I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

#Eastern Union

##Yugoslavian Confederacy

> As you may know, we are dealing with intense pressure to bolster our armed forces. We are requesting some minor pieces of more modern technology in order to defend ourselves from clear German aggression in our part of Europe. With this equipment, we hope to bolster, primarily, our anti-air capabilities and work on improving our rapid response capabilities in Eastern Europe.

• Aérospatiale Gazelle
• Minstral 3 MANPAD
• Crotale SAM
• Puma

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

The EAF is to under go a significant overhaul of its forces and organization. As it stands the current organization of the military is archaic and up until this point the most effective method of undergoing serious operations has been to mix men and equipment to best fit the mission. So for this reason the first and foremost thing to do for the Federation Defense Forces is a ground up overhaul of its divisional structure.

Army:

The first task is to increase the Army size from 82,500 to 125,000 men. While this seems like a big jump in reality our military has been small in comparison to the size of the population, to the point where many pine to join the armed forces but cannot due to size restrictions.

During and After this large boost of soldiers the concept of Combined Arms will be implemented. This essential means that all the following divisions will have a diverse offering for any conflict from anti insurgent to conventional land war the divisions will, at the battalion level, be a mix of armor, artillery, light army, robot, and infantry seamlessly integrated to have maximum efficiency. There will be a total of 10 divisions with 10,000 men each. With this an emphasis will be to integrate the Glitch RM1.0-C in a combat support role.

The final two divisions will be a Marine warfare division designed to deal with the myriad of different amphibious warfare challenges faced by the EAF in regards to the many large lakes, rivers, and the ocean. Additionally the other division will be the Special Forces Division which will encompass the current paratroopers and the commandos in the EAF.

Finally a new unit of 5,000 of the top soldiers selected from the Special Forces Division will make up what will be the cream of the crop. These men and women will be the dedicated guards of the chancellery and be the combat arm of AXE. These individuals will also be utilizing 1000 of the GK Gwin power suits purchased by the EAF. This unit will be known as the Walinzi.

Air Force:

The Air Force will be broken into Type Model Series (As much as possible) squadrons to streamline the training a capabilities of each Squadron

Pilot on me!!