A friend told me he was studying abroad.

I replied "Blonde Or Brunette"?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BartChryslerIsFat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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Designated Driver

I'm not usually one for bars, but since the smoking ban in Illinois, they're not so bad. I'm not much of a drinker either, but this one place in particular offers free soft drinks for designated drivers of groups of three or more. You have to get them from a location separate from the bartender. You declare yourself upon entering the place, then your hand is marked, and from that point, you're not allowed alcohol, but you get the free soft drinks.

Their specialty is their own brand of a mixed fruit drink that's really good. It's popular enough that you're usually standing behind six or seven people to wait your turn. So, Saturday night, while I'm waiting for mine, this cute blonde walks up behind me. I figured I'd try to be witty and asked her, "Can I buy you a drink?"

She scowled at me with, "Well aren't you the funny one?"

"What's with the attitude?" I asked her.

"Sorry," she said. "It's them." And she thumbed toward a table with (would you believe it?) a brunette and a redhead.

"Why?" I asked. "What'd they do?"

"I'm just getting sick of it," she said. "Every time we come here, it's always me in the punch line."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Myntrith
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 15 2015
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Roadtrip dad to dad joke

Visiting the grandparents with my parents, we decided to take a long drive out to a place my grandpa hasn't been a long time.

Grandpa: Last time I was out here a cougar ran across the road right in front of me!

Dad: Was it a blonde or brunette?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/beefsalad17
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 28 2014
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