I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
They’re on standbi
Clearing out more records as I re-home them to new and loving owners. I hope people here benefit as my music collection shifts directions in recent months. I will continue to list some of my favorite songs and highly subjective descriptions of each record, slam book style.
Prices include shipping from San Diego, CA via Media Mail to CONUS. If outside CONUS, feel free to message me and we'll figure out a shipping price. Local transactions welcome at a discounted rate. Grading is (media / sleeve).
Out of fairness and expediency, I hold the item for the first person to message me with their PayPal e-mail address. I usually cancel invoices if not fulfilled within 24 hours and offer to the next person in line.
Heavy Hitters
>A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory
>
>$60 (sold)
>
>VG+ / VG+
>
>Sample Track: "Scenario"
>
>1996 remastered 2xLP with colored labels. A hip-hop classic: that kind of classic you really got into in college, that kind that makes you feel a tad bit better than everyone else in your dorm hall. I'd otherwise wouldn't dare to let this go from my hands, but it's looking like I'll snag the cassette version locally. Seems like most of my 90s hip-hop vinyl records have converted into cassettes these days.
>2 Chainz - Pretty Girls Like Trap Music
>
>$70 (sold)
>
>VG+ / VG+
>
>Sample Track: "OG Kush Diet"
>
>2 Chainz' best album in my (and pretty much most people's) opinion. It's a pride to own this album, but it seems for me that it's only appropriate to listen to in two scenarios: lifting weights in a warehouse-turned-gym at 6AM, or drunk in the backseat on a post-concert McDonald's run in Downtown. This is the original Urban Outfitters release on pink vinyl, #2695 in foil. Shrink wrap is preserved without rips to keep the hype sticker, though it currently resides gently outside the sleeve.
>Jimmy McGriff - Electric Funk
>
>$40 (sold)
>
>
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
Just to clarify, 12345678
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
But nobody ever mentions his sister, Onya, who invented the starter pistol.
When I got home, they were still there.
