I don't know what I ate lastnight, but when I woke up, I crapped out a sparkwheel, a valve, a spring, and a piece of flint.
Afterwards, I felt a little lighter.
The plumber told me I installed the valve on my water softener wrong
I felt completely invalvidated
You know what grinds my gears?
you know what drives old people up the wall?
I accidentally turned a wrong valve in the factory which disabled the central cooling system and increased the temperature abruptly. I wasn't able to do anything, so I fled the scene immediately.
The police are now charging me for a 'Heat and Run' incident.
You know what really grinds my gears?
What do call a bike trail that shows no empathy.
As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself...
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
I just drove my new car out of the lot only to find the reverse gear broken.
There’s no going back now.
The Three States of Metal Gear.
My dad saw an ad for game with heavily armed animals. He asked me what they gave the naked mole rats.
I told him stealth gear and a go bag. He is an exposed double agent.
Me and my dad went fishing and didn’t lose any gear. However we found a free net.
I guess you could say it was a net gain
Based on a true story
I spent a long time searching for high intensity workout gear.
I must have bought the right clothes, even my tracksuit pants.
What do you call a Russian Spec Ops in Exercise gear?
Sting’s studio was broken into, thousands of dollars worth of gear stolen
Now the Police have no leads.
You know what grinds my gears?
Shifting them improperly.
Tesla just started production of medical gear to support hospital workers...
The Elon Mask is their first product.
This Metal Gear Solid pun
I've been looking for some new hunting gear but good camouflage is hard to find.
I heard Jeremy Clarkson isn't coming back to Top Gear
You know what really grinds my gears?
Worn out synchro rings in my manual gearbox.
In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Mt. Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.
Since then, the steaks have never been higher.
I saw a man wearing full camouflage gear today.
He needs to get his money back.
Someone has been leaving this stuff in my carport and then the neighbours complain about the mess. They’re really giving me the gears.
Why are Russian cars so terrible?
Because no matter what gear they get Putin, they seem to always be Stalin..
You know what really grinds my gears?
Bought a gear building set for my kid
Heard it improves their cognitive skills
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore
——————————-
Best ocean to play sports in?
The Golf of Mexico
I saw a street artist who painted gear shifts
You know what grinds my gears?
You know what really grinds my gears?
Do you want to know what really grinds my gears?
I drove my new car out of the lot only to find that the reverse gear is broken.
There’s no turning back now.
You know what really grinds my gears?
I drove my new car out of the lot, only to find the reverse gear broken.
There’s no going back now.
I drove my new car out of the lot only to find the reverse gear broken.
There’s no going back now.
I've been looking for some new hunting gear.
Good camouflage is hard to find.
I just drove my new car out of the lot, only to find the reverse gear broken.
There’s no going back now.
I've been looking for some new hunting gear.
Good camouflage is hard to find.
You know what really grinds my gears?
No pushing in the clutch all the way.
You know what really grinds its gears?
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