My wife laughed, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math!" I shrugged and said, "You never know! Anybody can win the lottery." Folding her arms, she asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?" I shot back, "Yes!! 100%!!"

"A person always wins!"

👍︎ 11
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 01 2021
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Can you make me a sandwich?

Dad is in kitchen with bread and peanut butter, about to make himself a sandwich.
Me: Dad! Can you make me a sandwich? Dad: folds arms together and bows Dad: you are a sandwich

Every time I ask him to make food for me....

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/Hoglolly
📅︎ Dec 10 2013
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Wearing sunscreen?

Just got my co-worker with a doozy. They were out in the bay doing seagrass surveys when they came very close to stepping on a stingray. She was talking about the flashes of Steve Irwin's death going through her mind when I asked "you were wearing good sunscreen right?" "what?" she asked "sunscreen? Why?" "to protect you from harmful rays" I said with a smug look on my face.

She folded her arms and gave me a stern look. My boss and coworker could only shake their heads and laugh.

👍︎ 15
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👤︎ u/gross04
📅︎ Oct 01 2014
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