So two wind turbines are standing in a field when one asks the other βwhat kind of music do you like?β
The second replies βIβm a big metal fanβ
Courtesy of my 10 year old!
π︎ 18
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︎ Apr 20 2021
Two giant windmills are out on a hilltop. One turns to the other and asks, "what kind of music do you like? "
The other one says, "I'm a really big metal fan."
π︎ 26
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︎ Apr 29 2021
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks βWhat are you counting?β
And the guy says βhow many tattoos I have nowβ
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
A guy asks his friend, "Do you know how many people have died because of these masks?"
The friend replied, " No buddy".
π︎ 16
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︎ Nov 29 2020
If you ask me who 31 of the NFL teams are, I couldnβt tell you.
But I always Remember the Titans.
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 13 2020
Two ninjas are sneaking up on their target when one of the ninjas asks the other: "do you think you can hit him from here?" and the ninja says:
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 18 2020
What do you call a salamander that asks a lot of questions?
π︎ 15
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︎ Jul 21 2020
I won a duel last week with a block of cheddar cheese. How you might ask?
Because it was extra sharp.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jun 11 2020
A woman checks out of target with two apples, a banana, and a quart of ice cream. The cashier asks, βAre you single?β The woman replies, βYes, how could you tell?β
βBecause youβre ugly.β
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 28 2020
There was a herd of cows on this big hill. A big gust of wind came by and blew all the smaller cows away. Puzzled, the rancher went up to one of the bulls that were still standing and asks,"How come you bulls are still standing?" The bull replies...
"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 16 2020
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging out of his pants. The bartender asks βDo you realize you have a steering wheel in your pants?β
The pirate replies, β Arrrgh, itβs drivinβ me nuts!β
π︎ 88
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︎ Oct 16 2019
I was at a concert of which a Scandinavian woman was playing on stage, one of my friends turns to me and remarks βI wonder if sheβs from Swedenβ another friend says βmaybe Norway?β My final friend asks βdo you thinks sheβs Finnish?β
I boastfully reply βI fucking hope not sheβs only been on five minutesβ
π︎ 30
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︎ Dec 12 2019
I am really scared of fence posts. Why you ask?
I have Post-traumatic-stress-disorder.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 13 2020
When someone asks you what the short form of "What the fuck" is
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 14 2019
You can ask Rick Astley for his collection of Pixars movies all you want
He's never gonna give you Up
π︎ 47
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︎ Mar 13 2019
A rope walks into a bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, βNo, youβre only a rope.β So he decides to disguise himself. He ties himself into a knot & ruffles his edges a bit. The next day, he walks into the bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, βOf course... Wait, arenβt you that rope?β
And the rope replies, βIβm a frayed knot.β
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 12 2019
Why does the person putting your groceries in a bag at grocery store always ask where you want your eggs and your loaf of bread?
Because baggers canβt be choosers.
π︎ 96
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︎ Aug 03 2018
Iβm trying to smoke and ask Erik for a light: βWhen you take a cigarette out of your pack, it becomes a cigarette lighter.β
π︎ 16
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︎ Feb 18 2019
Not a joke per se, but definitely fits - I texted my daughter "in a bottle" and then waited for her to ask "what's this I don't get it. How come out of the blue you just randomly send me the message 'in a...' ... I hate you"
Had potential to misfire but worked perfectly.
Also, the other day my wife left a Monster energy drink under her bed, and we waited for her to come and ask "ok who put this monster under my bed?"
π︎ 17
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︎ Apr 02 2019
If you ask a member of the NRA what they think about machine guns, be prepared.
They'll give you an automatic response.
π︎ 23
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︎ May 09 2019
If you ever need a bit of guidance in life always ask a geotechnical engineer...
They give the best advice on earth.
π︎ 20
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︎ Feb 06 2019
I asked my dad to bring me a glass of water, so he pointed at my aquarium and said "you have plenty" and walked out, and now everytime I ask for water he does this
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 08 2019
What's the highest form of flattery you may ask?
π︎ 19
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︎ Mar 08 2018
What do you say when someone asks you for the formula of nitric oxide?
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 24 2018
A dad is telling his son about how he immigrated to the US. Suddenly, the son asks: "Dad, how did you get out of Iraq?"
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 28 2018
Two guys are talking about life and one asks the other, βso, what do you do?β The other guy says βI own a chocolate factory and employ a bunch of oompah loompasβ
The first guy replies, βOh, Willy?β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 09 2018
There was a clothing art exhibit in my town's shopping centre. Someone made a pyramid of jeans. Pure artistic jean-ious if you ask me.
π︎ 134
π
︎ Dec 18 2013
What does the italian dish say when you ask it why its locked out of the house?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 16 2017
What's my opinion of Jimmy Eat World, you ask?
I'm kinda in the Middle about them.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 10 2016
My dad slipped on a patch of ice today. Being the concerned son, I ask 'dad, are you alright??'
To which he replies 'no son, I'm half left'
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 31 2014
Two wind turbines are standing in a field and one asks the other βwhat kind of music do you like?β
The other replies βWell, Iβm a big metal fan.β
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
Two wind turbines stood in a field one wind turbine asks the other wind turbine "What type of music do you like?" The other wind turbine replies..
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
2 windmills are in a field. One asks: "What kind of music do you like?"
The other responds: "Well, I'm a big metal fan".
π︎ 83
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
One wind turbine asks the other one βwhat kind of music do you like?β
The other one says βIβm a heavy metal fan.β
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
Two windmills are in a field. One windmill asks the other windmill: "What kind of music do you like?"
The other windmill says: "I'm a big metal fan."
π︎ 61
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
Rick Astley has a lot of Pixar movies, and he'll give you one if you ask...
...but he's never gonna give you Up.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 29 2020
Two windmills are standing in a field. Wanting to pass the time in conversation one turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?"
The second turns and says: "I am a big metal fan."
π︎ 75
π
︎ Feb 11 2019
A wind turbine is sitting in a field. Someone asks it, βWhat kind of music are you into?β
The turbine responds, βIβm a big metal fan.β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 06 2019
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan"
π︎ 101
π
︎ Jun 22 2016
What do you call a reptile that asks a lot of questions?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 12 2016
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