was £3500 because we had pets.
At the end it would not be allowed to continue as a periodic tenancy. If we wanted to renew the fee would be £132.
So that was just under £6000 needed for the first month! We ran away faster than the Road Runner from Wile-E-Coyote!
Rented from a private landlord and first month was £1800 + £60 reference/guarantor + £2700 deposit.
And we moved in on a Saturday ;)
