My ex is going through a hard time so I decided to send a food-focused care package.

Fed Ex.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smolprincess928
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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My 5-year-old daughter got me good today

We received a care package full of snacks, and I explained to her it was from "my friend in Canada." Without missing a beat, she asked with a smirk,"Your friend's name is 'Incanada'?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeromig
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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90s Eurodance group Technotronic recently bought a factory that manufactures all types of fruit preserves

However, there was an issue with getting the preserves into the packaging phase as the manufacturing plant was downstairs and the bottling machinery was upstairs.

After carefully reviewing the process, the group settled on a solution.

They decided to Pump Up The Jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlduinIsAGeordie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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Crumbs - just happened

My kids got these chocolate covered ants cookies for Christmas. They asked me to open the package and I said be careful with crumbs, I don't want ants in the house.

Nobody but me was amused.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZER0EFFSGIVEN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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Cure for Boredom

Ok so here's what you do.

Go onto Amazon or Ebay or whatever and purchase a small dog cage. Make SURE that is is made of either completely STEEL. Nothing else. Get advanced shipping or whatever gets it to your door as fast as humanly possible. Now wait patiently for your package to arrive. Once the delivery person knocks on your door to get you to sign for your package tell them to wait until you open the box. If they seem leery of you explain that you have had trouble in the past with your parcels and you just want to make sure that your order is correct. Open the box and remove the cage from the box. Inspect it thoroughly. Now LISTEN CAREFULLY! This is the part you can't mess up. Look up from the cage and stare into that poor delivery person's eyes. Like so deep you can see their ancestors. Say these exact words. "I knew it... I can't believe I ordered a nickel less cage."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Endangerd_Box
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
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Dadjoked my Roommate

My roommate got a care package from his mother who sent him various odds and ends from his old place and some food that she made herself.

Roomate: "Whoa, sweet, she packed in some Jams too. Look, there's strawberry, apple, mango and blackberry."

Me: "So you're saying that box was jam-packed?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeadbuttWarlock
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2015
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Flowers

After I left for college, my mom threw away the flowers and stems of my plants, but she saved the rest. She pressed them in paper to preserve them and sent them to me in a care package.

I asked, "Mom, why would you do that?"

She told me, "I just want you to remember your roots."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kafkaesc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2016
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Dadjoked my husband today

While cleaning out the pantry last night, my husband asked if I can see when the container of dates will go bad as he can't find a "Best if Used By" on the packaging. I take the container from him, look at it carefully and reply "Apparently, these are no expiration dates".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lipdoo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2015
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