Because 7 was a registered six offender
A pouch potato
My co-worker just bought a new Kia Forte. We were heading to lunch one day and he drove. While in the car I say to him, “Man this is a nice car, I was going to ask if I can drive it, but it’s not my forte”. He usually hates the dad jokes but I got him with that one.
He was outstanding in his field.
Then I realized my whole life was a joke.
I was at my BILs wedding, holding my daughter while everyone was setting up. I overheard one of the groomsmen asking another what they were doing and he said:
"I've got to get the song ready for when they walk down the hill, so I'm going to find the speaker down there and sync."
To which I asked: "What are you going to sync about?"
Groans. A now crying baby.
Perfect.
I’ve had a ruff day.
They put me in the ICU
Vlad The Inhaler.
Is always just a whim away.
It’s really going to send their daughter in two directions.
A barkitect.
This
"Do Not Touch"
They're calling it Navi-Gate.
With a pumpkin patch.
You should look into it
Tequila mockingbird!! I thought of this at work yesterday idk whats wrong with me lol
So no one can judge us by our covers.
You cut a hole in the ice and scatter peas around it. When the polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the icehole.
That was one my dad used to tell, so it's 100% genuine dad joke.
It’s a dad-ly disease.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads that get me though my day to day life, without you Dad Jokes wouldn’t mean a thing 😉
Put some spring water in it
A maybe....
Courtesy of my 5 y/o daughter.
It was a gripping performance.
Because if you served it warm, it would be Justwater...
Cause they always strike out!!!
Because they are good conductors
About a buccaneer
One day, I hope to be a bouillonaire!
I can’t believe I’ve been saying it wrong my whole life
You follow the fresh prints.
They can't seem to stomach seitan.
Might be an old one that someone else's said but it made me chuckle.
So, I asked him: What’s up with the paper towels?
The Pirate said: Aarrr, I have a Bounty on my head
Because the pregnant one has two horsepower.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
