A heavily pregnant woman walks into a bar in the middle of summer and orders a big glass of ice water. "Boy it's a scorcher out there," she says to the bartender. "Sometimes I wonder if it is too hot for the little guy in here." "Oh I wouldn't worry about it," the bartender replies. "It's probably just womb temperature."
It was a big Oar deal.
"Honestly, I'm a big fan!"
It was a big ash explosion
It was as big as the last two combined!
He replied βIβm a big metal fan!β
A big IT
I heard it was a big feet of engineering
It still amazes me how they get the jars that big.
... unless they put their big-girl pantheon.
.... The cows aren't getting three square meals a day.
(Also, to those who tell dad jokes at every opportunity, I really appreciate you. As a person who grew up without the joy of a pops embarrassing me with terrible jokes, I was always bewildered by the stereotype. Recently though, I've been taking a microeconomics course I was dreading having to take and my professor has "big econ dad" energy. There's a joke every few minutes in his lectures and they give me the energy to keep going. You are appreciated. Even if your kids, spouse, partner, friends, strangers groan at you, undoubtedly someone out there really appreciates your goofiness).
...heβs really a big lyre.
Itβs kinda a big dill.
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus....
(This probably makes more sense if you're British.)
Doing his rounds one day and when he got to the bird enclosure he noticed a load of the birds had died. Unsure as to what he should do with the bodies he tossed them into the big cat exhibit.
The next day he was cleaning out the primates and noticed the lifeless figure of an ape laying on the floor... not wanting to perform a proper burial and besides- he wasn't earning much more than minimum wage anyway so he tossed it into the big cat enclosure.
On his third day the zookeeper came across his colleague who kept bees, it seems they'd got sick and a lot of the hive had perished. Not to worry, the zookeeper scooped them onto a shovel and tossed them into the big cat exhibit. It's the circle of life he thought to himself.
The next day there was a lot of excitement in the zoo. A new lioness had arrived. The lioness stalked out of the trailer...sniffed at the unfamiliar lion next to her...
"So, what's the food like in this place then?" She asked awkwardly.
"It's actually not that bad" replied the lion. "Over the past few days we've had Finch, chimps and mushy bees"
Badum tssss! Β―_(γ)_/Β―
Yeah, for any non brits that read all that: Fish, chips and mushy peas is a classic English dish. So...yeah...that's the joke.
I don't care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe!
It was a pretty big wedding. As it turns out, melons cantaloupe.
I called for the janitor and told him it was kind of a big dill
"I'm looking for quite a big tub of hand gel," he said.
"Here's one," I showed him, "this is 250ml."
He said, "Wow, that's far too expensive."
Cyclops growled, "My life is just a big joke to you, isnβt it!?"
It was snow big deal.
They're big metal fans
Dig a big hole, Fill it with ashes, Sprinkle peas on top, When the elephant goes to take a pea, Kick it in the ash hole.
It was a big missed steak
My kids have gotten to saying this a bunch, so now I reply like a dad...
"Oh ya! We went to the same New Year's party once."
"Sure! He makes the best crab dip."
"Big beard? Lousy tipper?"
"The tattoo guy?"
"Biblically."
"Gave him a 5-star Uber review."
"He was the best man at my wedding."
"I think I owe him $20."
"The bouncer at the club!? How do YOU know him?"
"Doesn't he work at the bakery next to PetSmart?"
"I heard he once punched a cop and broke his nose!"
I know you big beautiful bastards can help me think of something. Could any of you make a pun about chickens watching cartoons or kids shows
They're big metal fans.
Pessimist: "That cup is half empty." Engineer: "Why are we making the cups so big?"
But the margarine for error was too big
....and I'm terrified that the chute might not open.
Last time something that big crashed onto Earth, the dinosaurs got wiped out.
....the next time I pooped I had a vowel movement. But I'm a bit worried that all the other letters still haven't come out. It's been a while now so I went to see my doctor. He said it wasn't a big deal. I was just a little consonantipated.
Big mistake
but then i say "no its a big one on his eye"
it was a big bang.
Did you guys know that the guy who was recently pepper sprayed by Portland's mayor is a big dairy heir?
and the flag is a big plus too.
I donβt know. But the flag is a big plus.
"I'm a big metal fan"
I don't know but the flag is a big plus.
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus.
Well, the flag is a big plus.
Well for starters the flag is a big plus...
