My dad, /every/ time he gets one of those wireless card readers to pay for bills at restaurants:

takes reader from waitress and holds to ear

"Hello?"

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👤︎ u/telswood
📅︎ Nov 16 2013
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Got dad joked hard while shopping yesterday

My dad and I go up to the cash register at a clothing store to pay for some shorts. My dad asks the cashier "Do you take chips?" (Credit card chip readers) Without hesitation the cashier goes "Yes sir and we have salsa to go with that" and holds up a fresh jar of salsa from behind the register

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👤︎ u/mkgator23
📅︎ Jul 30 2016
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At work the other day

We were talking about psychics and card readers. One of my coworkers was wondering about the costs. I said they probably cost a fortune.

👍︎ 7
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📅︎ Jan 23 2016
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Checking out at the register

I was ringing out a son and father at the register. I tell him his total is "seven forty seven" and the father replies "I didn't buy a plane!" and looks at his son to get a quick laugh, but his son wasn't having any of it. Meanwhile, I'm trying to hold my laughter because i know this is a typical dad joke. But that's not the best part.

He swipes his credit card and reads the credit card reader out loud, "Sign Below". He ends up writing "BELOW" as his signature and says out loud to me and his son "It told me to sign 'Below' and so I did". His son responds with "Dad you are so embarrassing" and I'm chuckling out loud cuz I've never seen anyone do that the 3 years I've worked there lol

TL;DR Dad writes "Below" as his signature because he took it literally as any days would.

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👤︎ u/deepholes
📅︎ Nov 05 2013
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Dad joke at Sonic

Ordered two frozen drinks at Sonic, go to swipe my card and the card-reader is out of order. Girlfriend asks if I have any cash, so I open the ash compartment in my car and pull out a 5 dollar bill.

"I didn't even know you kept money in there!"

"Well you aren't supposed to know about it, just like any good slush fund."

👍︎ 8
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📅︎ May 09 2014
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How my dad pays for groceries... every time

Credit card reader says Please Swipe Card

My dad, "Why would I swipe it, I already own my card"

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👤︎ u/Pattastic
📅︎ Jan 14 2014
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