Mariah Carey is opening her Christmas present
And inside she finds a deed to an undeveloped plot of land that is zoned residential. Disappointed, she sets the deed down and says, "I don't want a lot for Christmas!"
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
It's Christmas day. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land.
With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".
What’s a Christmas present’s favorite sport?
Which musician gives the nicest Christmas presents?
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.
I saw my son snooping around where we've hidden his christmas presents
And he found out he got coat
Ironman's favorite Christmas present this year were rockets he can fire from his feet.
He calls them missile toes.
What's the best Christmas present money can buy?
A broken drum.
You just can't beat it.
What’s the best Christmas present you could possibly get?
A broken drum... you can’t beat it
My favourite Christmas present this year was a broken drum.
You just can't beat something like that.
Wait, looks like the Christmas presents are singing...
Oh, they're covered in rapping paper.
Christmas is the present holiday.
My son was surprised when the present I got my wife for Christmas wasn't an instrument
...I told him I was giving her an upright organ
What do you call the terms and conditions on a Christmas present
I’ve got the best Christmas present
A cardboard box, just what I wanted
Last year, my wife was so angry that I forgot to buy her a Christmas present, but that's not happening this time, because I bought her present two months ago! It's all wrapped up, sitting under the tree, waiting for her on Christmas Day!!
She's going to love these flowers!
My mom just called me Eminem because my Christmas presents were so beautiful...
A guy buys his friend a very rare type of thyme for a Christmas present
The friend sees it and says
"You shoudn't have got this. It's super rare and expensive. I'm probably going to use it for cooking anyway. It gives very nice flavor."
The guy responds
"Well if you're going to cook with it, better be now. There's no thyme like the present"
You know, son, Christmas isn't about the presents and the decorations and stuff.
My buddy just gave me glass cookware from Jamaica as a Christmas present.
It is Pyrex of the Caribbean.
Christmas Present
My wife got me with this.
Me: You can do my Christmas shopping at a used bookstore.
Wife: I did, I ordered it from Amazon it used to be a bookstore.
I’ve decided I’m not going to buy my mother-in-law a Christmas present this year.
She still refuses to plug-in the chair I bought for her last year.
Early Christmas present from my son
So we're putting up the Christmas tree, one of the pre-lit ones. For several years the tree and I have battled over getting all of the lights to work. As I hit the switch and groan in dismay as several strands don't come on, my son pops up with "Gee dad, looks like that tree has you stumped".
It's been several days and he's still laughing at his own joke.
Why don’t strings get any presents for Christmas?
Because they’re always on the knotty list.
Buying all christmas presents in early december...
Wife's Christmas present to me
Dad joke book.
"Customer:"why is the coffee so muddy?"
Server:"It was ground yesterday."
Rudolph dressed up for delivering presents on Christmas day
Santa: “Hey Rudolph! You’re looking fly today!”
Rudolph: “Oh Santa, you sleigh me!”
2 friends raced to see who could get their Christmas presents ready the fastest.
What's a rappers favorite Christmas present?
What’s a Christmas present’s favorite music?
What’s the best Christmas present you could possibly get?
A broken drum... you can’t beat it
What’s the best Christmas present you could possibly get?
A broken drum... you can’t beat it
Why is a broken drum the best Christmas present ever?
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were
not-E.
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum. You just can't beat it.
Who brings baby sharks their presents on Christmas?
Just thought of the ultimate Christmas present...
... a broken drum, you can't beat it.
What is the best Christmas present ever?
A broken drum
.
.
.
.
.
Wait for it...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You can't beat it!
Christmas is the present holiday.
Christmas is the present holiday.
What's the best Christmas present?
A broken drum. You just can't beat it.
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