Yet another from my 10 year old: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
What do you call it when a candle eats another candle?
If you stink up another persons bathroom, you’re an asshole.
My 9 year old returns with another joke for you all!
What is the stupidest thing in the universe?
A black hole, because it's so dense!
Many years after the great flood, God came to Noah again and spoke: “Noah, it is my wish that you build another ark.”
Rather worried, Noah said “But my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?”
“No, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.” Said the Lord.
“Then why another ark?” Asked Noah.
“I wish for this ark to only house fish.” The Lord replied.
A slightly confused Noah responded “Okay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.”
“But not just any fish; only carp.” The Lord said unto him.
Noah, now more bemused, replied “Uh- okay my Lord.”
“One more thing.” The Lord said unto him “it needs to have multiple levels.”
“Are you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?” Noah pressed.
And God said:
“I want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.”
Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.
Son: Dad, do you have another blanket by you? I’m cold
Dad: Go stand in the corner son, it’s 90° over there
I did this in another sub and wanted to share it with you guys.
You know, it seems like every time I kill a gnat, another one appears.
So, I guess you could say they're appearing at the drop of a gnat.
Did you know what did the Grrman Bread said to another German Bread after tapping on his shoulder ?
Gluten Tag.
edit : i fucked up the title
What do you call it when a woman copies another’s boob job?
A therapist was with a client when another client burst in and said, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep having a nightmare that I'm stuck inside a deck of cards."
The therapist looked at him calmly and said, "I'm with another client. I'll deal with you later."
A man asked another man " would you like to go on a date ? "
He said it with a straight face
My date asked, "Do you have family in another country?"
"Yes," I replied, "unless they're in the ocean."
If a Youtuber collabs with another Youtuber than I guess you could call the video a...
What do you call it when you move a rabbit from one spot to another?
Dad, will you tell another dad joke joke please?
Father last time, I said no!
It doesn't matter if you're black, white, old, young, tall, short or even if you're from another country. It's what's INSIDE that counts!
Why should you never grab another person's facemask?
It's a 15 yard penalty and automatic 1st down.
When you make unintended puns in another subreddit. So I guess they were intended after all.
i have a girlfriend from another nation? do you know where she's from?
"Cheer up, you could be a replacement stake in the ground for barbed wire to stretch upon," said one new joke to another.
"Yeah, I guess I could be a repost," said the other new joke.
You guys want to hear another joke about butter?
Idk it's pretty long... I was thinking about shortening it!!!
We were eating dinner tonight, when my daughter said to me, “I see your glass is empty. Would you like another one?”
I said, “Why would I want two empty glasses?”
One potato looks to another potato and says "Are you a sweet potato?"
The potato responds "I yam."
Did you know that Mrs. Doubtfire could have just as easily have been another title
'Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dad'
I was at a concert of which a Scandinavian woman was playing on stage, one of my friends turns to me and remarks “I wonder if she’s from Sweden” another friend says “maybe Norway?” My final friend asks “do you thinks she’s Finnish?”
I boastfully reply “I fucking hope not she’s only been on five minutes”
Boss: "what's that?", Me: (with much enthusiasm) "it's a SPACE BAR!!!!!" *wets myself laughing*, Boss: "...................." *delivers withering look* "are you allowed to stick things on your laptop?", Me: *dies inside at another badly landed pun*
What's it called when you're reeling in a fish you've just caught, and another one comes along and eats it?
Another one for the IT crowd (if you got this, you are old - sorry)
Son: If you make another lame joke I’ll hit you with the neck of my guitar.
My girlfriend lives in another city. Last night she texted me saying "I wish you were here; the rains are beautiful".
I replied with "So...you want me to c'monsoon?"
She hasn't replied yet.
Guess she stormed out.
So a vowel saves another vowel's life. The other vowel says, "Aye E! I owe you!"
Another cow joke, proudly brought to you by a six year old:
What do you call a cow that’s fallen asleep at a construction site?
A bulldozer.
My niece, currently living in another country, asked: Can you vote when you are abroad?
Me: You can now that women got the vote.
What do you call it when you eat a tiny bit of another person?
What do you call it when you go back for another helping of ice cream?
A man asks another man to lend him $10 until next pay day. The second man says “sure, here you go. when’s next pay day?”
“I don’t know, you’re the one with a job”
One turbine asked another, "what sort of music do you like?"
The other turbine replied, "I'm a big metal fan."
You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the merry-go-round!
What do you call a Pig that eats another Pig?
Did you hear the NBA is opening another franchise in Miami?
It’s not the Heat... it’s the Humidity!
What do you call a sound moving away from you that is identical to another sound?
A man asked another man, “What’s the term for when you ask a question without expecting an answer?”
The other man didn’t answer because it was rhetorical.
What do you call a cannon that eats another cannon
What do you call an otter living in another otter’s dam?
Waiter: I see your glass is empty. Would you like another?
Dad: What would I do with two empty glasses?
What did one wind turbine say to another when asked, “what kind of music do you like?”
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