An Ode to 2 Dead boys!

One broad day in the middle of the night, 2 dead boys got up to fight! Back-to-back they faced each other, they drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise so he came and shot the 2 dead boys, if you don't believe my story is true ask the blind man he saw it too!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mylar321
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card

Itโ€™s been oolong time since my mum was born,

About Six-tea years to date,

Chai as you might, you canโ€™t possible list,

her cupious amazing traits

Her balanced demeanour

Her Kindness and (earl) grace,

rooibost sense of humour,

too many to name in this teany space,

to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,

letโ€™s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,

While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,

Itโ€™s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gurlonreddit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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Did you hear Old McDonald's new poem?

It's an E I E I Ode

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cheerfulsith
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DontFuckWithMyMoney
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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