The roofing business in my town is offering an excellent promotion.

If you buy one roof, it’s on the house.

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Excellent customer service.

I bought a T-Shirt the other day but it kept giving me static electric shocks every time I tried to wear it.

I took it back to the store and they kindly replaced it with another one free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PringyUK
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Pregnant horses would be excellent in a race

They have twice the horsepower

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Money_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I like to torture my friend's with excellent puns. These are the responses I *live* for. reddit.com/gallery/ms1o2z
πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Erasmusings
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
This next joke is about automotive aerodynamic surfaces...

SPOLIER ALERT!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sludgemonkey01
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
"Gloria in Excel sheets Deo"
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nakikibaka
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A number kept moving around on my Excel spreadsheet

I found out it was a Roamin' Numeral

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I just called GameStop Customer Service...

They asked me to please Hold. πŸ’ŽπŸ€²

πŸ‘︎ 19k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/myfourthuser04
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Cloud Services
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EnsilZah
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a service helping people break up with their significant others over dinner

I'm calling it FedEx

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RN_Rhino
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Why does Utah have such poor cell phone service?

>!Not enough bars!<

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mikebellman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Spiders are excellent programmers,

They're just so great at debugging

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Bill and Melinda Gates got divorced. Melinda got the house...

But Bill kept the Windows

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScubaPride
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Thousand and thousands of years ago, during the last ice age, there lived an animal that excelled at trigonometry, geometry, and could recite Pi to 100 decimal places. It was known simply as.....

.....the mammothematician.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

Me: "Word".

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KimJongEwww
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my MS Office License.

I will find you. You have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Regclusive
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
The geometry major proved to be an excellent gardener...

...due to his extensive knowledge of tree angles.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SegavsCapcom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do women have a difficult time working for the postal service?

It’s mail-dominated.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SecondRateHack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m excellent at wrapping presents...

It’s a gift

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChuckySPWN
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Incelephant.
πŸ‘︎ 287
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Onyxdime
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
🚨︎ report
How does a salad begin a religious service?

Lettuce pray.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My Word
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anukrit_Subedi
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A river is just a cloud based streaming service...

that's all folks

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/philosoaper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Channing Tatum is starting a new internet service company.

It's called Channing Tatum Channeling Datum.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fireburner80
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a grizzly say when he calls customer service?

Just bear with me

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my parents I was bisexual

My dad asked, "so you like both men and women?"

I responded with, "yeah, but I'm not seeing anyone right now"

He said, "so you must be on stand-bi"

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Me: Someone told me that there’s a fruit that’s an excellent source of potassium.

Her: That’s bananas.

Me: Yeah, I was shocked too.

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I started a bird food-delivery service in my neighborhood

I call it grub hub

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/batmanjerkins
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Why does cryptocurrency customer service sucks?

Because all they do is hold

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WillHe_BonkYa
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My mom’s sister runs the local candlelight services for the community

She is a vigil-aunty.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Samwyzh
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
The Final Catholic Service

The Final Catholic religious service right before the world is destroyed will be held in an ICBM silo.

They'll have Critical Mass.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOldGuy59
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I can’t do good work in Excel without getting compliments,

I really need the validation.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can't Welshmen be in the intelligence services?

Too many leeks.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw an add for Tinkle radiator service.

The #1 place to take a leak.

It is in Des Moines look it up!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend's daughter made this. I call it the "beach slap"
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/otakuarchivist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Get it ?
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FUNAVILENT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
An excellent opportunity
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/note_than62
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
An excellent pun
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/queenettt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Excellent work, ought to be celebrated
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zuuuuzuuuu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do snipers double as excellent actors?

They’re great at range

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
A mom joke really, as my wife said it as we walked passed an Easter service letting out where "Sunday finest" isn't a thing.

Me: "Really?! She wore ripped jeans to an Easter mass?"

Wife: "Those are her holy jeans."

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eaglewatch1945
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Amazon has started a new service where they deliver custom made shirts within 48 hours.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
what food delivery service is the most popular with insects?

Grub hub

(please don't shoot me)

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
You know, when you start Excel...

You know, when you start Excel, thats really when people start to spreadsheet.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_realkernel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to a restaurant, and the service was terrible. Plus they ran out of utensils.

I decided never to go back because they had zero forks to give.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bgva
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the hermit crab become a hacker?

He was really into shellcode

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A guy offered to document my life in Microsoft Excel, but I said no.

I don’t want him to spreadsheet about me.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

Me: "Word"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KimJongEwww
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

Me: "Word'

πŸ‘︎ 742
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KimJongEwww
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report

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