Woman: Dr Dr. You gotta help me... My 3 sons all want to be valet drivers when they grow up...

It seems you have parking sons disease. There's nothing else I can do fer ya.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/physco219
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2022
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To all the organ donors out there: I just want to say I really appreciate what you do

...

...

...

That really takes guts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSteveA
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2022
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You want to know where dads store all the dad jokes?

They store it in dad-a-base.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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Try all you want to push the envelope

It will nonetheless remain stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chacham2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2021
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I want to tell you all about a girl that only ate plants.

You've probably never heard of herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcsweepin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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Hate on Applebees all you want

But banana hornets are just as bad

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/secretbonus1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2021
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You have a 2-door car you want to display. You get it detailed. You put it on a platform so everyone can see it. You set up special lighting so all the details shine.

You have just staged a coupe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/basementmatt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2021
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Downvote if you want, I don't carrot all
πŸ‘︎ 560
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CCplusplus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2018
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Who wrote the song: "All I want for exile, is you"

Pariah Carey

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmoBM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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I want to share a Russian pun with you all

but if no one likes it and it gets down-voted then so-v-iet

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UlteriorCovert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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Today my friend asked me β€œWhat kinda shit would make you want to stay home all day?”

I said β€œDiarrhea for sure”.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/El-Tarzan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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You can ask Rick Astley for his collection of Pixars movies all you want

He's never gonna give you Up

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iAmZel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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Daisy, Rose, Violet, Lily, I want you to all go get some sleep
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ServalSpots
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
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For all you folks living with diabetes... (My daughter and I both have type 1.) Here’s the joke β€” What do you say when the waitress at the Mexican restaurant asks you if you want sauce with your carne asada?

A1C por favor

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
If you don’t want to read it all read the bottom
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PvPzer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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What’s the best kind of booze if you want to dance all night long?

Wild Twerky

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brisquet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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If you want to get a girl to like you all you have to do is tell cat jokes

They’ll whisker off her feet

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSadisticNerd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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Did you know on average people want 3 covers on their bed at all times?

That’s just a blanket statement.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devabdulsalam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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Since it’s December 23rd I want to wish you all merry Christmas Adam!
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tommytnuts
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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I want you all to meet my dog, Puter.

Computer, good boy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/koravel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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Make all the dam jokes you want

I'm a chaperone for my wife's (5th grade teacher) trip to a local dam...

W: I can't get a hold of the people at the dam to remind them we're coming today.

Me: They're probably backed up.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skermy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2015
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I want to tell you all what's so great about the sun

But I can't put my finger on it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MobileTechGuy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2016
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You want to know where I store all my dad jokes?

In a dad-a-base.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xDukeSilverx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2021
🚨︎ report
You want to know where I keep all my dad jokes?

In a dad-a-base

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/V1V1S3CT10N
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
You want to know where I store all my dad jokes?

...in a dad-a-base

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thendof
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Do you want to know where I store all my dad jokes?

In the dad-a-base

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I want to tell you all about this girl who only eats plants...

You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slammogram
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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