Chain smoking Puns

My Nmom (F53) gathered my brother (M23), sister (F21) and I (F28) on a conference call tonight to tell us some news.

After falling asleep in front of a space heater a few weeks ago (which she didn’t feel because she let her diabetes get so bad she no longer can feel her feet), she developed blisters. She popped those blisters, and they got infected. And now the infection is in her bones and they’re literally cutting off a huge chunk of her foot and all of her toes.

She gave us this whole song and dance about how she’s “quitting smoking immediately” and “taking control of her blood sugar” as if she does anything else beside chain smoking Pall Malls and eating fun size candy bars, chasing them down with Coors Light.

She said that she “needed our support” but told us not to worry about coming home (none of us offered to or are planning to) and she’s depressed right now and angry at God. I lost it.

I screamed at her. I told her God didn’t cause this - she did.

I asked her if she remembered the last time she kicked me out of her house despite me paying the rent and all of the bills. She had just gotten a quadruple bypass and told me to “keep her accountable.” So when I found her stash of cigarette cartons, I called her out on it. And she fucking threw me out. I had to move in with my abusive girlfriend’s family hours away or face homelessness. My dog had to be sent to a rescue and adopted out. It wrecked my life for years; I was 21.

I told her she was a narcissistic idiot and of course she’s getting her toes cut off. I told her us was disgusted and so ashamed of her, and that the only one to blame is herself. I was shaking with anger.

I told my Nmom point blank that she deserves to lose her foot. I don’t think I’m ever going to talk to her again.

He got confused since there is no explicit word for virus in Arabic and now he thinks it’s an intestinal parasite which is why it is “invisible”. Close enough I guess. Anyone else have ancient family who doesn’t get it?

All of the films but H2O had Michael breathing like he was a chain smoker.

Had a couple beers tonight. Hung out with some smokers. Even did a couple lines of coke. That shot would usually have me lighting a new cig with the last. Just fucking inhaling a pack in like 2 hours.

I don’t know what happen tbh. This was a weird year. I quit weed after 20 years of being high early 2021. haven’t smoked weed in like 8 months. Went through CRAZY withdrawal for months, including depersonalization and constant panic attacks. I‘m actually good now!? Who would’ve thought!?

Two months ago I kinda slowly got used to the idea of quitting smokes some time in the future. Don’t really know why. Loved smoking. I still do actually! My body just started rejecting those cigs. I‘d get dizzy more often, I’d almost faint sometimes just from havin a drag. Weird.

Anyway, some day I just didn’t smoke. Just like that. That’s actually nuts. Same with the weed. One I just got up and it wasn’t even a question if I’d smoke up or not.

Why am I writing this? Well first of all I’m proud of myself. Tonight I texted my sis I really wanted to smoke pack of cigarettes and it was kinda not to give in and just accept one of the 20 cigs that were offered to me.

But also, secondly, it’s not as hard as I would’ve expected it to be. It seems like it was just my time to give up those things.

For the last 10 years, at least, I regularly struggled trying to quit weed and cigarettes, mostly because of social pressure. But also because i felt lethargic and depressed.

What I’m trying to say is, I think there’s a time for everything. If you‘re young and confused and feel guilty for your addiction, don’t beat yourself up too much. Keep trying. One day it‘ll just click and it’s gonna feel easy. For that to happen, you need to keep trying though. That’s the frustrating part.

I‘m still troubled by demons. I’m not trying to be a saint, preaching about sobriety. Hell no. I‘m currently drunk and coming off some really good coke (I might even do another line). I‘ll always love drugs and substances and I‘ll never judge anyone for their choices and decisions.

I‘m just saying. If you fell frustrated with yourself because you wanna change shit but can’t; give it some time.

Fucking awesome you fuckers, I’m 35 and smoke free! My teeth went from yellow to white in like 6 weeks! I can run for an hour straight without feeling like dying. I can sleep again without having smoked like 3 joints! That’s insane! Not tonight though probably.

Keep having fun my friends. I‘m Pretty sure this

My wife and I live in a corner unit condo in Reston. A late 20's/early 30's resident of our building has made himself quite comfortable outside our windows for 30+ minute-long chain smoking and phone conversation sessions. Loud, obnoxious conversations full of profanity and his escapades as a gun owner. Chain smokes a minimum of 3 "100" cigarettes.

I asked him to please refrain from smoking there in the fall, as I wanted to enjoy some fresh air during that goldilocks period when the weather is freakin' perfect. He acquiesced for a couple weeks. However, now that the weather has become colder, and the windows are shut, he's back. It would be one thing if he grabbed a quick smoke (one cigarette) every once in a while, but he has made it a habitual occurrence where he spends, at minimum, 30 minutes chain smoking and holding obnoxiously loud conversations. We can hear every damn word he says, and can still smell the smoke through the windows due to the way the wind blows (it always goes towards the building/windows... there is just no getting around it)

There is a park directly across the street from the spot where this guy has taken up residence, it's not like there is no alternative smoking spot. There are benches, and cigarette butt receptacles. And to be fair, I smoked cigarettes for 15 years, but quit a little more than a year ago. I hate to be 'that guy', but god dammit, I don't want to be forced to smell his smoke because he feels like being lazy. I never imposed my habit on anyone, why should this guy?

Last night he returned for the 4th or 5th time that day for his 30-minute smoking sesh, around 9pm. Around 930, he was still there, smoking and talking loud as hell on the phone. We made it a point to roll up our blinds and make eye contact with him as a way of saying, "hey dude.. it's 930, go away." He walked off, not before muttering something to the effect of, "are you F'ing kidding me" and smirking at us.

So this morning I emailed the HOA board as well as the GM for the property with my complaint plus photos of him posting up outside our windows. I don't know what else to do about this besides waiting for him to return and go outside to personally confront him for the 3rd time. And then after that, do I call the police? I would hate to resort to that, because I'd be the latest model in the ever-expanding line of FFX co tattletales.

Have you had a similar experience with someone? What did you do?

EDIT: a lot of commenters assum

I'm seeing his sister in law and this guy literally spend all day and evening watching TV in the common areas, often so loud that I have to turn on a fan and stuff a towel at the bottom of my bedroom door to cover the intrusive noise. Even then, if loud enough, I can hear it. When not watching TV, he's drinking in his garage or chain smoking outside.

His behavior drives me nuts as I can never sit quietly for a meal, I always need to deal with noise in the common area (open space ground floor), leading me to spend more time in my room self isolating. I was talking to the SIL (woman I'm casually dating) and she says she and her sister were talking normally and the smoker acted all annoyed that they were talking, in the living room , "disturbing" his TV watching. He even sleeps on the couch until morning when he then finally goes upstairs to his bedroom and sleeps a few hours just to start again. He also gets so drunk he passes out, and when he is awake he insults his wife at times.

Short of moving out, I don't know what to do. His SIL told me his wife disapproves and it's led to fights.

May 2015 had pain for 3 days before going to ER. Was told that I have gallstones.

After that initial ER visit, in hindsight, I realized I had several previous attacks over the previous 2-3 years.

I had a follow up with a GI who wanted to remove my GB. I elected to diet and exercise instead. Lost 100 pounds in a year and was managing fine.

Gained most my weight back by 2019. Noticed I could piss my GB off pretty good after bouts of rich foods and alcohol.

2020 after Thanksgiving, and a week of binge drinking, I thought surely I had pancreatitis. I went to a doctor who checked only my amylase & lipase, did no imaging, and diagnosed me with alcohol gastritis.

June 2021 after a weeklong bender, I had what I thought was gastritis again. Didn’t seek medical attention. Spent several days with GI issues, one of them freezing cold wrapped in a blanket blasting the heater bc of chills.

I have been binge drinking and smoking since Thanksgiving this year; with a couple of no alcohol days here and there. I only smoke when I drink, and I chain smoke. And the drinking leads to poor food choices.

On Dec 19th my stomach started getting mad. I figured I had just given myself gastritis again. Also having intermittent dull ache and bloating. Yesterday morning, I vomited once, then was nauseous all day. I drank 4 beers and smoked yesterday evening, yet again.

Was nauseous again this morning, but didn’t vomit. Decided to fast for the most part today. Had only water and small bowl of tomato soup. Stomach upset in waves. I have an appointment tomorrow to have bloodwork done. Going to ask for ultrasound to make sure don’t have any stones stuck in ducts.

Long dory short, I think I have alcohol pancreatitis and have had it multiple times, but it just gets looked over as a gallbladder issue. What ya think?

I’ve started to notice I love smoking cigarettes while sledding, also drinking because I’ve heard here it calms down anxiety without benzos. But lately I’ve noticed I’ll start with a line and feel fine, I won’t start to feel funny til after numerous cigarettes and alcohol. I’ll try to take a deep breath but I get the feeling not enough air is getting into my lungs then I start to panic. I put the rest of my lines up for tonight and laid down and after about a hour I felt better. Should I not smoke cigarettes anymore? Is this what is triggering the shortness of breath?

I read this book a few years ago in my local library, and it was wild from start to finish.

The main character was a grumpy, cynical, academically brilliant student who was trying to quit smoking. She had a hippy housemate who she treated with contempt who was trying to save a local wetland.

The main character finished all of her uni work months early, and had no social life. To distract herself from her nicotine cravings she started helping with her housemate's campaign, even though she couldn't care less about the wetland. I think she was also into her housemate's boyfriend.

Things escalated rapidly at the end of the book, and she ended up chaining herself to a tree and nearly getting arrested. I think there was a car chase, and maybe someone giving birth in the back of a van. The whole ending sequence was really strangely paced, and was only about 5 pages long.

I want to find the book. I recall it was really really funny, and the ending feels like a fever dream in my memory.

I can’t find any sources with a number for smoking them in one sitting, so I was wondering what y’all thought

I feel helpless and anxious and I could really just use some support right now. I’m doing this not only for my own physical health (which is decaying I feel like a corpse all the time and I have a constant sore throat) but for my loved ones too. My partner is very supportive but I’m so scared I’m going to give in and do it again. I know there are worse things to be addicted to but nicotine is such a casual drug that I feel like it’s inevitable for me to give in and do it again. I want to quit and stay done so bad but every time I’ve tried I’ve just failed. If anyone has any advice at all to help me get through this I’d really appreciate it.

I wonder if any of the cast either smoked before the show started or ended up smoking after because Lip chain smoked, Mickey chain smoked, Ian pretty much chain smoked. And to a lesser degree Fiona.

So I work at a very small, privately owned, pet friendly motel in central Arkansas.

Currently, Arkansas is not doing so hot with mitigating the Delta variant, so we reinstated our mandatory masking policy when in the office or interacting directly with staff.

Cue customer, we'll call her Lady, coming in an hour before check-in time demanding she be allowed to check in because she has two large dogs she needs to get into the room ASAP.

She enters maskless, completely ignoring the FOUR signs we have posted outside the office, and starts informing me of her needs.

But no problem, we have extra masks! As soon as I ask her if she has one...

"Oh no. And I can't wear those things. I have asthma. You should really list on your website that you're forcing people to wear those against their will." Etc.

But she does put it on (even correctly!) and we finish up her early check-in while her untrained large dogs knock over everything that's not nailed down in the office and she lectures me about how masks are a scam that the government is pushing on us and how they poison your lungs.

I look outside about ten minutes later and she's lounging in our patio chairs lighting a fresh cigarette off the one she has in her mouth.

Hopefully her asthma wasn't negatively affected by the five minutes she spent wearing a mask. The poor dear might only be able to handle half a pack today.

Hrumph. Jerkish people.

What causes a teenager to get such pronounced forehead lines and parentheses? Is it just the stark government lighting of the courtroom photos? Is stress really capable of causing it? Not the biggest issue on that table, and yet I wonder.

This time I taking a more gradual approached I guess well frankly I hadnt had any big plans or anything in concrete. But I have been systemically trying to foster self dscpline cause I am done with my life slipping thru my fingers I guess, also been taking supplements like vitamins, fish oil, NAC, l tyrosine, taurine zinc magnesium...also started workin out again which has been the single most enjoyable part of my day over the last week or so

Then I tried to use Quitsure, went thru yeah its basically Allen Carrs book on steroids . I lasted like a fucking 7 hours and just about had a the worst panic attack of my life. So I nixed the idea

This time I taking a more gradual approached I guess well frankly I hadnt had any big plans or anything in concrete. But I have been systemically trying to foster self dscpline cause I am done with my life sliping thru my fingers I guess, also been taking supplements like vitamins, fish oil, NAC, l tyrosine, taurine zinc magnesium...also started workin out again which has been the single most enjoyable part of my day over the last week or so

Well to cut a long story short I had picked up some On ouches the other day on a lalrk, to try and wouldnt you know even though I was so trained to be hitting my little vape crack pipe lmao a pouch could pretty easily keep me satisfied. So I kinda lazily let myself run out of pods yesterday and I have only used On. roughly 1 every 2 houirs I guess?

This has to be way less nicotine than I was consuming before and its barely bad yeah I can feel it hardly noticeable

Already feel like the hand to mouth action piece of the addiction before is just mostly gone?

I dont know how I am going to go about quitting this as well maybe in a week I lower strength maybe I just stop using at all I really need to quit ASAP honestly I am trying to be patient and not self sabotoge (again, cant be too fast but also cant stop aghhh its harrd) cause I have lif goals this is in the way of

Anyone else use pouches succesfully to quit? How did you end up doing it? I guess this would apply to any oral NRT as well (difference pouches are way cheaper lol)

I feel the structure attempt and supplements are helping me a lot. Once you so easily see the break in the habit related to the addiction it all seems so much more tackable

The adds from the “Truth About Smoking” organization (someone feel free to add clarity on if they’re an organization or just a campaign) are the cringiest, stupidest, most painfully uncomfortable advertisements I’ve ever seen.

It’s clearly a bunch of millennials attempting to understand gen Z culture and humor, and failing miserably. With their fake influencers, low quality tik toks even by tik tok standards, shitty dubstep background music, and overall swing-and-miss attempts at making it look cool to not smoke/vape, I would rather have lung cancer than see another commercial from them.

I don’t smoke outside of occasional cigars, and have never vaped. I would smoke a pack a day if it got their commercials off the air / internet.

To clarify, I am against smoking and vaping, and I am not encouraging others to take up these deadly habits.

So I've been working on this damn story for the last 5 years and I've finally realized I should just post it, and hopefully that would ignite a fire under my ass to complete it. Easier said than done though!
I am the sole creator so I write, pencil, ink, letter and edit the thing. Plus I work in the film industry so my 60 hour work weeks can be prohibitive to this kind of project.
Anyway, let me know if you read it and found it worth reading. Cheers

Read HERE

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