Some insist on a shirt.
Others insist on a pair of socks.
The argument always ends in a tie.
Spelling. (sic)
One upon a dime...
"No thanks, just looking around."
"Sense us."
YOUR NUTS?!?!?
Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.
The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.
Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, βDarling, don't you think itβs time to tell him heβs adopted?"
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
Tennessee
He looks down and sees that a full-grown elephant is slowly clambering up the tree. When the elephant finally reaches the branch the squirrel asks, "Why on earth did you climb up into this pine tree?!"
The elephant then says, "I came up here to eat some pears, of course."
The squirrel, completely shocked at the elephant's ignorance, exclaims, "You elephants don't know the first thing about trees! This is a PINE tree, there are no pears here."
The elephant then explains, "Oh, I know, I brought my own."
Relative humidity.
I hope it won't be too rough.
"Dijon...."
My wife just took a pregnancy test that came up positive. After the initial shock she turns to me and says " well, happy Sunday."
Without missing a beat I say "or perhaps daughter day."
It has begun
Coworker walks in after getting off a heated phone call with her boyfriend. Coworker: "I swear, some people don't make sense." Me: "I prefer making dollars instead of 'cents', make more money that way."
Most of them hate me up here already, so I figured, "Why not?"
