Do you guys know what the most popular car in South Boston is?

A Wicked Smart car

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/souphead420
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?

"It's more than a ceiling"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lillerz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I received a verifiable threat against my Boston cream pie

So I had it placed in protective custardy

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeisureSuitLaurie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My boston terrier loves chewing on a giant dog plushie.

I guess it's a dog-eat-dog world.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CringeChilly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Well he must be from Boston..
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/9xbuddy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do a cab driver in Boston and a tourist in the capital of Bangladesh have in common?

They're both in Dhaka

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bandito210
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the Boston Tea Party illegal?

It was destruction of Private Proper Tea!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Found in a bathroom, just groutside Boston.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/homerj681
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
At the MFA in Boston today
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RicePaddyFarmer69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Boston Cream PD
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fawaffle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend from Boston if they wanted to walk to the store...

He said, "Avocado." So, we drove.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OleDetour
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/schaefy_
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
So a Californian man has been in Boston for quite some time and has picked up on their accent a bit.

He was discussing vehicles with his friend and his friend asked if he had a truck. The Californian man responds, β€œno, but I avocado”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fireflamingos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I met a snooty dude at a party in Boston, and I asked him β€œDid you go to Harvard?”

He said, β€œYale”.

I said, β€œI SAID, DID YOU GO TO HARVARD?”

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?

because the horse was too heavy to carry

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImARiceBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Boston Dynamics home-protection robot that failed to stop intruders due to faulty shoulder bolts?

It was easily disarmed.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I always wanted to name my kid Thustorm, and teach him to play hockey well enough to get him scouted by Boston...

...then I could say "Thustorm's a Bruin."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/asphaltdragon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a crow in Boston communicate with a crow in Los Angeles?

Long distance caw

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Cow wash is just car wash with a Boston accent
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I need a new fan for my bedroom so I tried using this gift card at Boston Pizza. They did not make me a fan.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DanSag
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
🚨︎ report
In Jamaica they sell apple pie for $2.50, chicken pot pie for $3.50 and pecan for $4.00 Puerto Rico they sell Boston cream pie for $4.00, chocolate cream pie for $3.00 and blueberry pie for 3.50. In the Dominican they sell chicken pot pie for $4.00, apple pie $3.50, and blueberry for $5.00.

And those my friends are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whoathunderroad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I tried the Van der Graaf static electricity generator at Boston's Museum of Science.

It was a hair raising experience.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the locomotive conductor that ran the boston marathon?

He had to do a lot of training.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/All_That_Ass
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I want tibia your Valentine because you are so acute! (thanks Museum of Science Boston!)
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bonniebo421
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the colonist say at the Boston Tea Party?

The price is too steep!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?

Tea Shirts

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Boston Knock Knock Joke

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Arch.

Arch who?

Bless you.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Two friends from Boston

Two friends from Boston getting ready to go to a party, Mike and Doe. They decided to make a few large sized bowls of guacamole for the party since there were going to be several people there.

It took them some time to prep and make, but in the end they had about five punch bowl sized bowls of guac. Mike looked Proud of their accomplishment but his friend started to freak out.

"How are we going to get this to the party? We can't take the bus, or the sub, and we sure as hell can't walk all the way there! Mike what the hell are we going to do?"

And Mike said.

"It's ok, Avocado."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustinTabb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
🚨︎ report
The drummer for Boston died this weekend. I guess his heart problems were...

More than a feeling.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/meme__creep
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2017
🚨︎ report
How would you describe the worst trade the Boston Red Sox ever made

Completely Ruthless

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hbsquatch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows in the Greater Boston area recently.

There was concern that they might have died from Avian Flu. An avian pathologist examined the remains of the crows, and to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely not avian flu. The cause of death was vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the birds beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that nearly 96% of the crows had been struck by trucks, while only 4% were car impacts.

The MTA then hired an Ornithological Behavourist to determine the reason for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills vs car kills. He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat roadkill, they have a look-out crow nearby to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the look-out crows could shout "Cah!", none could shout "Truck!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisissami
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
🚨︎ report
I was cooking a Boston Butt and kept making jokes about putting rub on my butt, and patting my butt dry.

My wife said, β€œI’ve about had enough of the butt puns.” I replied, β€œWould you say I’m being a pun in the butt?”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/catfish_bosoms
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What would someone from Boston call a big pile of boxes of chewing gum?

A mass o'chew sets.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
🚨︎ report
Heard this one on a trolley in Boston...

The tour guide was telling us about the Boston molasses disaster, or as he called it…the Boston molassacre!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ldawg092498
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2012
🚨︎ report
Went to dinner at Boston Market last night.

They had two types of corn bread and my mother and I were trying to figure out what the difference between them was.
I looked at her with a grin slowly spreading across my face and said "maybe one is cornier."
I had to go outside for a minute because I was laughing so hard at my own joke.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coolsleeves
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2016
🚨︎ report
I'm smoking a boston butt today

It's the Pork of July!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckrockuhtree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
🚨︎ report
What's an unmanned military drone in Boston called?

Robot in da skies.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FyreFlu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2015
🚨︎ report
Boston pizza has some punny employees
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gamer6663
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2014
🚨︎ report
There's a bar called Church downtown Boston

Yesterday (Saturday) walking around the city

Me: Where do you wanna eat?

Her: We could go to Church

Me: Church is only open on Sundays

She hit me, that means it was a success right?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eaglessoar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2015
🚨︎ report
I walked past a Boston Terrier today.

It bahked at me.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tugboliass
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2015
🚨︎ report
What did the Boston pirate say?

Nothing. Because they can't say arrrrrrs.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/musikguru6
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad just emailed me this article about a crow problem in Boston

CROW KILLS

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck." Absolutely amazing!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dysenterygary69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.