A Chinese tourist went to a bank to trade some currency. He gave the teller 1000 yuen and got $160 in return. A few days later he went back to the bank with 1000 yuen and got $140. He asked why the difference in conversion?

The teller said fluctuations. He said fluck you Americans too.

πŸ‘︎ 730
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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I recently got fired from a bank teller position when asked to check a client’s balance.

I pushed them over.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ncumer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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A midget who was a fortune teller robbed a bank

The call went out that a small medium was at large

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EndymionMM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I went to the bank and asked the teller to check my balance.

She shoved me pretty hard but I didn't fall down.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, β€œGive me all your money or you’re geography!”

The teller replies, β€œDon’t you mean history?”

The robber says, β€œDon’t change the subject!"

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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I went to the bank teller and told him I wanted to change banks and open an account.

Man: No problem Sir. What’s the name of your previous bank?

Me: Piggy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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I asked the bank teller why the guy sitting at the next window was wearing a mask & a cowboy outfit?

She said he was the lone arranger.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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A guy walks into a bank, walks up to the teller and asks, β€œHave you ever gone someplace and forget what you’re there for?” The teller looks at him, her eyes getting larger and larger.

The guy scratches his head with his gun saying, β€œI hate when that happens.”

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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Bank tellers can also be called...
πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nimja_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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What did the baker say to the teller while robbing the bank?

β€œSorry, but I knead the dough!”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bach563
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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I was once fired from my job as a bank teller

I still don't know why the woman got so mad when I pushed her over to "Check her balance."

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QQtippy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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Have you heard about the bank teller who killed a robber with a bag of change?

She nickel and dimed him to death.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chickenugget_TM
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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A Man In a Ski Mask Walks into a Bank, and Pulls out a Coffee Cup at the Bank Teller.

The Bank Teller Goes: " Are you Trying to Mug me?! "

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Powershroom64
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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What did the French bank robber say to the bank teller handing him money?

"Baguette"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KreonTheSleepy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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What did the recluse say to the bank teller when he needed money?

Leave me a loan!

πŸ‘︎ 163
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
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Why are bank tellers so zen?

Because they stay balanced.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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An old lady walks into her bank and asks the teller "Hey sonny, can you check my balance?"

So he pushed her over..

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freakinhuge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2015
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Dadjoked the bank teller

I need to deposit some money in my mom's account, my name is on it too. hands her id

Her: does your mom have a last name?

Me: yes she does have a last name.

She's young and really embarrassed

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jascarn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2015
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Bank Teller got dad joked pretty badly by my dad

Leaving for vacation and my dad cashes in his coins he's been saving. We bring the voucher up to the teller.

Bank Teller: okay sir how would you like your money?

Dad: US currency preferably

Bank teller: long awkward pause as she gets him money

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Notsoh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2014
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A man walked into the bank and asked the teller to check his balance.

So she pushed him.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsBunnyPants26
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

.

.

.

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 583
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goboatmen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2013
🚨︎ report

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