What do you call a guy who has better than 20/20 vision?
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︎ Apr 01 2021
"Amanda Laurie-Anne"? You can do better than that...
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︎ Jan 19 2021
I asked you to pretreat those pants, you better not try to make the puppy do it..
or else I'ma start singing "WHO LENT THE DOG ZOUT"
(Alright I think these are out of my system... no promises)
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︎ Jan 04 2021
What do you call a pasta that's not too bad but could be better if it was cooked a little longer?
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Do you guys think if a seahorse did better in school
It would be an A or B-horse?
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︎ Aug 22 2020
Why do space rocks taste better than earth rocks?
Theyโre a little meteor.
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︎ Mar 19 2020
What do you call ham that feels better?
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︎ Apr 30 2020
A guy I knew asked me how he could do better in bed.
I told him to try harder.
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︎ May 06 2020
Where do sick horses go to get better?
They donโt. They get shot.
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︎ Apr 23 2020
The stock market probably do better in the winter...
More people have colds = more people eating soup.
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︎ Jan 10 2020
Why do teams with the strongest defense do better in bed?
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︎ Feb 23 2020
I was reading posts off this sub to my dad, and he sarcastically said, "do you know what's better than reading reddit? having it read to you." I replied,
"well, this way you don't have to have read-it."
(this genuinely happened about a minute ago, he actually left the house)
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︎ Feb 17 2019
Better do it when you get there.
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︎ Mar 03 2019
How do scientists get better breath?
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︎ Oct 23 2019
Why do Mexican men get better positions out of college?
Because they can apply for seรฑor positions
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︎ Aug 22 2019
Where do sick boats go to get better?
To the dock.
Heard it this morning on the Irish classic fm. Loved it!
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︎ Jun 28 2018
Better do what he says.
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︎ Jan 28 2019
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: Thatโs on a need to mow basis.
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︎ Jul 10 2019
How do you make cheese even better?
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︎ Aug 25 2018
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better
if every fifth caller was a winner
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︎ Feb 13 2019
What do you give an injured Arabian to make him feel better?
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︎ Apr 21 2019
What do you call a massage therapist who believes men are inherently better than women?
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︎ Sep 30 2016
What do you call an exact copy of you that smells better?
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︎ Sep 14 2018
Why do the trees have a better democratic system than the U.S.?
Because they elect their leader based on the poplar vote
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︎ Jun 19 2018
2018 was cool and all, but what if I told you I can do one better.
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︎ Jan 01 2019
How do you make Gouda cheese a little better?
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︎ Apr 13 2018
How do you make a sea creature sound better?
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︎ May 05 2018
My friend Abbey told me that she's "heard them all" from "crabby Abbey" to Abi-one Kenabi. It's her birthday and I know we can do better.
Comment your best "Abbey" puns. Bonus points: her last name rhymes with "long". Or... dong, I guess. So.... long.
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︎ Apr 27 2014
Why do eggs-benedict taste better in Amsterdam?
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︎ Mar 21 2015
Why do free-range eggs make better comedians?
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︎ Jan 27 2017
What math do you have to do to make cheap toilet paper better?
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︎ Oct 16 2015
Why do moon rocks taste better than earth rocks?
Because they're meteor
(โ๏พใฎ๏พ)โ
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︎ Nov 21 2017
Why do moon rocks taste better than Earth rocks?
Because they are a little meteor.
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︎ Nov 27 2013
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