During lockdown, I managed to connect virtually with a Lion, Giraffe and Rhino all at the same time.
These zoo meetings are really taking off.
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︎ Jun 22 2021
All races are the same
Usually the fastest guy wins
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︎ Jun 02 2021
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
Thereβs a city where all the people have the same blood type
The capital of Taiwan. Theyβre all Taipai.
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︎ May 17 2021
All lego architecture is the same
The siding's always made of brick
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︎ May 17 2021
Recently, I've been driving my wife crazy with how many friends named Fred I've been making, and they all look the same, no less. That said, one day a man rang our bell, and my wife, relieved that he did not look like my other friends, asked who he was, to which a replied:
"Don't worry, Honey, he's just another Fred of mine."
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︎ Mar 15 2021
Did you hear that all cats have the same favorite color?
Yep. Apparently it's purple.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
What causes all the super-yachts to squeeze together in the same tourist spots?
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︎ Feb 17 2021
Did yβall know there no canaryβs in the Canary Islands? The Virgin Islands are the same!
There arenβt any canaryβs there either.
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︎ Feb 16 2021
Praying mantises don't all follow the same religion.
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︎ Nov 11 2020
What do you call it when all the hens in the henhouse quit on the same day?
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Redheads are all the same
They do everything gingerly
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︎ Nov 15 2020
Most people think that all testicles are pretty much the same, but
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︎ Jul 30 2020
How do you make 3 old ladies all yell profanities at the same time ?
Have a fourth one yell "BINGO"
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︎ Aug 28 2020
I wish you f(ALL) the same
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︎ Oct 07 2019
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos
When will they stop stereotyping
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︎ May 16 2020
How did the Grinch know to average all of the presents he stole, so that each Who in Whoville got the same amount returned to them?
Heβs a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
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︎ Dec 22 2019
Mexican jokes and black jokes are all the same
If you heard Juan you've heard Jamal
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︎ Apr 02 2020
Did you hear about the drummer who decided to name all his daughters the same name?
Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4.
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︎ May 24 2019
Why do German girls all have the same phone number?
Every one of them I ask says
999-9999
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︎ Jul 29 2019
I want to drink my coffee, smoke my cigarette, browse reddit on my phone all at the same time but I only have 2 hands. I wish I had another set of hands for this.
I think that would be pretty handy.
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︎ Feb 13 2020
We were at the aquarium. All dads in the vicinity made the same joke.....
There was a man cleaning a tank but all you could see was his hand. My dad leans to me and says "look! It's a rare hand fish."
The dad next to us with his two kids said "look everyone? Do you see the hand fish? That ones my favorite."
As we walked a way another family walked up and I heard their dad say "here we have the hand fish."
Edit: I told my dad about the response this is getting, to which he replied "Wow. Is it going viral? Should I call my doctor?" (Keep in mind he doesn't know how the internet works.)
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︎ Aug 09 2015
When the yogurt took over, we all made the same jokes
βFinally, our rulers will have culture,β
βOur society has curdled,β
βOur government is now the cream of the crop,β
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︎ Dec 03 2019
All food ends up in the same place...
Either it goes to waste or it goes to waist
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︎ Oct 28 2019
Sets of teeth are all essentially the same
Once you've seen one, you've seenamel
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︎ Sep 15 2019
This one time, all the rooms in a hotel were booked. But then comes this one guy, who asks for a room, in the same hotel, and gets one easily.
Because his name was Improvement. And there's always room for improvement.
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︎ Jun 09 2019
Why do all hotdogs look the same?
Because they are in bread.
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︎ Jan 15 2018
My girlfriend gave me a hard time about thinking pink, red, and maroon are all the same...
I told her I can't tell the difference between Laurie, Grant, and Jackman either.
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︎ Jan 10 2019
You women are all the same...
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︎ May 27 2019
I hired Emcee Adam Yauch for my kidβs birthday party but all he did was play the same Village People song over and over again.
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︎ Jun 27 2019
I believe all ships that didn't have enough lifeboats had the same lifeboats.
Why, you ask?
All their passengers were in the same boat.
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︎ Oct 18 2018
When people say that all rice is the same, that's a little bit
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︎ Mar 27 2019
All these sheep look the same..
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︎ Mar 19 2016
Did you hear about the extremist group that all gets the same haircut?
They are calling themselves the Krew Kuts Klan
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︎ Nov 29 2018
They all sound the same.
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︎ May 03 2018
All quilts are the same
That was a blanket statement.
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︎ Jan 20 2019
Why do all hot dogs look the same?
Because they're in-bread.
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︎ Jan 27 2018
I have two big ladders at home but when I got married to my second wife, she had a small ladder, so now I have a step ladder but I love it all the same
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︎ Jan 19 2019
Action words such as give, take, obey and untie are all said the same way.
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︎ Sep 14 2018
I've taken to watching episodes of Friends on multiple screens all at the same time
I just love synchronised Schwimmers
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︎ Aug 10 2018
Shopping centers are all the same...
...if you've went to one, you went to the mall.
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︎ Sep 10 2015
I've heard fish tell a lot of different stories but they all end the same way
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 30 2018
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
But they didnβt planet.
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︎ Sep 24 2020
You know Mexican jokes and black jokes are all the same,
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
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︎ Jun 12 2019
My friend is a drummer who recently had quadruplets and named them all the same....
Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4.
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︎ May 22 2019
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