Black match Puns

“...don’t go with anything.”

My dad never makes “dad jokes” but, he actually said this yesterday and I’m so proud.

So the other week the lady and I went for a hike up in the Berkeley Hills and we came across some cows. There were two cows that were affectionate towards each other and their hair colors matched ours (she has red hair, I have black) and she said oh look, that's us if we were cows!

Fast forward to this morning. We were lazy getting out of bed (one too many fernets last night) and I mentioned we should pay a visit to our cow buddies.

She replies with the biggest shit eating grin I've ever seen her do: "Dont you mean our COW-nterparts?!"

I had to push her off me and get outta bed after that one. (Mostly jealous that I didn't think of it)

I was looking for a belt that matched my suit coat for a job interview and I ask him if he has a black belt I can borrow. He says, "Nah, I've never really been that good at karate"

Touche.

My sister and I were talking about getting matching tattoos, and she mentions that she's going to get a matching tattoo of a black cat with her friend.

Sister: "You can get a cat, too." Me: "I would love a cattoo!"

Sighs and groans ensued.