Which animal has the biggest breasts
What do call an animal that knows if you're lying?
How did Noah fit 2 of every animal in a single boat ?
State-of-the-Ark technology
Who always gets blamed for letting the farm animals out of their pens?
My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns...
'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
....
It was a shitzu.
EDIT: For those who say it's "stolen", i had no idea. A friend of mine told me this one yesterday and i just had to post it. That's it :)
What is the coolest animal?
Frogs, they eat Fly for breakfast.
Which animal runs all day and smells of pork?
I think animal testing is a terrible idea...
They get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
What's a cow's favorite animal?
I really thought that animal was a horse, but then I asked it "Are you a horse?"
What’s America’s favorite animal ?
My ex actually has 3 spirit animals:
My Roomba accidentally went outside our front door, and the neighbourhood animals immediately started attacking it.
I went to an exotic petting zoo with Boy George. He wasn't at all impressed with their limited range of animals.
He started pointing them out to me.
"Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon."
++++++++++++++++++
I thought of this today while driving and smacked my wheel as I giggled. My girlfriend stared at me, bemused and confused.
I like it. I'm proud of myself.
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
Whats the difference between a human and an animal?
You can legally put down one
I have a problem. My wife steals animals from the zoo and hides them in our house.
I tried to bring it up but she didn't want to discuss the elephant in the room.
My daughter keeps putting my golf visors on all of her stuffed animals
She told me they call her the queen advisor
What do you get when you cross a milking animal and a mathematical device?
As a newly qualified vet, I'm now allowed to treat animals.
Yesterday, I took a herd of cows out for drinks.
What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?
What do you call a Scandinavian who does eat animal products?
Norvegan!
Edit: doesn't, not does. I'm a donkey
What animals love to live in a sewer?
A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken...
I saw a big animal during the safari. I think it was an elephant
I asked my farmer friend, “Can you explain how I can gamble using farm animals?”
He said, “You bet your ass.”
Did you know that the fastest animal on land is the ostrich?
Actually, it's not but the fastest one is a cheetah
Which animal won’t share the shrubbery?
What area of mathematics are farm animals proficient?
I’ve started an organization that grants scholarships to former armed services individuals that want to become animal doctors. Grantees are awarded based on an interview process.
I call it “Best bets for vetting vets for vets”
What marine animal is famous for their alternative hits?
What’s the most naked animal?
What is the most musical animal?
Sent my dad a picture of animals gathered on a hill. “Wild turkeys?” “Nine deer, dad!”....
“I didn’t know you spoke German!” he replied
I showed a picture of a sheep giving birth to some kids and asked if they knew what animal it was.
Which animals are the easiest to embarass?
Which animal is a spiritual leader in a game farm?
Sloths are the most social animals.
They always want to hang out.
One day a guy went to an aquarium , but they had only one animal
What's the most inappropriate shaolin animal kung fu style?
I’m drawing a picture of a zoo animal, but I’m not finished yet.
It’s just a rough giraffe.
From which animal does Hormel make SPAM?
Finding Nemo was good but seriously talking animals?!
The premise, the movie, Nemo, it was a little fishy.
What’s a Nazi’s favorite kind of animal?
What kind of animal is good with numbers?
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